Letters

Dear Jonah,

I am freshly amazed every day by how much you've grown, and how fast you're learning.  Yesterday you spent the evening with Grandma and Grandpa Moon, while Mom and Dad went to the temple for their anniversary.  Thank you for being so good when you're away from us.  You are always so well behaved.  I love you. 

You spent the whole evening bouncing from one toy to the next, but when I was there, you were playing only with the marble track set.  Grandma said you thought the marbles were candy.  That's a little scary.  But when you were told they were just little balls, you were OK with that.  That's a good thing.  I don't want you choking, especially when Mom and I are gone. 

You've discovered candy!  I'm sure you'll think we're super mean when we don't give you candy all the time, but you have many many years ahead of you to enjoy sugar, and it's not good for you to have too much when you're young.  There is too much sugar in the world today, and it does bad things to your body.  There are lots of other things that do bad things to your body as well, and the United States seems to overindulge in all of them.  So, we're going to look like mean parents when we tell you 'no' to things that other parents don't.  Just get used to it.  You'll be better off in the long run.

In my office at work I have a picture frame you gave me for Father's Day in 2006 (we think).  Mom gives me new pictures every so often to put in it.  I love having pictures of you at work.  You're so cute.

This particular picture is one of Mom's favorites.  She loves to pester me about being a geek.  I just like that I have my kids in the picture, small though it may be.  Maybe the next picture will show your faces a little better.  I'd like that.

I love coming home from work to hear you yell, "Daddy!" from some remote corner of the house.  I love listening to you put sentences together, with words and concepts that seem way beyond normal for a 2-year-old.  You've done very well with your language.  And, as Mom says, you're a "fastidious boy" like your daddy.  You have such good control of your hands and fingers.  You do things so carefully.  It's so fun to just be around you and watch and listen. 

Be a good big brother for Sophie.  Especially in the next year, when she will be learning so much.  You will be a good teacher and good example for her. 

Keep up the good learning.  We'll know you've arrived when you pop out a word like 'cauterized' out of the blue.

 

Love,

Your Daddy

Dear Jonah,

"Are you cute?"  "Yes.  I'm cute."  I guess we're OK as long as that doesn't go to your head.

You are such an amazing kid.  I got to spend the evening with you tonight, while Mama and Sophie went down to the church.  You have the perfect balance between desire to run around recklessly, and desire to snuggle with your Daddy.  I love the relationship we have.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  I hope this relationship never ends. 

We watched some of our old video clips of you when you were younger.  You've come a very long way in just two years.  I had to laugh at the clip of you pushing one of Grandma's chairs across their newly finished floor, collapsing into a momentary cry of frustration when you hit the wall.  You figuring out how to move around is one of the most interesting documentaries I've ever seen.  The psychology plays into it just as much as the physical development.  You didn't try walking on your own until you saw lots of cousins doing it all at once.  You didn't have the confidence until then.  Now you run zigzags down the hall, scrunch up your "hurry" arms, and flail your legs around if you want. 

You can also play catch with me!  I'm amazed every time I see you catch a ball that I've thrown at you.  That's some real coordination.  And you're a good throw when you want to be. 

I love that the simple things entertain you so well.  You could run laps and play catch all day long, and not be bored.  And I could watch your cute little 2-year-old run for a very long time. 

Keep it up!

 

Love,

Daddy

I am amazed at your mental development recently.  You can put action and consequence together, and decide what actions you will take based on the consequences you want.  That's a huge step.  And right along with that, you have a very strong sense of what you want.  Now we just have to work with you on yelling about it. 

Mom says you think "share" is a one-way deal.  Other kids must give you their toys.  I just think it's awesome that you can learn these things now.  You have come so far in two years, but there is still so much to learn.  I'm glad we've put scripture reading and praying into our routine though.  Those are important things to learn.  I'm glad you like going to church too.  Even if we have to sit in the foyer for most of Sacrament Meeting.

 

We're heading into the time when you learn your limits in so many ways.  You have split your head open for the second time, and need to learn your physical limits.  You can only run safely for so long, then you get too tired to balance well.  There are also limits to how far you can push your parents.  Some days it seems like you spend a lot of time in your bed, because you want to push all our buttons at once.  But you are generally so well behaved, it's a joy being your parent.  You do learn quickly.  One of my favorite moments is when you want to throw something, but you know I've told you not to.  You pause, give me this scowl, and throw it anyway, knowing that I'm going to put you in your bed for it.  It's ok, because Daddies have to be tested every day, to see if the policies have changed, right?  I'm not the best at consistency, but you're certainly giving me lessons. 

I am absolutely thrilled every time I answer my phone and you're on the other end.  "Hi Daddy," just lights up my day.  I love to hear you tell me stories.  I love when you say something I don't understand, because my brain goes into overtime trying to figure out what you might be saying.  You told me this morning you were turning the egg on and off.  I was stumped trying to figure out what context this might be coming from.  Who knows what's going on in your head?  It makes the "Aha" moment that much better when we've spent a little effort trying to figure you out. 

You really do light up my life.  It's so much fun being your Daddy.  I can't resist when you tell me you need a tickle, and run away when I chase you.  And your "Magic Word, Please?" and "Thank you," are so endearing. 

I love you, kiddo

Love,

 

Your Daddy

Dear Jonah Copycat,

I know I should be writing a letter to your sister before I write you again, but as I went to write today, I noticed it's the 11th.  You were born on the 11th of August.  I decided it would be a good way to keep myself writing if I wrote to each of you at least on your birth date each month.  Sorry Sophie, you'll have to wait a week.

We're on Daylight Savings Time again.  That's never a friendly time for little kids.  You've always been one to go to bed fairly late.  That certainly doesn't help things for us right now.  But I suppose we've made our own bed, as much as we don't get to sleep in it much.  We're attempting to move your bedtime up as the days go by, and sometimes we're reasonably successful.  But I have no doubts that's just because you're baiting us into thinking we have some measure of control in the house. 

We took you out to my parents' house last week so you could stay the night.  You surprised my Mom with your obedience.  She told you to finish your sandwich before you could have any chocolate, and you threw your usual short-lived hissy-fit, and then ran off to play.  But it was CHOCOLATE.  No way you're going to leave that alone.  After a few minutes when my Mom turned around again, she saw you eating the chocolate you had coveted so much.  She was about to say something, but then checked to see if your sandwich was still on the table.  It was gone.  Chocolate is that good. 

And now for the reasoning behind my salutation in this letter.  You have this uncanny knack for repeating one side of a conversation as it's happening.  This is especially trying during phone conversations.  Often the party on the other end is left trying to figure out why the perfectly sane adult on our end is choking back laughter.  Did they say something wrong?  In another sense, you provide the perfect object lesson for watching our tongues.  When we hear the phrase "gay marriage" come out of your mouth, it creates that peculiar mixture of horror and hilarity that only a parent can know.  You have no clue what you're saying, but hey, it sure makes Mommy and Daddy giggle. 

The past few days have shown us just a little of what must be called the "Terrible Twos" by those not fortunate enough to have you as a child.  You've been miserable for days, and it's surprising that one hour's change in time can tweak your emotional state so badly.  I don't know that we've changed the amount of attention you get, or any other of those precarious balances that are supposed to keep you ticking without exploding.  So it must be the time change.  But the blessing in this situation is that Daylight Savings heralds warmer weather.  All little boys love warm weather and playing outside.  There's nothing like a good romp to wear you out and set your clock straight.

I love you,

Love,


Your Daddy

I'm always amazed you're so attached to your Daddy.  For that matter, I'm amazed anyone in this family is so attached to me.  The dog loves me, you love me, Sophie loves me, and your Mama REALLY loves me.  I say 'really' because she's the only one in that sequence that should know better, but still puts up with me.  But all of you still think I'm a good Daddy, so I can't be too bad, I guess.  Mama asks you who you want to tuck you in bed at night, and you always say, "Daddy!"  When I drive home and you're standing in the window, you always light up like crazy when you see me.  When I'm out in the yard working, you always want to put your shoes on and your jacket and come out and play in the yard with me. 

And you don't just play in the yard.  You're watching what I'm doing.  Just the other day you wanted to come out, and bring our rubber hammer with you.  You actually put up a fit when I tried to get you to leave the hammer in the house.  So, I finally gave in, and as soon as you got outside you ran straight to the biggest boulder in the yard and started banging on it with your hammer.  You'd seen me and your Grandpa breaking big rocks with the sledgehammer and wanted to do what we were doing. 

I've been carrying around several cute quotes you've said, and this is a good place to put them. 

When you would fall down and hurt yourself enough to cry, we'd ask, "Are you OK?"  Pretty soon you'd fall down, and start crying and yelling, "I'm OK!!  I'm OK!!"  Or when someone else was crying (mostly Sophie) it was, "Sophie OK!!!  Sophie OK!!" in a very distressed tone.

You once got a bad enough cold we needed to get out the humidifier.  That was one or two days after you'd taken a tour of the local fire station, and saw a bunch of fire fighters.  So it was the humidifier-fighter for several days.

I had set my Palm timer for some cooking once, and put my palm back in my holster and was playing with you when it went off.  You promptly said, "Daddy beep in the pants." 

Or the other day when I was leaned over you, strapping you into your carseat.  You looked up at me with those innocent little child eyes and reached out to touch my nose.  "Daddy nose.......Daddy have eyebrows in the nose."  I'm still laughing at that one.

We've watched a lot of Signing Times with you, and you've actually learned all your alphabet signs.  For a while you wanted us to sing the ABC song from the DVD for your nighttime song.  Between verses there's this rhythm that I sing to you as, "boom boom, ch, ch, boom, boom, ch, ch."  You think it's really funny, and now you've taken to singing it yourself, except it comes out as, "bumba bunch, bumba bunch!"

