Letters

For a while now you've had enough fine motor control to sign 'I love you', and get the correct fingers extended and hold the others in.  That was hard for you for a long time.  But, somewhere in your mind, the signs for 'airplane' and 'I love you' are inseparably connected.  So the sign becomes 'airplane-I love you'.  I mentioned to your mama that if you ever formed a secret club with your buddies growing up, that would make a good secret sign.  We got it on video either today or yesterday, finally.  It certainly makes me feel like I'm in a secret club with you when we sign to each other as I drive away to work.  I do love you.  Lots and lots.

A couple days ago your mama took you to DI and bought a firetruck ride/push toy.  It has a steering wheel that really works, and you're thrilled to ride it and steer it around.  Sophie likes to push it around too, but obviously can't steer it when she's pushing from the back.  Today you rolled into the kitchen sitting on the firetruck and steering while Sophie pushed you.  The two of you got around the house pretty well that way.  It was hilarious.  Every time Sophie stopped to look around you'd scoot the firetruck forward a little and say, "Come on, Sophie!  Let's go!" 

I've probably said this before, but I love that the two of you play together.  It's awesome.  There are so many families out there that have too much sibling animosity.  I don't know how young that kind of thing starts, but I'm hopeful that you won't do that with Sophie, or any of the other kids that might come along later. 

Your mama and I have tried to be fairly consistent in using Love and Logic with you so far, and a big part of that is that we give you two choices, and only two, for lots of things.  But you have this habit of making up your own third choice.  "Do you want milk or water?"  "Ummmmmm, I want juice."  "Do you want to finish your food now, or go lay on your bed for a while?"  "Ummmmmm, I want to run away and play."  I love that you come up with things on your own, and that you're smart enough to know what you want and how to make things work for you.  But of course, your third option is rarely one that we as your parents will be happy with, so we push you back to the two choices we gave you.  It causes you some frustration, but you are also learning that there are boundaries in our home and in your life. It's important for you to feel secure in knowing your parents are in control and care enough about you to set limits and enforce rules.  We want you to be well prepared for interacting with other authorities in your life.  You are very cute though.  "Ummmmmm....," with a little mischievous grin.

I think when you start to read these letters, it will be fun for you to read the stories I tell about how you behaved when you were little.  But I also feel I should try to put in advice and thoughts I have about deeper concepts that will matter to you, and things I think you should know for the future.  Today's installment is maybe a little deeper than most, but I think if you can grasp and make use of this concept, you'll be a lot better off than a lot of people in this world. 

As you grow up, you will hear of a concept called Emotional Intelligence.  If you don't hear about it from anyone else, you'll hear it from me, and most likely your mama too.  The basic gist of it is that emotions are a very real and important part of life.  They need to be dealt with in a healthy way, every bit as much as any other problem in your life needs to be solved.  When something stressful happens to you, you need to deal with the emotions as well as resolving the source of the stress.  Those emotions are real, and can have all sorts of effects on your mind and body.  Honestly, I'm just starting to learn all of this myself, but I can see that it opens up a whole new view on life that I never had before.  As much as I'd like you to think your mama and I are perfect, we're not.  We get mad at each other.  We frustrate each other.  We cause each other a lot of hurt.  And at present neither of our very different responses to that hurt have really been all that healthy.  But we're learning that taking care of the anger, frustration and hurt first leaves us open to really finding a good solution to the cause of those emotions.  It's almost impossible for us to solve those problems when we still have all of that emotion built up inside.  That's why I think it's important for you to learn early on how to deal with your own emotions, and how to help others deal with theirs.  It will make getting along with people so much easier for you, especially getting along with college roommates, a missionary companion or your wife.  I hope your mama and I can teach you well enough and set a good enough example for you that you'll be able to practice emotional skills long before you leave the house or have serious need for them.  

I love you.  I want only the very best for you.  I know I can't do very much to protect you from difficult experiences or heartache, but I hope I can teach you enough that you can find your way through the rough spots in life and come out the other side as a better person.  And I really hope I can convey to you some of the most important and life-changing things I've learned along the way, to save you from at least a little of the struggle I've faced.  

You are an amazing little boy.  Every time I snuggle with you I think about how much potential you have, and how poorly I am prepared to help you reach it.  But I find comfort in knowing that nobody can really be prepared for parenthood, and our Father in Heaven knows very well what you need and can help me along the way.  Together, the three of us can make a great man out of such a marvelous child.

Airplane-I love you, Jonah.

Love,

Daddy

Oh my sweet little girl, you've finally built up enough confidence to start walking!  Granted, you don't go very far yet, but it's so thrilling to watch you stand up in the middle of the room, sway a bit, maybe boogie a little (so immensely cute I can't even begin to do it justice), and then take several wobbly steps.  You incite a pitter-patter in my heart like only your mother can.  

You are looking so much more grown up now.  You walk some, your top two teeth are in, and you have the cutest haircut.  It's crazy that you've been in our home for over a year now.  And you've come so far.  You like to play games with your Mama and Jonah and I, and you've developed opinions on what you want and what you don't want.  It's so much fun to interact with you, and to watch you interact with Jonah.  I mentioned this in Jonah's last letter, but it's awesome to see the two of you play together.  Mama bought you a fire truck push toy that you can steer if you're riding it, but not when you're pushing it.  You're still a bit too young to grasp the concept of steering, but Jonah's the perfect age.  So he rides on the fire truck and steers while you push him around the house.  It's the perfect win-win situation, and makes your Mama and I laugh.

You seem to have a special affinity for percussion and rhythms and music.  Maybe I'm just biased and reading too much into things, but you start boogieing when I'm just idly tapping some rhythm on the table or my leg or something.  You love to slap the kitchen bench with me, and tune in to any sort of music that might be going on.  I can't help but wonder if it's related to how I used to walk around the house with you when you were very little and thump on your leg or your back to calm you.  I would always be doing some sort of mild rhythm with you.  I won't complain if you turn out to really like music, I promise.

It's still a total blast watching you grow up.  I love how excited you get when I come home from work.  I love how you wrinkle up your nose and grin at me.  I just generally love any time you look at me with a smile on your face and a sparkle in your beautiful blue eyes.  You have so much of your mother's looks in you, and yet you have your own beauty.  

I love you, little girl.  You are our little angel. 

Love,

Daddy