Letters

Dear Sophia,

I found a friend's blog today where he formatted his entries as letters to his kids.  I think that's a great idea.  I don't write in my journal nearly as much as your mother does, and we're both afraid that will mean when we're gone you and your kids will only know her, and not me.  So I'm going to write to you as regularly as I can and try to express my feelings, so that you will have tangible evidence of my love for you. 

It's almost the end of the year.  If you were to ask me, I think the biggest impact on our year was moving to a new home.  Jonah may keep some memories of our other home, but you never knew it as home.  I'm not sad we moved.  I'm not sad you won't remember the other home.  It let us try some things out, find out how much we could do, and now we get a chance to do more things right than we did there.  We've worked like crazy this year, getting the house ready for your grand entrance into the world.  It wasn't quite done when you arrived, but it was close.  Now we're winding down and starting to turn our thoughts outside to the yard.  But the impact of a new home is still affecting us every day.  Jonah loves to look out the window and watch Grandma and Papa come and go.  We love knowing when they're home too.  Jonah has learned to hold our hand when he crosses the street, which I hope he'll teach you too.

The other large impact our new house has on our lives is in my wallet.  You won't understand this for a long time, but we're out of money.  Completely.  We're really having to think about our situation now.  Your mother has long been better suited for that than I have, but I'm learning.  I'm learning how to be serious and committed to things.  Your mother has been trying to get that through my head for a long time.  I think as I improve in my handling of financial matters, many other things will improve as side-effects. 

So that's the setting of life that you've come into.  And you've had a big impact too!  We all love you tons.  I'm especially thrilled that you've learned to smile, and you almost laugh outright.  I was warned before you were born that pretty soon you'd have me wrapped around your little finger.  So true!  I love your smile.  I love your chubby snuggly-ness.  I love how you light up when you see people.  And I LOVE holding you and watching you fall asleep.  I feel like you're here to put lasting light into people's lives, and you're certainly getting off to a good start.  I love Jonah too, and before you were born I wondered if I would have room to love someone else so deeply.  But there was room for your mother first, then there was more room for Jonah, and now there's lots and lots of room for you too.  Some of my favorite moments are when Jonah comes over to you and you smile at each other.  He loves you too. 

I'm excited to watch you learn things.  Soon you'll be reaching out and grabbing things, growing teeth, and really laughing.  What fun!

Well, here's my first letter.  I'll write again, I promise

 

Love,

Your Daddy

Dear Jonah,

I am freshly amazed every day by how much you've grown, and how fast you're learning.  Yesterday you spent the evening with Grandma and Grandpa Moon, while Mom and Dad went to the temple for their anniversary.  Thank you for being so good when you're away from us.  You are always so well behaved.  I love you. 

You spent the whole evening bouncing from one toy to the next, but when I was there, you were playing only with the marble track set.  Grandma said you thought the marbles were candy.  That's a little scary.  But when you were told they were just little balls, you were OK with that.  That's a good thing.  I don't want you choking, especially when Mom and I are gone. 

You've discovered candy!  I'm sure you'll think we're super mean when we don't give you candy all the time, but you have many many years ahead of you to enjoy sugar, and it's not good for you to have too much when you're young.  There is too much sugar in the world today, and it does bad things to your body.  There are lots of other things that do bad things to your body as well, and the United States seems to overindulge in all of them.  So, we're going to look like mean parents when we tell you 'no' to things that other parents don't.  Just get used to it.  You'll be better off in the long run.

In my office at work I have a picture frame you gave me for Father's Day in 2006 (we think).  Mom gives me new pictures every so often to put in it.  I love having pictures of you at work.  You're so cute.

This particular picture is one of Mom's favorites.  She loves to pester me about being a geek.  I just like that I have my kids in the picture, small though it may be.  Maybe the next picture will show your faces a little better.  I'd like that.

I love coming home from work to hear you yell, "Daddy!" from some remote corner of the house.  I love listening to you put sentences together, with words and concepts that seem way beyond normal for a 2-year-old.  You've done very well with your language.  And, as Mom says, you're a "fastidious boy" like your daddy.  You have such good control of your hands and fingers.  You do things so carefully.  It's so fun to just be around you and watch and listen. 

Be a good big brother for Sophie.  Especially in the next year, when she will be learning so much.  You will be a good teacher and good example for her. 

Keep up the good learning.  We'll know you've arrived when you pop out a word like 'cauterized' out of the blue.

 

Love,

Your Daddy

Dear Sophia,

I'm not so sure how long the "Sophie Bean" nickname will last, but I like it.  When you go to sleep, we wrap you up in your blanket so tightly, so you won't run your hands up into your face and wake up.  Your mom calls it a Sophie Burrito.  So I started calling you my Sophie Bean.  It's not flattering, which is why it may not last long.