You've also taken to complimenting yourself.  When you're eating your cereal, or doing some other by-yourself task, you'll say, "I doing really good!"

One of the funnier comments came when Mama was faking shock at something and said, "Oh my!"  (Think, "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!")  As soon as she said that, there was this little voice floating across the room that said, "Heck!  Oh my heck!"

"You need to finish your beans, Jonah."  "No!  I'll have only one or two."  This from a two-year-old that thinks "two" means "more than one".

Before bed one night, when you requested a drink, we went down the hall and there was my water bottle sitting on the counter, which you like to call, "Daddy water."  I got a cup out of the cupboard, and before I registered what you were saying, I had turned on the tap and started filling it up with water.  So you're comment went, (pointing at the water bottle) "Daddy water!", and then in an utterly dejected tone of voice, "...or just Jonah water...."  which I guess was what you were calling tap water.  Sorry for disappointing you.

You have a moon night light in your room, which you often request to be turned on at night while you go to sleep.  One night you said, "Turn the moon off!  So my can be warm!"  We have no idea where that came from.

My latest favorite, I'm sitting on the toilet and you come in the bathroom and say, "Oh, I thought you were in your room, now i thought you were in the potty."  Except "thought" comes out as "fought", which just makes it so much more cute.

You are an incredibly smart kid.  When you couldn't even talk, we could ask you where things were, and you would go find them.  And you weren't LOOKING for them, you remembered where they were.  When we couldn't find your sippy cup, we'd ask you where it was, and you'd get this thoughtful look on your face and then wander straight to it, hidden behind some large toy or something.  Now, you pick up words and phrases like crazy, and YOU KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN.  I'm blown away.  And just the fact that you get a concept like, "I thought you were in your room" is astounding. 

I still love to watch you play with Sophie.  She follows you like a hawk as you run around the room.  She loves to watch what you're doing, and she grins at you a lot.  I'm glad you two get along so well.  You're so good to her too.  You're very kind and gentle. 

I love you, Kiddo.  I'm very proud of my son.

Love,

Daddy

It's Mother's Day, son.  I can't find the words to adequately describe your Mother to you, and I guess in the end, words won't really matter anyway.  I just hope you realize that the most incredible, wonderful, bright woman to ever enter my life also happens to be your mother.  And she is only at her brightest, most incredible, and most wonderful when she is mothering you.  You are such a wonderful kid, in part because of your personality, but ALL the rest of the credit goes to your Mama. Love her always, little one.

Your Mama told me the other day that you're her little baby, but you're now her walking, talking little baby, and it's astounding how much you know, and how much you can figure out on your own.  You looked through the floor vent in the back bathroom the other day, and said, "Oh.  There's the laundry.  Mama, the laundry is down there."  You could see the washer and dryer through the unconnected vent.

Your cuteness this month consisted of a million little things, including wearing your mother's heels and in your own words, going "kawack, kawack down the hall".  One morning when you had woken up before I left for work, you got very anxious when I walked out the door and said, "I don't want Daddy to go to work!"  We flew kites together this month, which was an exercise in parenting for your Daddy.  Once I had helped you get the kite up in the air, you had no interest in taking control, and ran off leaving me the choice of tangling the kite in a tree as I ran after you, dropping it and running after you, or standing there holding onto the kite and granting you victory.  You're good, kid.  Never let anyone say you can't outsmart your Daddy. One night as I put you to bed, you crawled up on your foot board and started "riding the horsey".  Imagination!  I'm SO glad that part of you has come into play.  I'm very excited to watch that unfold.

We are reminded of your continual attempt to expand your vocabulary when you tell us your motorcycle toy is under the "wash-disher", and your "winka-winka-lights ball" (LED bouncy ball) is "under the bed sideways," meaning it went under the side of the bed.  You're also learning all the home projects vocabulary we keep using, saying, "I want to go outside and watch Papa dig a stump," and, "Ochre hit me down in the dirt."

Speaking of outside, that's become your favorite place to be.  You go out on the back deck and ride your bike, but you won't push on the pedals.  That'll come.  Your Daddy is patient.  You play with Ochre quite a bit, you chasing her, her chasing you.  I love to leave the back door open and hear your giggles floating up from the back yard.  We're working to get a real backyard soon, so you have a better place to play than a weedy patch of dirt.  But that'll do for now, at least.

Again with more talking.  The things you say are so cute.  And you talk a lot, so there are lots of things to write about.  Add that to your parents' wonderment, watching you actually demonstrate that there's a brain in your head that may even have as much say over your behavior as your emotions.  I can't tell you how awesome that is.  Your latest statement of protest is "No Way!" which you've picked up from your cousin Ezra.  A few hours of exposure to that expression was enough for you to cement it in your head.  Contrast that with the days we've spent working with you on Please, Thank You, and Excuse Me.  You are actually very good with your manners, and in the case of that last polite phrase, you've become our little manners cop.  "Say, 'scuse me!" 

Another habit lately formed is trying to talk to us with your thumb in your mouth.  As you're learning more and more complex things to say, it becomes more and more unintelligible when said with your thumb in your mouth.  This is where Love and Logic really shines.  "I don't understand you with your thumb in your mouth."  Out pops the thumb, and real English falls right out of your mouth!  Honestly, I do sometimes understand you, but if I let you know that, then that would just train you to try speaking more clearly with your thumb still in your mouth.  Not exactly a skill for success, if you ask me.

I don't know if it's related to your thumb-sucking or not, but your front teeth don't close together when you bite down.  Your molars and fangs (canines) close together, but none of your incisors do.  I worry about that some, but mostly I'm lost in the humor of watching you take a bite of my ham sandwich and come away with everything but the ham.  And that's not for lack of trying either.  When you do bite something off, it's because you've stuck it in the side of your mouth, way back where your teeth will actually close together and bite.  It's a worry to your Mama and me, but we can't help but be amused with your snaggle-tooth, fangy look.

As all the books say kids are prone to, you thrive on routine.  At bedtime (which needs to move a bit earlier in the next while, to save your parents' sanity) we say, "Let's go put your jammies on," and you fill in the rest with, "An' brush my teef, an' sing a song, an' have a prayer, an' go to bed!"  You have lately had several misbehaving nights, which mean going to bed without some of your routine, but generally we've stuck to it.  I think it's been good for you.

One side effect of your nighttime routine combined with church meetings is you think that every time we sing a song we have to have a prayer too.  You will go downstairs to play the piano (another thing I'm thrilled you like to do) and we'll hear you play and sing for a while, then stop and say a little prayer, then play and sing some more.  We've convinced you to say the family prayer at a couple meals now, but you aren't very willing to do that yet.

Well, other than the specifics mentioned here, you're starting to become a regular little boy.  You like trucks, cars, balls, running, playing in the dirt, climbing and jumping off things.  It's an awesome experience watching you grow up.  It inspires such a mix of emotions in your parents.  Excitement for what's coming, sadness that our little baby is growing out of some of his cuteness, worry about what things might go wrong in our family life and turn you away from us,joy in the cuteness and humor of today, and a sense of awe at the potential we are meant to help you reach. 

You are an incredible kid.  I love you.

Love,

Your Daddy

Your mother keeps saying, "He's going to be 3 in two months!"  The little signs of new development are still filling us with wonder and appreciation for your incredible brain and body.  You sing with us at bedtime now, and you'll say a prayer with us too.  You are helpful in carrying things around, throwing things in the "gah-brrrge" for us, and bringing us things we can't reach.  You've started being willing to sign again.  You're starting to call me "Dad" instead of "Daddy" and I'm not sure I want to see that go away just yet.  And the big one for me, your imagination is peeking out in more and more flashes here and there.  You'll drive your cars around, making car noises and talking about how they're driving fast, and then they park.  Just the other day you came down the hall with your arms like you were holding a baby, and told your mother how you were laying her down to sleep.  So gentle.  And I'm always delighted when you crawl up into my lap with a book you want me to read to you.  Your mother and I talk a lot about how to encourage your mind, and I just hope we don't blow it. 

Along with imagination and your participation in the family, you've developed a small rebellious streak.  When I need to change your pants, or I'm trying to get you dressed, you'll shout, "Stop it, Daddy!"  And when I'm doing things to you that you don't want me to do, you'll cock your arm back and after a good long thought about what you're doing and what the possible consequences may be and is it really worth it and what else could you possibly do to express your frustration, you'll hit me with all the two-year-old force you can muster.  And then, even though you knew this would happen all along, you scream and fight when I put you in bed for some quiet time. 

Now that the weather is a bit warmer, I love to go on long walks as a family, with you and Sophie in the stroller.  I love that anywhere we go with you, there's a little narration going on.  "Bumpy bumpy!"  "We're going down down down!"  "There's a truck! (basketball!  car!  doggy!  motorcycle!)"  We've gotten so used to your narrations that when your mother and I go somewhere without you, we have to fill in all the little things you'd say if you were there, because we miss you.

You aren't just changing yourself as you grow up, you're also changing your Daddy in many small ways.  One of them is that I used to think picking up a 40-50 pound bag of dog food or flour was pretty heavy.  Now that I regularly lug around a 30+ pound kicking and screaming little boy, those inert bags are pretty tame.  Tough Daddy.  Ha ha.  Another way I'm slowly changing is I'm learning to multitask a little bit, in that you don't have to do quite so much yelling so Daddy will pay attention to you.  When I'm doing other things, I tend to tune you out, which you are understandably not happy with.  I'm learning to listen for you even when I'm not giving you my full attention.

Other ways you change me are making me more tolerant of nasty diaper smells, more patient in rush times, more willing to laugh at small things during stressful times, and more appreciative of all the little things that make our world so wonderful.  You are a wonderful source of inspiration to me. 

