Letters

Jonah, life has gotten harder for you and me both in the past while.  You have so many difficulties as a three-year-old.  It's hard to share your toys with Sophie, it's hard for you to go to a new class on Sundays, and food is a challenge too.  We're such mean parents, though, we keep on insisting on these kinds of things.  You've handled the Sunbeam class on Sunday pretty well, although I know you miss the toys and treats.  And you're getting better about letting Sophie play with your toys.  But the food is still a problem.  You ask for some food, and then don't eat it.  You often just don't eat, in general.  I have a tendency to knock heads with you about a lot of things, and food is a big one for me.  I really want you to eat.  And it's so frustrating to me when you ask for something and don't eat it.  It brings up all my control issues.  My dad was very authoritarian with me, and those are the only skills I know.  So I don't like that kind of parenting, but I find myself doing it anyway.  One dinnertime when I was little, I put a lot of ketchup on my plate for french fries or whatever it was we were eating, and barely used any of it.  My dad was frustrated at how wasteful his kids were, and he decided I couldn't leave the table until I had eaten all that ketchup with a spoon.  I bawled.  I screamed about it.  I tried to run away from the table.  And I ended up eating that ketchup with a spoon.  My dad won, but it was no victory.  That is not the kind of memory I want to give you.  I have more growing up to do than I like to admit, but I promise I will learn better methods of relating to you, and work to keep our bond strong.  I don't want to lose that.

You're in that cute toddler stage where you have a few words mixed up.  You get 'ask' and 'tell' mixed up, and today you told us you wanted the phone to ring so you could call Grandma Joan.  We picked up the phone to call her, and you said, "No!  I want to call her when she answers!"  Or, rather, you want to answer the phone when she calls you.  Sometimes we can't figure you out for a bit.  But we all have a good laugh at it. 

Yesterday we went over to Grandma Joan's house so Mama could take a nap.  You played, and I took my computer and worked.  So, because I was working, I was only half listening to what you were saying to Grandma and Grandpa.  When you started saying, "Papa, I want you to come to my house," I started to worry a little.  I told you we couldn't go home because Mama was sleeping.  Papa burst out in laughter, and it took me a minute to figure out that you had designated a portion of the room as your "house", and you wanted Papa to "come over."  I was a little embarrassed, but I'm so glad your imagination is kicking in like that.  This morning you told me your dinosaur toy ate your tractor's tires, because he thought they were food.  I love to watch those little gears in your head whizzing 'round and making the funniest connections.  Sometimes you get this furrowed-brow look of concentration when you're trying to digest something I'm telling you, and I have to laugh at how transparent your thoughts are.  You're just like your Daddy.  Mama always says I couldn't keep a secret if I wanted to, because I'm too transparent.  I like to call it "without guile", which has better connotations.  I love that I can watch you think.  I do have to do more work as a Daddy because you can reason, and "because I'm the Daddy" kinds of statements or actions are not nearly as appropriate anymore as they might be for Sophie right now.  But that's what families are for.  You grow up, I grow up, and hopefully we all end up as better people in the end. 

I love you, kiddo.  It's hard for you, being three.  And it's hard for me, with you being three.  But we already know you learn super fast.  I just have to keep up now. 

Love,

Daddy

Sophie, you are growing up so fast.  There are so many little routines you've gotten into, to deal with the world around you.  You understand so much of what we're saying, and react to it in such a cute way.  I can tell you, "Let's go change your pants," and you'll walk down the hall to your room, go over to the changing table, and turn around, waiting for me to pick you up.  When you want a drink, you go get your sippy, if you can, and lay down on the floor to drink.  You know what it means when we say, "Let's go to Grandma's," and you head for the front door.  And then I say, "Oh, but you need your coat," and you walk over to the coat rack and start pawing at your coat.  When I get it down for you, you turn around and back up to me so you can put your arms in.  You've gotten pretty good at putting your arms in whatever sleeves we give you.  I love getting you dressed in your jammies for the night.  I change your pants, always with a few tickles here and there, and then put your legs in your sleeper.  Then I stand you up and hold up the sleeves, for you to put your arms in.  Then you watch me zip up the zipper, and as soon as I get that done you lean into me and give me a great big hug, because you know it's time for me to pick you up and take you to brush your teeth. You've also learned to sign a little bit.  I've been working with you a little, trying to get you to say Mama and Daddy.  I tap my chest and say, "Daddy," then tap your chest and say, "Sophie", and you giggle because I'm tickling you.  Now when I try to get you to say, "Daddy," you tap your chest.  You can sign 'more' and every now and then I can get you to sign 'milk' too.  You will clap when asked, dance, and sometimes wave.  It's very cute. 

You are such a snuggly little girl. I'll be sitting on the couch, and you'll be running around the house, and for no apparent reason you'll run over to me and lay your head down on my leg for a few seconds.  And then you're off and running again.  Tonight while Mama and Jonah were across the street at Grandma's you actually brought me a book, and snuggled with me while we read it.  You never cease to amaze me.  I don't remember Jonah being interested in books this early. 

Speaking of Jonah, he and you have developed quite a relationship.  Today when he woke up from his nap, the first thing he did was start calling out, "Sophie!  Sophie!"  You were still asleep.  But when you got up and I was changing your pants he came in your room to see you, and you just grinned and grinned.  You love to play together.  You'll follow him all over the house as he runs around.  He has a bit of a possessive streak, and when he yanks toys away from you, you let out a siren wail for a couple seconds, and then you're on to something else.  The two of you are learning to get along decently well.  I love watching you play together.

Sweetie, you are really growing up fast.  Every now and then you get this look on your face that makes you look so much older.  And I think about what life's going to be like as you grow up.  From my experience, having a girl in the family makes a world of difference in the level of kindness in the home.  I'm excited to see your influence on our family as you grow older. 

I love you.  Remember that.  You will always be so precious to me. 

Love,

Daddy