I love you,

Love,

Daddy

This month you're learning all the lessons pertinent to playing well with others.  You've grown into the concept of Toddler Property Laws:

    If I like it, it's MINE!
    If it's in my hand, it's MINE!
    If I had it a little while ago, it's MINE!
    If it looks like mine, it's MINE!
    If I think it's mine, it's MINE!

And specific to your situation:

    If it's at Grandma's house, it's MINE!
    if I've ever played with it when you're not around it's MINE!

Since your sister has started to crawl and can get into your toys, you have suddenly become very possessive.  I have always been intrigued that a child can be happily playing with some toy, but as soon as he sees someone pick up something else he considers 'his' he'll drop what he's doing and jump up to reclaim his unused (but still cherished!) property.  It's so hard to explain to you that your sister just wants to be where you are, and be doing something like what you're doing.  She's not trying to get in the way, or steal your toys away from you, or act out any of those malicious intentions your evil-eye glare ascribes to her.  She just wants to do what you're doing.  As the oldest child, I'm not sure you will ever understand the struggle to catch up to and keep up with an older sibling.  It's something Sophie and all the kids younger will live with for a very long time, until finally one day they give up chasing you and find themselves.  Make sure you know who you are by that point, so that things aren't reversed and you end up chasing the poise and self-confidence in them.

Your language and mental skills are improving, as ever.  My favorite advancement this month is the addition of supporting sentences to your thoughts.  You don't just say what you want, you follow it up with an explanation.  "Daddy, I don't want my seatbelt anymore.  This is your seat.  That's (pointing to the driver seat) my seat.  I'm getting bigger.  I'm taller.  I want to drive the car, and park."  Or, "I want to go to Grandma's house.  She has cookies over there."  And for the first time, you came out with a spontaneous, "I love you, Daddy."  I can manage to pick my jaw up off the floor, but I'll need some help getting off this cloud.  You could have powered a small city with the electric feeling shooting through me right then.  But as good as you are, there are still some things that slip by you.  Mama asked you if you were a punk.  You said, "Yes!  I'n a punkin!"  

My favorite day with you this month was when we took a trip downtown to Gallivan Plaza for free pizza, and a break from the home project grind.  You love pizza, and you love parks.  At one point in the 'party' they started handing out balloons to kids.  I couldn't find where they were coming from, and couldn't convince you to follow me long enough to look, but you soon pointed out three or four balloons floating up and away.  "Look Daddy!  Balloons up in the sky!"  You were so happy to be at a park, you just wanted to run run run.  We ran around the ice skating rink (empty cement oval in the summer).  We ran around IN the ice skating rink.  We ran back and forth through the water fountain 'hallway' many many times (as far from the actual water as you could get.  Heaven forbid you actually get wet).  I just followed you with the camera, and got lots of good pictures of you, running running running.  We rode the train from Temple Square to the Plaza and back, which you liked as well.  You had a good time, and your Daddy had a wonderful time with you.

I love you, kiddo.  One of your favorite things to do at night is ask for a 'nuggle from Daddy before you fall asleep.  I love just holding you when you're calmed down and ready for sleep.  I like this snuggly stage of life.  I know you'll grow out of it, but I'm glad for it right now.

Love,

Daddy

Oh my heavens.  Time sneaks away, and all of the sudden you're so much more grown up than before.  This last year has gone by quickly, of course, but it also seems so long ago that you turned two.  Part of that is right after your birthday, Sophie was born.  It has been very satisfying to see that your milestones and progress haven't been eclipsed by watching Sophie grow up.  You are still such an amazing child.  You can do and say so many more things than last year.  For me, your biggest milestone has been your grasp of conceptual thinking.  Your imagination shows up when you ride your bike across the deck to the "Coffa-setta" (Conference Center), and when you come down the hall with your arms held out like you're holding a baby, and tell Mama you're putting the baby in her crib so she can go to sleep.  Your reasoning is evident when you say "I'm going to run over to Grandma's.  There are no cars coming to bump me, so I can just run over," or, "The sun is not gone away.  I don't want to go to bed."  You are still stubborn, but you're starting to be OK with the concept of, "When you finish your cereal, you can do X," or, "When you finish your milk, you can have juice."  

Tantrums seem to be your latest fetish.  You're working your way through the phase where you think yelling and throwing things will get you what you want.  Or, when you're doing something you know you shouldn't, you think it's effective to tell us, "Go away!  Don't see me!"  This is a very frustrating time for both you and your parents, but I think we're all learning.  

You're turning in to a great older brother.  I think your jealousy is wearing off, and you're finding that Sophie is kind of fun to play with.  She absolutely adores you.  When she's fussing in her crib because nobody has come to get her out yet, she lights up and giggles when you come in the room.  She loves to see you, follow you around, and play with whatever you're playing with.  You're very eager to tell us when Sophie's awake, and all the things she's doing.  I'm excited to see you grow up together.  

I've spent some time this last week watching movie clips of you a year ago, and I'm astounded at how different you are now.  These things just sneak up on me.  Last year, you were still getting the hang of talking.  You thought your name was "Nah-nee."  My favorite video of that is I where I say "Can you say Jo?"  You say, "Jo."  "Nah?"  "Nah."  "Jonah?"  "Nah-nee!"  And then you giggle like crazy.  When you turned two you could walk pretty well, but it still took some concentration.  You liked to wear other people's shoes.  You liked to hear the sound of your feet slapping down the hallway, or especially crossing bridges at the zoo or elsewhere.  Now you're more interested in whether or not you have rocks in your sandals (courtesy of your Daddy's slow yard project...), and you want to run just about everywhere.

Again, at all your major milestones, I worry that I'm not going to be a good enough Daddy to bring you up as a well-adjusted, happy individual.  It's hard to pull against all the currents in today's society that want to sweep you into laziness, entitlement, and general lack of productivity and creativity.  I feel a strong desire to pull you as hard as I can away from that kind of thinking, but I get nervous with the realization that you'll be kicking and screaming the whole way, just like any normal kid.  How much do I try to protect you from, and how much do I let go and let you learn the hard way?  I really don't think anyone can answer those questions for me, except you and I together.  I figure we'll be OK, as long as you can keep your wry sense of humor and say to me, as you did when I tried to throw your ball into the seat of Sophie's saucer and missed, "Try again, Daddy."

Love,

Daddy

Jonah, you are turning into a stereotypical little boy.  It's funny how in the past week or so you've gained a scab from some kind of scrape on your tummy, scabs from skinning your knees and palms, got a bee sting, and started pre-school.

Pre-school!  Oh heavens, you're growing up.  Over the past couple years I've heard people talking and read blogs about parents sending their first kid off to kindergarten or first grade, and how it's all emotional to see their kid so grown up.  I always just passed it off as over-emotional mommies that lack proper perspective on kids and their development (and yes, I have a mighty high horse).  But seeing you go out the door to walk to pre-school with your mama changed MY perspective.  And no, I'm still not gushy and teary-eyed like some people, but it's still a big impact on me.  You're my little boy. 

I think pre-school is going to be a very good thing for you.  You're somewhat of an anti-social creature.  You stand on the sidelines and watch other kids play.  You don't participate very much in pre-school yet.  Just the other day you brought home a sheet of green construction paper with one little white streak on it.  I asked you what the kids did at preschool that day, and you said, "They painted, but I just played with the green ball."  The mothers that have hosted the pre-school so far say that you generally participate in snack time and that's about it.  I really hope this isn't a lasting thing. 

You have developed some pretty good emotional control lately.  Love and Logic really does work!  The big milestone marker was a few days ago when Mama was giving you a haircut.  You HATE haircuts, and generally scream through the whole thing.  So, Mama's cutting your hair and I'm standing in front of you to try to help keep you a little calmer and maybe help you not wiggle so much, and to give Mama some moral support.  You were screaming something to me, and were so freaked out that I really couldn't understand what you were saying.  I told you I couldn't understand, and you immediately stopped screaming and very emotionally, but very clearly, said, "Daddy, I need a tissue."  And when I got you a tissue and wiped your nose, you didn't scream any more.  That's some serious control, kiddo.  I am still very impressed. 

You still like to throw small tantrums though.  But lately they've taken the general form of:

"I want some chips, Daddy."

"No."

"I WANT SOME CHIPS"

"Does it help to yell?"

"....grumble, grumble, grumble...."

I think you're finally learning that there are limits, and they generally don't move for all your protestations.  And you're learning that asking for something with a "Please?" generally goes over a lot better than yelling. 

You love balls, trucks, trains, pizza, running around, and Ochre.  Does it get any more boyish than that?  You tell me to hold my arms out in a circle, making a "basket hoop" so you can throw your basketball through.  You have enough coordination to play a pretty good game of catch.  I've never really seen a 3-year-old that can do that.  What will I do if you grow up with coordination and a hankering to play sports?  I think I can help you in a general sense when you're still little, but beyond that you're out of my realm of experience.  I've never had real coordination.  I guess if sports is something you really take to, we'll figure it out.

We're very near the end of the yard projects, finally!  We have a guy scheduled to come spray hydroseed tomorrow evening.  Then we can just "sit back and watch the grass grow," so to speak.  Your Mama and I have lots of things in mind for all the extra time we think we'll have.  Most of that involves restoring your Mama's sanity, which has been steadily sapped away starting with our move right before you were born.  She's slowly been worn down more and more these past three years, and now it's time to put significant effort into fixing that.  Your Mama has put up with a lot.  She definitely needs a break.  So I think the routine for the next couple weeks will be Daddy comes home from work and Mama disappears to do her own thing.  Or we go to some activity as a family.  Your parents are looking forward to this slower pace with desperate eyes right now. 

Jonah, I get frustrated with you a lot, as I'm sure any father of a 3-year-old would do.  But you really are such a good kid.  You behave pretty well, you obey well, and you're starting to make right choices because YOU want to.  I'm so glad for that.  I don't want to be a dictator in your life.  I want you to be able to think for yourself, and choose good things as a result of that thinking.  I feel so inadequate as a parent, and I would be very worried if you were too dependent on me.  I want you to be able to stand on your own two feet and take on the world.  You certainly have the potential. 

I love you, kiddo. 

Love,

Daddy

 

For a while now you've had enough fine motor control to sign 'I love you', and get the correct fingers extended and hold the others in.  That was hard for you for a long time.  But, somewhere in your mind, the signs for 'airplane' and 'I love you' are inseparably connected.  So the sign becomes 'airplane-I love you'.  I mentioned to your mama that if you ever formed a secret club with your buddies growing up, that would make a good secret sign.  We got it on video either today or yesterday, finally.  It certainly makes me feel like I'm in a secret club with you when we sign to each other as I drive away to work.  I do love you.  Lots and lots.

A couple days ago your mama took you to DI and bought a firetruck ride/push toy.  It has a steering wheel that really works, and you're thrilled to ride it and steer it around.  Sophie likes to push it around too, but obviously can't steer it when she's pushing from the back.  Today you rolled into the kitchen sitting on the firetruck and steering while Sophie pushed you.  The two of you got around the house pretty well that way.  It was hilarious.  Every time Sophie stopped to look around you'd scoot the firetruck forward a little and say, "Come on, Sophie!  Let's go!" 

I've probably said this before, but I love that the two of you play together.  It's awesome.  There are so many families out there that have too much sibling animosity.  I don't know how young that kind of thing starts, but I'm hopeful that you won't do that with Sophie, or any of the other kids that might come along later. 

Your mama and I have tried to be fairly consistent in using Love and Logic with you so far, and a big part of that is that we give you two choices, and only two, for lots of things.  But you have this habit of making up your own third choice.  "Do you want milk or water?"  "Ummmmmm, I want juice."  "Do you want to finish your food now, or go lay on your bed for a while?"  "Ummmmmm, I want to run away and play."  I love that you come up with things on your own, and that you're smart enough to know what you want and how to make things work for you.  But of course, your third option is rarely one that we as your parents will be happy with, so we push you back to the two choices we gave you.  It causes you some frustration, but you are also learning that there are boundaries in our home and in your life. It's important for you to feel secure in knowing your parents are in control and care enough about you to set limits and enforce rules.  We want you to be well prepared for interacting with other authorities in your life.  You are very cute though.  "Ummmmmm....," with a little mischievous grin.

I think when you start to read these letters, it will be fun for you to read the stories I tell about how you behaved when you were little.  But I also feel I should try to put in advice and thoughts I have about deeper concepts that will matter to you, and things I think you should know for the future.  Today's installment is maybe a little deeper than most, but I think if you can grasp and make use of this concept, you'll be a lot better off than a lot of people in this world. 

As you grow up, you will hear of a concept called Emotional Intelligence.  If you don't hear about it from anyone else, you'll hear it from me, and most likely your mama too.  The basic gist of it is that emotions are a very real and important part of life.  They need to be dealt with in a healthy way, every bit as much as any other problem in your life needs to be solved.  When something stressful happens to you, you need to deal with the emotions as well as resolving the source of the stress.  Those emotions are real, and can have all sorts of effects on your mind and body.  Honestly, I'm just starting to learn all of this myself, but I can see that it opens up a whole new view on life that I never had before.  As much as I'd like you to think your mama and I are perfect, we're not.  We get mad at each other.  We frustrate each other.  We cause each other a lot of hurt.  And at present neither of our very different responses to that hurt have really been all that healthy.  But we're learning that taking care of the anger, frustration and hurt first leaves us open to really finding a good solution to the cause of those emotions.  It's almost impossible for us to solve those problems when we still have all of that emotion built up inside.  That's why I think it's important for you to learn early on how to deal with your own emotions, and how to help others deal with theirs.  It will make getting along with people so much easier for you, especially getting along with college roommates, a missionary companion or your wife.  I hope your mama and I can teach you well enough and set a good enough example for you that you'll be able to practice emotional skills long before you leave the house or have serious need for them.  

I love you.  I want only the very best for you.  I know I can't do very much to protect you from difficult experiences or heartache, but I hope I can teach you enough that you can find your way through the rough spots in life and come out the other side as a better person.  And I really hope I can convey to you some of the most important and life-changing things I've learned along the way, to save you from at least a little of the struggle I've faced.  

You are an amazing little boy.  Every time I snuggle with you I think about how much potential you have, and how poorly I am prepared to help you reach it.  But I find comfort in knowing that nobody can really be prepared for parenthood, and our Father in Heaven knows very well what you need and can help me along the way.  Together, the three of us can make a great man out of such a marvelous child.

Airplane-I love you, Jonah.

Love,

Daddy

Hi Jonah,

As always, your vocabulary is growing by the day.  When we read books with you, you definitely have your favorites and have memorized lots of them.  So you read them to us sometimes.  And you sing along when we sing bedtime songs.  You have almost learned the ABC song, and you like to sing it by yourself.  You do so well with your letters.  We are still working on getting you to recognize all the numbers. 

My favorite things you've said this month are, "Does that make sense?"  And, "Yes sir!"  We're not sure where you learned 'sir', but you say it in such a hilarious way.  And your kid logic is amazing.  As we're passing the Honda dealer, "Grandma has an H like that on her car!"  When you want to play with one of Sophie's toys, "But Sophie is asleep.  I can have that now."  You like to pull out one of the two posts that hold the gate shut in the backyard, and when we scold you for it, "But there is still one in the gate.  Ochre won't get out."  You ARE an obedient kid, but what we ask MUST pass the kid logic test.  If it makes sense to you, you're happy to obey. 

You might be growing out of your afternoon nap soon.  For the past while it's been a little hit and miss.  I'm not sure if I like when you take naps or not.  You're much more cheerful in the evening if you've had a nap, but you go to bed earlier when you haven't.  No offense, I still love you lots and lots, but it's very nice when you go to bed early.  It means your mother and I can go to bed early too.  We don't get enough sleep in this house.  

You are still so darn cute, little boy.  I still love to watch you run.  It's your short legs that pump so fast, and the way you hold your arms.  And every time you're upset about something, whether it be a bonk on your head or your parents telling you to go to bed, you want to snuggle.  I LOVE snuggling with you.  I know you won't like it forever, so I'm soaking up every minute.  I love that you're excited when I come home.  I love that you narrate what's going on in your life to me, even when I'm in the kitchen and you're down the hall in your room.  "Daddy!  When the red goes away, I can get up!"  (You have a timer with a red wedge showing how much time is left for something.  As time goes by the wedge shrinks, and eventually disappears.)

I've spent a lot of time this month thinking about what life is going to be like as you grow up.  There is so much to learn.  There is so much to teach you.  I'm not so great of a teacher myself, so I rely on your Mama a lot, and I pray that I will be able to make the most of the learning moments I'm given with you.  I have a lot to learn as well. 

I want you to be able to think for yourself.  I want you to be able to make conscious decisions about things like what extracurricular activities you wanto do during your junior high and high school years, or what college to attend, or what to study in school, or whether or not you want to believe in the things your parents believe in.  You have so much more control of your life than I do.  You need to choose things to do based on how much you want to do them, and how much you want the consequences of those choices.  Live your life by choice, not by letting others choose for you, including me.  There are two poems I think are inspirational in deciding how to live your life.  I may not agree 100% with everything they say, but the sentiment is very good.

The first is "If--" by Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master;
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

The second poem is "Invictus" by William Ernest Henry:

Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
       My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
      I am the captain of my soul.

As I grew up, I never really understood that I was in control.  I always wanted to blame someone else for any unfortunate circumstances I might fall into, when in reality it was my inaction and passivity that got me there in the first place.  I don't want you to make the same mistakes.  I hope you'll learn early to make your own decisions, and to make good choices too.

I love you, Jonah. 

Love,

Daddy

Well Jonah, it's time to introduce you to an idea called "Labor of Love."  You are no longer a cute little baby.  You are still cute.  You still have such a wonderful charm.  But you are also picking up some bad behaviors.  Your Mama and I knew this was coming, so we're not baffled by it, but it does try our patience.  I'm starting to worry about your bedroom door, because it seems every time we send you unwillingly to your room, you give it quite a thump.  You definitely have a temper, and it's going to be hard for you to learn to control that.  I've been trying to tell you that it's OK to feel angry, but it's not OK to hit, kick, or throw things in anger.  You need to deal with your anger in other ways.

In spite of your recent behavior issues, you are still such a good kid.  You are very well behaved, and you love to snuggle.  I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it, I LOVE snuggling with you.  I'm so glad I can be around when you get hurt and start to cry, "I need a snuggle!"  I hope you stay snuggly like this for a long time.  I know it will pass, but I love it.

You are starting to spell lots of the words you see now.  I was putting Sophie in the car the other day when I heard you, "T-O-Y-O-T-A!"  You've spelled your freight train book for me from start to finish once already.  I'm not sure you understand that we read left to right yet, but I think you're starting to get it.  Sometimes you'll spell things backwards, and then it's a nice challenge to figure out what you're spelling, but for the most part you "read" left to right.  We've tried to spell some simple words for you, and get you to read them, but I don't think you're at that level yet.  You show interest in spelling the words, but not in knowing what the words mean yet.

You've become quite the telephone conversationalist lately.  You'll call Grandma Moon and give her an ear full about what you've done that day.  Or you'll call me at work and tell me what's going on at home.  It's so funny to listen to your side of the conversation when you're talking to someone else on the phone.  

It's Christmas time again, and I think you almost understand what it's all about this year.  You've certainly been excited about putting lights up on the house, and watching our Christmas tree.  We have the stereotypical family-with-small-children Christmas tree this year.  No ornaments below 4 feet.  But we don't have a lot of ornaments in the first place.  Our tree has colored lights, and it looks pretty good just with the lights on.  

Christmas has always been a special time of year, for most people, and for me too.  I love all the lights, the music, and the snow.  But I also love the feeling of kindness and courtesy from everyone.  I love that the world focuses on Christ for a little while.  

The world becomes such a better place when more people focus on Christ.  The Proclamation on the Family is very true when it says happiness is more likely when you focus on Christ.  I just wish we could all remember that for the rest of the year.  I want you to know that your parents aren't perfect by any means, but we both know that Jesus Christ lives, and his atonement is the only way we can make up for  all the wrong things we do.  We are trying to build a more Christ-centered home for you to grow up in.  It's not so easy, but we both feel it's very important.  It's important to us to share what we believe with you.  Many times in my life I have felt the love and power of Jesus Christ.  To me, He brings peace.  I have never felt as peaceful as when I know I'm living right and doing the small and basic things He asks.  Real peace doesn't come any other way.  I hope, when the time comes, that you will decide for yourself to live by the principles that bring peace, and learn to love the Savior on your own.

I love you, kiddo.  I look forward to the next 15 plus years I have to spend with you at home.  I don't think it will be easy for you or for me, but I know I will always love you.  Remember that.  

Love,

Daddy

Jonah, life has gotten harder for you and me both in the past while.  You have so many difficulties as a three-year-old.  It's hard to share your toys with Sophie, it's hard for you to go to a new class on Sundays, and food is a challenge too.  We're such mean parents, though, we keep on insisting on these kinds of things.  You've handled the Sunbeam class on Sunday pretty well, although I know you miss the toys and treats.  And you're getting better about letting Sophie play with your toys.  But the food is still a problem.  You ask for some food, and then don't eat it.  You often just don't eat, in general.  I have a tendency to knock heads with you about a lot of things, and food is a big one for me.  I really want you to eat.  And it's so frustrating to me when you ask for something and don't eat it.  It brings up all my control issues.  My dad was very authoritarian with me, and those are the only skills I know.  So I don't like that kind of parenting, but I find myself doing it anyway.  One dinnertime when I was little, I put a lot of ketchup on my plate for french fries or whatever it was we were eating, and barely used any of it.  My dad was frustrated at how wasteful his kids were, and he decided I couldn't leave the table until I had eaten all that ketchup with a spoon.  I bawled.  I screamed about it.  I tried to run away from the table.  And I ended up eating that ketchup with a spoon.  My dad won, but it was no victory.  That is not the kind of memory I want to give you.  I have more growing up to do than I like to admit, but I promise I will learn better methods of relating to you, and work to keep our bond strong.  I don't want to lose that.

You're in that cute toddler stage where you have a few words mixed up.  You get 'ask' and 'tell' mixed up, and today you told us you wanted the phone to ring so you could call Grandma Joan.  We picked up the phone to call her, and you said, "No!  I want to call her when she answers!"  Or, rather, you want to answer the phone when she calls you.  Sometimes we can't figure you out for a bit.  But we all have a good laugh at it. 

Yesterday we went over to Grandma Joan's house so Mama could take a nap.  You played, and I took my computer and worked.  So, because I was working, I was only half listening to what you were saying to Grandma and Grandpa.  When you started saying, "Papa, I want you to come to my house," I started to worry a little.  I told you we couldn't go home because Mama was sleeping.  Papa burst out in laughter, and it took me a minute to figure out that you had designated a portion of the room as your "house", and you wanted Papa to "come over."  I was a little embarrassed, but I'm so glad your imagination is kicking in like that.  This morning you told me your dinosaur toy ate your tractor's tires, because he thought they were food.  I love to watch those little gears in your head whizzing 'round and making the funniest connections.  Sometimes you get this furrowed-brow look of concentration when you're trying to digest something I'm telling you, and I have to laugh at how transparent your thoughts are.  You're just like your Daddy.  Mama always says I couldn't keep a secret if I wanted to, because I'm too transparent.  I like to call it "without guile", which has better connotations.  I love that I can watch you think.  I do have to do more work as a Daddy because you can reason, and "because I'm the Daddy" kinds of statements or actions are not nearly as appropriate anymore as they might be for Sophie right now.  But that's what families are for.  You grow up, I grow up, and hopefully we all end up as better people in the end. 

I love you, kiddo.  It's hard for you, being three.  And it's hard for me, with you being three.  But we already know you learn super fast.  I just have to keep up now. 

Love,

Daddy

Jonah, this has been an eventful month for you.  Towards the end of January we took a long weekend and went up to Bear Lake.  It's the middle of the winter, so of course we didn't go for the lake.  We just wanted to get away.  On the way up you hit one of the long-awaited every-kid-does-this milestones.  You asked, "Are we there yet?"  And close on the heels of that one, you said, "Sophie's touching me!"  Ah, the beautiful sounds of childhood. 

Mama got a bunch of movies from the library for us to watch while we were at Bear Lake, and you fell in love with Mr. Bean and all of the Warren Miller ski videos.  I think it's absolutely hilarious that you like Mr. Bean.  We got a video of you watching it, and it's so funny to hear you say, "Mishter Bean."  Now when we drive around town and you see Mini Coopers on the road you point out "Mishter Bean's car!"  

Our drive home from Bear Lake was a white-knuckle experience.  It was snowing enough to coat the road, and all roads out of Bear Lake are canyons.  We tried going up the canyon to the south of the lake, and turned around after a very short stretch.  We were sliding around the road a fair bit.  So we waited for snow plows to go up the canyon, but that didn't happen.  I built up my gumption, and we just forged our way up the canyon.  It was scary, sliding around and wondering if we would make it up the next hill or not.  But we did, and things were OK from the top of the canyon until we started down into the Salt Lake valley.  It got pretty bad then as well, but it was the freeway so I didn't feel quite as nervous.  You and Sophie slept through most of the ride, but I thought you'd like to hear about it.  I hope we have a lot of vacation memories for you to look back on.

We finally bought a TV this month.  It was cheap, from one of the KSL.com classified ads.  But it fills the fireplace hole, which was becoming one of Sophie's hang out spots, and it's SO much easier to deal with than the projector.  You and Sophie can watch your Signing Times and Thomas movies with much less stress.  We even got a converter box, to prepare for the digital TV switch-over.  You'll never know analog TV, and frankly there wasn't much to miss.  But it's hard for me to describe how I feel about having a TV in the house finally.  The word 'resigned' comes to mind.  I like seeing the new digital technology and the improvement in picture quality.  That kind of thing is interesting to me.  And there are some things worth watching on TV, but most of it is not worth it.  I look at the TV and just see a battleground.  We will try to set standards as parents for watching TV, and you will fight those standards.  That's frustrating to me.  But I suppose that's how we grow as a family. 

I love you, Jonah.  It's difficult to be your parent.  Part of that is just that it's difficult by nature, but another part is that you're our first kid.  We're learning, and hopefully we won't do too much damage to you in the process.  Lately you think we're not serious when we tell you no, and it's very easy to get frustrated and angry because of that.  We're trying to be kind to you, while still being very firm about the limits in our home.  You don't like it very much, but you do need to learn to make good choices.  And I don't know how to teach you to make good choices because you want to, instead of because I tell you to.  My only hope is that you're a very smart kid, and you pick things up quickly.  You learn as we learn, and I think we'll come out OK in the end.  Just remember I love you.

Love,

Daddy

Well, I'm late in writing this letter to you. The past weeks have been pretty busy. I had an Orchestra concert, and have been gone all day for several days in the past while. It's hard on your Mama to have me gone all day. Especially because we've started to potty train you.

You're doing pretty well at it, although it will take some time to really get it down. I think you'll pick it up pretty quickly, as you do with so many other things. We haven't been very consistent about it in the past, but now we're on day 3 of being serious. If I could make a request, please, please learn quickly. It will make life easier for everyone. Having said that, I'm excited for you to take this next big step in growing up. You're taking responsibility for more things lately, and can do many things on your own, like brushing your teeth and putting your shoes on. I love to watch you do things yourself.

Part of the reason this letter is so late is that we're still working our way through the aftermath of a miscarriage. Mama had a surgery in the hospital, and all of the physical effects from that took some time to settle down. And the miscarriage has set off a small emotional storm in our house. There are so many feelings swirling around, and it also brings up lots of emotional things from the past. The current emotional blow is compounded when you add it to an already overwhelming list of issues to work through. Every day when I look at you I have two emotions in my heart. I'm so glad I have you. I love you so much. You are such a blessing to our family. But at the same time I can't help but think about the blessing we should be bringing into our family this summer. It's hard to let all the hopes and dreams go. I love my two children very much. I know I would also love three children very much.

With the advent of warmer weather (we're not quite free of the cold yet, but we've had some good days) you've been able to go outside and kick balls around, or play other games. Several people have commented on how coordinated you are. And you really do have some talent there. You can swing a bat and hit balls that I pitch to you, and you kick balls back to me that I've kicked in your direction. You've always been a good throw, and you catch pretty well too. I'm nervous to have a kid that's athletic, because I know I'm not very coordinated or good at sports. But at the same time, I would love for you to not face the social stigmas I faced in early school years for being uncoordinated. I believe the confidence you gain from the social interactions at recess and in gym time are very important early on.

A few days ago I knelt down at your bed with you to say your bedtime prayer, and got a really nice surprise. I helped you say things, but you went much further. I said, prompting you, "I'm grateful that I could go to the park today," and you said (these words are not exact. It's the best I remember), "Thank you for I could go to the park today and I went down the turny slide and we watched the cars stop for the train." Then I said, "I'm grateful that I could see my cousins today," and you said, "Thank you that I can see my cousins today and play with Ezra and I went down the slide with Adri and Lauryn and flew a kite." You are normally so reticent to say your prayers, so it was surprising and thrilling to hear you add your own thoughts to your prayer. I love that your brain works like that. I like hearing the stories you make up, and the Thomas the Tank Engine vocabulary you use. I'm also thrilled when you pray.

I went to class with you in church today, to help with the potty training. I like sitting in the background and watching you interact with other adults. It's cute when you almost forget who you're talking to and say, "Ma-- Teacher! Teacher!" And then you go off on some story or memory. You have good teachers, and you really have learned to behave well.

I love you, Jonah. As I said earlier, I'm excited for you to potty train. It's such a big step in growing up. I hope you come out of it still feeling like your Mama and I love you very much. Because we do, no matter if it's hard for us at times to be patient about potty training. We want what's best for you, so you can grow into a fully-functioning and well-rounded adult. Potty training is the next big step for you in that growth. Good luck, and remember that I am always here for you.

Love,

Daddy

Here's another late letter, although this one's not as bad as the last. I'm catching up. It has been scary to me to miss your letter dates. I worry that I'll slack off too much and end up quitting. This has been such a good thing for me right now, as well as for you in the future.

We've been having a pretty good time lately checking out the world outside the house. And just like the last letter I wrote, we're not quite out of Winter's grasp yet. It snowed yesterday, and is supposed to snow and rain today and tomorrow. But it should be sunny soon, and warmer weather is on the way. It has been nice to be able to go outside and enjoy our new yard. We filled up the sandbox a little while ago, and that has been your favorite place to go lately. Our sandbox is not very big, and because it's new we still have to reinforce the rules about keeping the sand in the box, but you love it. Just the other day you were digging in the sand with your hand, pretending you were a backhoe. You told me all about it, how you scoop the sand like this, then you move it over here, and dump it out like this. "That's how the tractors dig a hole, Daddy!" Sometimes I can convince you to come out in the yard and kick a ball around with me, or bat at my wonky pitches. I love that we have a yard for you to play in.

Recently we brought home a book from the library that had on one page some kids flying "rubber-band planes" in a park. You immediately declared that you needed a rubber-band plane. We had no idea where to get one, so the thought got shelved for a while. Then when we were at a store that had a Cub Scout section, we found them. I told you I had a surprise for you, and of course your first guess was candy. When I pulled out the plane, still wrapped up and not assembled, you had a very puzzled look on your face. I told you it was a rubber-band plane, and I'm not sure you believed me. It took a little while to sink in, but then you couldn't wait to get home to fly it. It went pretty well, and you like watching it fly around the yard. I think it's awesome that we found one for you. Now if we can just keep it off Grandma Joan's roof...

I'm looking forward to going swimming more, with the better weather. I think we're going tomorrow. I love taking you down the big water slide and hearing your hilarious belly laugh every time we go around the corners fast. You do the same thing when I give you piggy-back rides around the house. Your laugh is adorable.

A few days ago we took a walking trip at Grandma Joan's suggestion and we went up the street to see where the storm drain water comes from. When we walk around the block there's a storm drain that almost always has water running through it, and Grandma Joan thought it would be fun to go see the gully it comes from. There is a gully above us a little to the south, and the water it collects runs through an open stream in a neighbor's backyard before going under the sidewalk, down the storm drain and disappearing. We never made it past the neighbor's house, because you were so thrilled with the stream. We kept trying to drop little things that float into the stream so we could watch them go under the sidewalk and pop out the other side. We never quite made it work, but you were totally thrilled with it. The neighbor also has a playground in the back yard, so you had fun going down the slide too.

At another time in the past few weeks, we went downtown to see the Church's art competition entries in the Conference Center. Your Mama and I liked that a lot, but you and Sophie were not as entertained. So we took a walk over to Trax and rode the train to the Intermodal Center, which is where Trax connects with FrontRunner and Amtrak and Greyhound. That was kind of a fun trip, and you got to ride the train and see a couple FrontRunner trains as well. I had a fear of public transportation when I was growing up, just because I didn't understand the maps and schedules associated with the buses. I love public transportation now, and I hope you learn to love it much earlier than I did.

When we're not out running around and exploring things, you love to read books at home. To me, that's a great way to continue exploring your world, learning about things you may not be able to do or places you may not get a chance to go. The challenge for me lately is that it's hard to make the time to read you all the books you want to read. And it's not very fun to read you the same books over and over like you want. You're pretty good about picking different books, but you still want to read a lot of books, which is more than we have time for. But I do like to read books to you. I love that you get all snuggly when we read together, and I really do love that you want to read books so much. I think once you figure out how to read on your own, you'll disappear into a book and we won't hear from you for long stretches of time. I can't wait to walk down the hall someday and find you reading to yourself in your room.

I love you, Jonah. I'm working hard to create experiences where you will feel loved, and feel the Spirit. I know that your Mama and I will need to deliberately create that kind of environment for you as often as we can, to help you find an anchor in all the trials and difficulties you will face growing up. We're learning how to be good parents, at the same time we want you to learn how to be a responsible, independent person. Remember that we love you with all our hearts.

Love,

Daddy

The world is filled with narrations now. Your speaking skills have progressed to the point that you can describe just about anything you see. And you do. All the time. And you still absorb words like crazy. We went to Yellowstone National Park two weeks ago, and there were lots of new things there for you to see. We stayed in a condo that was run much like a hotel, and we were in room 303. While we were there we called Grandma Joan and Grandma Moon a few times, and you just had to tell them we had "the room called free-oh-free". You learned how to find our room by looking at the numbers, and not just knowing where it is in the hall. And while we were in the park, there were all sorts of things for you to narrate. You told stories about the steam and the "smoke" and all the animals, and you mixed it all in with your Thomas the Tank Engine vocabulary and put trains in your stories too.

As you're absorbing language, we're noticing how careful we have to be about what we say now. Your favorite phrase alternates between "Dang it!" and "Darn it all!" I think your mother's to blame for the one, and I'm at fault for the other. Those really aren't so bad, but we're especially glad we don't swear, even if we might want to sometimes. The next step is to increase your exposure to religious terminology. I absolutely LOVE helping you with your prayers and saying something about testimony in it. I have to wait until the end of the prayer though, because I can barely keep from cracking up when you say, "test-a-mommy." I'm probably too irreverent in that, but hey, you're only a kid for so long, and I'll miss these kinds of things when you don't say them anymore.

You are definitely still testing your Mommy, and your Daddy too. You are so defiant about so many things. What to eat, where to eat it, which fork you can use, what you want to drink, and which cup it ought to go in, etc. And you strongly resist getting in the tub at the end of the day, or doing pretty much anything that signals bedtime. But still, when you finally get in bed, you do pretty well at staying there. That's a welcome change from popping out of bed every 2 minutes just because you can.

Well, I have to say you are still quite a challenge, but I suppose that will be true for a very long time. But I love you, lots and lots. I love reading books with you, partly because I'm glad you like reading, and partly because I love that you snuggle up to me. I love your laugh, still. I've never heard anything like it, and it's hilarious. I love taking walks with you, and going to the park with you, and swimming with you, and taking you with me to run errands. You are really a lot of fun.

Love,

Daddy

Jonah, you are engaged in the final lap in the race against toddlerhood: potty training! Pretty soon you will step fully into the realm of "kid", and leave "toddler" behind for Sophie. She's hot on your heels, of course, but I'm so proud of how far you've come. You are very good at knowing when you need to use the potty, and have even become decent at doing all of the clothing wrangling and hand washing yourself. You've taken on the responsibility yourself. I can't tell you what a relief that is to your Mama and I. You still need to figure out the pooping part, but you stay dry all night, and all day. It's absolutely amazing.

I've been watching how well you understand the relationship between your actions and the consequences that follow. You're asserting your reasoning skills more and more over the emotional irrationality characteristic of younger kids. I'm impressed with how well-behaved you are, and how well you reason things out. I would love to get you to verbalize a little more though. You've taken to using "I don't know" as an answer to any kind of thinking question. But I can't complain too much, because you really do understand what's going on now, and how the rules of our home apply to you.

And there are still the narratives. You have a wonderful imagination. You love to enact things from the Thomas the Tank Engine world, or pretend you're driving a motorcycle like in the game we play on my computer. Sometimes it takes me a while to get where you're coming from, but your memory is so good and you have such a large vocabulary.

Some of your vocabulary is just off enough to be really funny though. A coworker of mine gave me some toy binoculars, which I gave to you. Your first reaction was to say "Oh! These are good noculators!" I have no idea where you got that from, but it's stuck. And you call a thermometer a "mometer". I think that's because all you ever see is Mama using the thermometer, so it's a Mom-eter to you. Another funny is the way you use "sharp." Anything that's sharp becomes a "sharper", and you sometimes tell Sophie, "Be careful, try not to get sharped," by whatever object she might be interested in. And of course, as I mentioned before, I can't help but laugh at "test-a-mommy."

I love that you are still a snuggly kid. I love spending time holding you. In some ways you're so grown up, and in other's you're still such a cute kid. It's difficult to reconcile those two images of you, and I would guess that's the cause of a lot of the arguments we have. Sometimes I think your Mama and I treat you as a kid in areas where you feel a lot more grown up, and then sometimes we demand grown-up abilities and actions from you in areas where you're still learning. But I'm glad you still know we love you. You are always so excited to see me come home from work. And on long weekends when I'm around a lot, sometimes Mama can get away from the house a little more and do what she wants to do. After you've spent a day or so with me, you'll start looking for Mama, just to check on her. "I wanna go see Mama." We both love you very much.

Keep up the good work with your potty training. You're doing wonderfully so far. And when it's hard, just remember I still love you.

Love,

Daddy

I've officially missed a month now. I'm writing this on your birthday, although I'm still going to post it with a July date. I still want to write you two letters, because I figure that by the time you read this, you'll notice that I have a letter for every month more than you'll notice what day I actually wrote it.

We took a vacation to New Mexico this month for the Easter Family Reunion (Papa's mother's family), and you loved it. We drove 1500 miles over 7 days, which made me very worried that you and Sophie were going to go crazy in the car. But you both handled it VERY well. I was very impressed, and very relieved. It was such a fun vacation. We did a lot of things that your Mama and I might have done on our own, but they were made that much more meaningful because we knew you'd like them so much. We stopped in Durango on the way down and saw the train station there, which you loved. Mama took a ride on that train when she was really little, and we want to go back and ride it with you too.

We walked you all over Santa Fe for five hours, and I'm surprised you took that so well. That was probably the most boring part of the trip for you. But your Mama and I thought it was amazing to see all those old buildings down there. Then we took you to the Santa Fe Children's Museum, and you had a blast. I found it really funny that your favorite part was the "my-size door" at the entrance. You kept wanting to run away from us, to go back and walk through that door again and again.

We rode the Sandia Peak tram on the way down to Albuquerque, and you loved that too. As we watched the tram come down the mountain, you said, "Oh, it's flying! It's going to land here! That's a good tram." I had to laugh. You loved the ride, and you were glued to the railing watching the trams come and go. We also stopped at the Balloon Museum just outside of Albuquerque, and you played a lot with the balloon models that went up and down on a little rail of sorts. We also had fun in the balloon simulator.

At the Easter Reunion you met Gracie, Mama's cousin's little girl. She was thrilled to have someone her age to play with, and ran around giving you hugs for the first while. You ate together, played together, and generally had a good time. She had her bike in the campground, and you liked riding that around too, although you got mad when Gracie wanted to ride it. Sharing is still a struggle.

We made a couple stops on the way home, but generally drove as fast as we could straight through. On the last day you and Sophie amazed me again, as we drove a straight 5 hours home without anyone going ballistic. It was such a good vacation.

I loved spending so much time with you and building our relationship up so much. You love having your Daddy around, even if I think you're crazy for it. You always ask me at night if I'm going to be there in the morning. And when you wake up you ask Mama where I am. If I'm home, you immediately go get out the Grape Nuts and want to eat breakfast out of my bowl. I love this snuggly stage. I also love watching you learn new words and ideas. Your imagination has taken off and you're always making up stories about your cars and trains. I also love teaching you scripture stories and gospel principles. You learn so quickly. I love you, kiddo. Next up, your birthday letter.

Love,

Daddy

Another year has gone by, Kiddo. And it's been a crazy one, for sure. For one, we've all been to see way too many doctors and hospitals. Your Mama and I have had some crazy medical adventures, and I'll be happy to not do that again in this next year. Another big note for this past year is that we've been on quite a few vacations, which is a nice change from being tied to the house and yard projects. We still have some of those, but not nearly so many.

You've changed quite a bit over the past year as well, and I'm not sure where to start. I notice you will sit still for books now, and you are really interested in what's in the book, instead of seeing it as a toy. I think the influence of preschool and your Primary class at church is showing, in that you'll sit and listen to the lessons in Family Home Evening, and have a much better attention span. Next year we'll be sending you off to Kindergarten, and that's a pretty scary thought. I think you'll do wonderfully but it does make me feel sort of old, and as always I wonder if I'll be able to keep up with you, especially as you soak up so many different things from school. We get a taste of that this year as you will be attending public preschool. I think it'll be really good for you. You're the oldest child, and as yet your only real competition is Sophie, and you're bigger than she is. At preschool it will be a different story. It'll be good for you to really learn to share, and interact with other kids your age.

You've learned to interact with the computer already. You already know your alphabet and numbers up to 10, and Starfall.com is teaching you to read short words. I love how you just absorb that kind of stuff. And when you call me on the phone at work, you have intelligible things to say, and you sound so grown up. You can find your Grandma Joan's number in the phone's memory and call her, and you like talking on the phone to people. Mama says you can do basic math already too. The other day you said you wanted six of something, and you counted, "One, two, three, four." Then Mama asked you how many more you needed and you immediately said, "Two."

I love that you have a mind and will of your own, and can reason and learn, but I can still pick you up and snuggle you. And you like snuggling. You have so much potential packed into such a small space. Every time I tell you no for something, or make you do something "my way", I worry about squashing your ambition. I know I may not be very good at it, but I try to make sure I'm teaching you the why behind what we're doing, and encouraging you to choose the better way on your own. I'm not a good teacher, but I still want you to learn independence and build good reasoning skills. Your Mama has an incredible quality she calls common sense, which I'm hoping you get large doses of. I call it common sense too, but I think it's simply thinking things through all the way to the end result. It really is a rare quality in today's world. I'm not that good at it, but your Mama is superb. Pay attention to that as you grow up, and internalize it. It will take you far.

I'm thrilled for all the new experiences you'll have this next year. I love you so much.

Love,

Daddy

Wow, Jonah, you've started preschool. It's a weird feeling having my own kid in school. We won't have you at home all the time anymore. And you'll be learning a lot of new things from all sorts of people. Of course you'll be learning good things from your teachers, and being around other kids your age will teach you a lot. But there will also be not-so-good things that you bring home from the school environment. It will be interesting to try to guide you through the academic and social parts of life that are just starting for you now. It's just a whole new world. I think you'll like it, but you also need to be careful.

You've started to be a lot more responsible for things lately. You will do everything to use the potty by yourself, although you still want your Mama or I to stand in the bathroom with you. When we ask you to, you will clean up your toys readily, which is a big help to us. You remember all the steps of your normal routines, and you will remind us when we forget one or two.

Along with the responsibility, you are still a pretty stubborn boy. If we give you enough warning about the way things will be, you're generally ok with it. But if you come up with your own idea, like having a treat before you go to sleep, or having a treat before you use the potty, or having a treat pretty much any time you want one, we usually tell you no, and you don't like that one bit. You still like to yell, and you whine a lot. But a lot of the time when we point it out, you stop. Even if you're stubborn, you're still pretty well behaved. That's amazing to me.

Just this past week, your Primary teacher, Brother Spencer, passed away. That's been a difficult thing for us and the rest of the ward to handle. You seem to take it pretty well when we tell you he's gone to be with Heavenly Father, and at times like this I'm kind of glad you're so young. Now you've had two people fairly close to you pass away. When "Grandpa" Del Bigler died, there were lots of flashing lights, a fire truck, and an ambulance. You remember those the most. I don't know what you'll remember of this, other than having a new teacher. But when you read this letter later, I want you to know that your Mama and I worried about how this would affect you, and we worried a lot about Sister Spencer. It's going to be very hard for her to heal from this.

Next week is your first Primary program in church. You've been given one line to speak, and I'm pretty sure you know it well. When your turn comes around, you're supposed to say, "My Daddy helps me." Today when we asked you about how the practice went, you told us your line, and then added, "and Mama doesn't." We cracked up over that. If you say that in church next week, we'll never let you live it down.

Your Mama and I love you very much. I'm excited for what you'll learn in preschool, and I love that you get to take part in the Primary program for the next several years. When these big milestones come around, I wonder how the past 4 years could have gone so fast. I'm not sad about how much you've grown and how fast you're still growing. But I do wish you could be little a while longer. I love you.

Love,

Daddy

I'm going to avoid talking about potty training in this letter, because I know the lack of progress we're experiencing right now will seem so inconsequential when we read this letter later. Or at least I can hope, right?

I forgot a bunch of your funny sayings in my last letter, so you get a whole bunch this time. I love how your brain connects things that aren't quite right, but make so much sense in your little kid world.

I took you and Sophie to stay at my parents house one weekend towards the end of August. That was a really neat experience. I liked being with you all the time, and it was good for Mama to have some time off too. At night you and I shared a bed, and Sophie slept in the portable playpen/crib at the foot of the bed. I had my cell phone with me, of course, and I would talk to Mama at least each night. The first night we were there, Thursday, we had all climbed in bed and I was talking to Mama on the phone. I remember asking you if you wanted to talk to her, and you said no. Then you rolled away from me and stuck your thumb in your mouth. I kept talking to Mama, and after a while you rolled back towards me and said in a grumpy voice, "Go to sleep, Daddy." I thought it was very funny, because you're usually the one awake late, and we're trying to get you to go to bed.

On Friday Mama and I went on a date in the evening. I took her back home, and stayed there a little while before coming back to climb in bed with you. When I did get back just after 11:00 PM, everyone in the house was asleep except my little Jonah who had lights on all over the house and was downstairs playing with toys. Silly kid.

The next day was Saturday, and I took you and Sophie down to Provo for a Moon Family Reunion. You had a blast there with the bikes and toys. We had lunch there, and of course all you really wanted to eat were chips. So of course you finished your meal before everyone else, and ran off to play in the field with a bat and ball. Well, before I finished eating, you let out a scream and came running to me holding your ear. You got a bee sting! I was pretty nervous at first, because who knows if you'd be allergic to that or something, but you were fine. You're such a healthy kid, and I'm very grateful for that.

Earlier this month I was getting dressed up for something, and I put on my new yellow tie with Chinese characters on it. I was standing in front of the mirror adjusting it when you came out of your room and told me that tie was gorgeous. How do you know a word like that? And do you really understand what it means? I suspect you don't really know, but it sounds so funny coming from you.

I got to drop you off at preschool about that same time, and when we opened your locker to put your jacket in, you told me there was a hooker in there, to hang your jacket on. Yeah. I'll let you figure that one out when you're ready.

You also like to play make-believe games now. You like to eat pretend Grape-Nuts with me in the pretend morning, which could be any time of day. And you like to pretend to be knocking on my door. I ask, "Who is it?" And you tell me to open the door and see. I say I don't open the door until I know who's there, and I don't have a peephole to look through, so you have to tell me. The first time I said that, you told me, "But the peoples are home, so you have them now." Another time you said, "But Sophie is here. She's a people for you."

So, because I'm a little late in writing this letter, I get to write about going to preschool with you on Monday of this week. I had the day off from work, so I volunteered in your class. It was a blast. I thought it was great to watch you and all your classmates learning how to follow the teacher and be in school. At first all the kids looked at me funny, I'm sure because I'm so tall. But when they saw that I was pretty friendly, they latched onto me like crazy. When we first got to class, the teacher had paper and pencils out for you to practice writing "1"s. One of your classmates wrote a few ones, and then turned his paper over and drew a big oval shape. He told me it was my head, and it was big. Then he drew two lines out from my "head", like legs, and said something that sounded very much like, "biddy dumpings." I tried and tried to figure out what he was saying, but I couldn't get it. Another kid wanted me to make a paper airplane, like his daddy does. So I made one, the way I always have, and he was so excited because it was just like his daddy makes them. One girl carried around a magnifying glass for a long time, fascinated by how it made things bigger. She kept coming up to me and telling me all the things that were bigger. We sang songs, talked about the Fall season, and went to the library and had a book read to us. It was a lot of fun. I was glad I could go. Most of all, I loved seeing you behave so well. You paid attention to the teacher, didn't pester anyone, kept your hands to yourself, and followed along really well. I think it's amazing you're already going to school. I don't feel that old. It's a nostalgic thing for me to remember my first days of school and all the things I learned about how to interact with other kids and my teachers. I'm excited for you to learn all those things, and it's fascinating to watch. You're REALLY not our little Jonah anymore.

I love you, Kiddo. I still find it amazing that every night you ask if I'll be there in the morning, and you get so excited when you can eat Grape-Nuts with me. You like knowing where I am and you love when I come home. I hope I can live up to the hero you see in me. And I hope I can help you learn to reach your full potential.

Love,

Daddy

My last letter ended on Grape-Nuts, and this one will start with it. We recently switched out of Daylight Savings Time, which means you and Sophie wake up at an earlier hour on the clock. But still, I get up at 5:00 and go out the door at 6:00, so I should still be able to do that while you're still sleeping. One of the first nights this last week you came out of your room at 5:30. It's a little funny when you do that, because you hang around out in the hall while I'm in the bathroom. You don't want to come in because it's too bright. So I hear you wandering around outside the door, and then I come out and you talk to me. I asked you this time why you were awake so early, and you said, "I didn't want to miss Grape-Nuts with you." Silly kid. I'm impressed that you value eating breakfast with me.

Apparently you like having me around. You're always asking if I'll be home in the morning, and whenever I go somewhere you tell me, "Don't take too long." And the once when I went down to a rehearsal in the evening you told me to tell the guy that waves his arms around that I can't take too long tonight. Sometimes you call me at work to tell me that too. I love when you call me at work. You called recently when I wasn't able to answer the phone. When I went to retrieve the message you left, it said, "Daddy? Daddy? Don't take too long at work, OK? You need to come home."

Again, you have some instances where you say the funniest things. Mama took you and Sophie to Costco, and Sophie wanted to stand up in the cart. Mama told her to sit down, because she didn't want her to fall and break her "punkin head." You looked at Mama funny, and said, "Sophie doesn't have a pumpkin head!" And a little while ago you had the salad tongs out and were trying to use them to pick up one of your plastic forks. It wasn't going so well, but you continued to narrate, talking about the builders that were moving the fork with their "crane" and what a hard time they were having getting it moved. Finally you got the spoon to stay in the tongs, and moved it over to your bowl. While you were moving it, you narrated, "And impossumly, they did it." I really had to laugh at that one.

We went to the Ward Trunk or Treat a week ago, and I think you're starting to understand what trick-or-treating is. But only just. Mama walked you and Sophie around the loop of cars while I stayed at our car to hand out goodies. She said you made it about to the end of the one line of cars, and then you and Sophie were done. We left the church and went back to Grandma Joan's, where you got to eat a bunch of your candy. Later that night you complained about your tummy not feeling good, and you ended up throwing up in your room. I felt so bad for you. You haven't thrown up for a while, and it's hard to watch you be so miserable.

But on a happier note, you pooped in the potty a few times this month! We're all very excited about that. You still have times when you pee your pants, and you poop in your pants much more often than not, but it's progress. I still think that when you're 16 and giving us grief for all sorts of things, I'm going to be so tempted to tell you, "Hey, we potty trained you. Nothing you do now can hold a candle to that." It's been such a hard experience on both sides. We're learning how to encourage you without being overbearing (with not nearly as much success as we'd like), and I keep hoping you're learning what it feels like to need to use the potty. There are times you'll decide you need to pee, but we still have to shepherd you into the bathroom a lot, when you're not willing to go but badly need it. Someday this will all click, and I can stop writing about it in these letters. OK?

I love you, kiddo. Lots.

Love,

Daddy

Let's just get straight to the crack-me-up Jonah sayings this time, shall we? You and Sophie have taken to opening the utensil drawers and pulling things out to play with. It's always funny to hear you call them the "salad pickers". One day when you had gotten all your clothes off for bath time, I was drumming on your tummy and your back a little. When you got in the tub and I went to turn on the water, you started slapping your side and saying, "I'm banging on my hippies!" Another night you wanted me to read you a fairy tale, and you asked for "Red Ride Hoodie." Mama has a hoodie jacket, and you've heard her call it that a lot. We made granola bars this past month, and when I cut one out of the pan to put in my lunch, you said, "That one's fiver one big!" Grandma Joan always has Fiber One granola bars at her house, and you call them "Fiver One bars." Another time I let you do your Starfall.com games on the computer downstairs, and I came in to hear you saying, "The octopus can jiggle orangees." There was an octopus juggling oranges on the screen. You get so close sometimes, and other times you come out with words we have no idea where you learned. You told an older gentleman at Target that he could come find you in the shoe aisle tomorrow. Where did you learn "aisle"? You told Mama that one of the orange traffic barrels ( you call them cones) was flattened. And I don't remember the context but you've used the word britches before. You have an amazing vocabulary. I think I heard someone say that you learn an average of two words per hour at your age. I can believe it. Another time you told Mama that you know when Daddy drives his car home, because when the garage door opens the house crumbles.

And my favorite this month? You were in the tub scooping up water in a cup and holding it way up and pouring it out. You said it was falling down and dying. I asked you if you thought water was alive, and you said yes. Then I asked what made you think the water was alive, and you said, "Because it has a brain that it can go down."

We've finished another year. And again, you've grown a lot, in spite of your parents. There are a lot of times I want to apologize to you for making you the guinea pig for our parenting. Your Mama and I are doing our best, but most of the time we feel like that's not very good. We learn from you as much as you learn from us. And we're just hoping you don't come out with too many scars from the process, physical or otherwise. Your Mama and I have spent a lot of time getting our home straightened out this year, and we hope things will improve a lot this next year. There is always a lot of work to do, and new things to figure out. But we both feel like we've not been very good parents this year, and we want to do better in the future.

You really are such a good kid. I'm glad for all the vacations we took this year, and all the fun things we've done. We plan on having just as much fun next year.

I hope you know I love you. I also hope you can see that family is very important to me. I want to be a better Daddy for you. I'm too strict. It's what I grew up with, and I have to learn to be different than that. I'm glad you still love me, and want to eat Grape Nuts with me all the time. I'm glad you like going places with me. I especially love putting you in bed and talking to you about what's going to happen tomorrow. After the Christmas concerts this year, I've really enjoyed being home in the evenings with you, and spending a little more time with you. I'm excited to spend time with you this next year.

Love,

Daddy

Your imagination has really taken off lately. You like to put our green leather chairs up on the couch and pretend you're in a boat or on a train. You'll pretend you're a dog sometimes, or a cat sometimes. You like being a train gate, and making us all wait to go through the gate until the train has gone by. Sometimes Sophie gets pretty mad at that. She doesn't appreciate the spontaneity of the idea.

The other item of note is that you can read quite a bit now. It's surprising sometimes to hear what you can read. You like finding the Exit signs in whatever store we might be in. Aunt Holly gave us a binder with Family Home Evening lessons in it for Christmas, and Mama asked you what it said on the front. You read the whole thing. "Family Home Evening Lessons for a Year." We were all pretty surprised at that. You love having us read books to you, and your attention span is getting better and better. Grandma Joan says you're ready for something like "Charlotte's Web" soon. It will be fun to start reading chapter books with you. I am so excited to see you fall into books. I'm excited for you to go to kindergarten later this year, and bring things home to read. I wish I had more time to read now. I remember one day in Junior High my teacher gave us Ender's Game as reading for the next several weeks, and I took it home and couldn't put it down until I'd finished it that evening. I think I read it 3 or 4 times in those several weeks. I also remember the compilation books we had for reading in Elementary school. I loved those stories, and I was always several stories ahead of the class. Your Mama loves books just as much if not more than I do. I think you're doomed, really, but if we've doomed you to a life of loving books, I think there are worse things we could do as parents.

You are still coming up with funny little sayings. Just tonight when you brushed your teeth, I let you rinse three times. You wanted four times, and got mad at me when I stopped at three. You said, "Well, if I don't get four times then I'll be grumpy when I come back from Jesus!" We have no idea what you meant there. But you had such the look of consternation.

I'm glad you're learning about spiritual things. I hope we can feed you enough information and spiritual experiences to guide you as we should. I also hope we're not too overbearing. I think we'll lean more toward the overbearing side, and that will be our challenge. Remember that we love you, always. I've said that before, and I'm sure I'll say it many more times. I love you lots and lots, kiddo.

I'm still excited about all the fun things we get to do this year. I hope you remember the good experiences for a long time.

Love,

Daddy