I wrote you a letter last night for Christmas/New Years.  I was a little late, but not too bad.  When I got to work today, I reread the last letter I wrote you, and realized I said many of the same things in both letters.  I guess that's ok.  I am trying to say new things every time I write.

When you smile at me, ball up your fists, squish your arms up next to your face in delight, and giggle, I can't help but laugh.  You are the cutest little girl ever.  You have started to drool a lot.  We put bibs on you regularly now.  Usually lots of drooling means little teeth are coming.  It's hard to believe you could get any cuter, but I think those first two bottom teeth will do it. 

You reached out and grabbed my thumb recently.  I think it was more of an accident than a serious development, but it's coming.  I can see that you wave your hands around more.  When I pick you up, sometimes you get startled, and you inadvertently slap my cheek with your open hand and outstretched arm.  And I think you're almost there with learning how to put your hand in your mouth when nobody's around to replace your binky. 

Your deep blue eyes are so bright and intelligent, sometimes I think you're just going to burst out in full sentences any day now.  You certainly have more to say than Jonah did at your age.  I love that you start talking to me as soon as you see me.  You have a sweet little voice. 

The new experience with you, that we didn't have with Jonah, is the anticipation of knowing what's coming next and watching you to see when it happens.  When Jonah got teeth, it was Grandma Betts that saw it first.  When Jonah learned to suck his thumb, it was a heaven-sent blessing.  It was a surprise to us when Jonah grew out of his first car seat (which I think you're about to do as well).  But we get to watch you with a better idea of what's coming next.  I think we can enjoy the little milestones better that way. 

I love you, Sophie.  You've created a very special place for yourself in our lives.  You're an amazing little girl.

 

Love,

Daddy

Dear Jonah,

"Are you cute?"  "Yes.  I'm cute."  I guess we're OK as long as that doesn't go to your head.

You are such an amazing kid.  I got to spend the evening with you tonight, while Mama and Sophie went down to the church.  You have the perfect balance between desire to run around recklessly, and desire to snuggle with your Daddy.  I love the relationship we have.  I've said it before, and I'll say it again.  I hope this relationship never ends. 

We watched some of our old video clips of you when you were younger.  You've come a very long way in just two years.  I had to laugh at the clip of you pushing one of Grandma's chairs across their newly finished floor, collapsing into a momentary cry of frustration when you hit the wall.  You figuring out how to move around is one of the most interesting documentaries I've ever seen.  The psychology plays into it just as much as the physical development.  You didn't try walking on your own until you saw lots of cousins doing it all at once.  You didn't have the confidence until then.  Now you run zigzags down the hall, scrunch up your "hurry" arms, and flail your legs around if you want. 

You can also play catch with me!  I'm amazed every time I see you catch a ball that I've thrown at you.  That's some real coordination.  And you're a good throw when you want to be. 

I love that the simple things entertain you so well.  You could run laps and play catch all day long, and not be bored.  And I could watch your cute little 2-year-old run for a very long time. 

Keep it up!

 

Love,

Daddy

You're learning so much!  You've learned to reach out and grab things!  Your favorite thing to grab is your binky.  You pull it up to your mouth and gnaw on it quite a bit.  Every now and then you get it in your mouth the right way.  And when you're in your saucer you play with all the toys.  Some of the things you do are the same kinds of things that Jonah used to do.  He used to chew on the dragon puppet just like you, and he was also thrilled with the "slot machine" toy.

I will never get over the way you grin like crazy, and flirt exceptionally well.  You know your Daddy can be charmed so easily.  I love your smile, still.  I love the way your whole being lights up when you smile and get excited.  I love that you're ticklish, and we share some good laughs when I change your diaper.  Here's a picture of you "lit up" too much to hold still:

You're eating food now!  You don't seem like you like it too much just yet, but that will come.  It's amazing that you're already at this point.  Pretty soon you'll be mobile.  That will give Jonah a challenge.  You also like to talk a lot.  When your Mom and I are talking, you join in our conversations.  It makes me wonder how much you'll have to say later on.  Will you have strong opinions like your mother?  Will you think your Daddy is hopelessly silly?  Will you call your Daddy at work, just to tell him stories? 

I'm still waiting for your teeth to pop out, little girl.  It's the only thing that will make your precious grin any cuter. 

I love you, sweetie. 

Love,

Your Daddy

I am amazed at your mental development recently.  You can put action and consequence together, and decide what actions you will take based on the consequences you want.  That's a huge step.  And right along with that, you have a very strong sense of what you want.  Now we just have to work with you on yelling about it. 

Mom says you think "share" is a one-way deal.  Other kids must give you their toys.  I just think it's awesome that you can learn these things now.  You have come so far in two years, but there is still so much to learn.  I'm glad we've put scripture reading and praying into our routine though.  Those are important things to learn.  I'm glad you like going to church too.  Even if we have to sit in the foyer for most of Sacrament Meeting.

 

We're heading into the time when you learn your limits in so many ways.  You have split your head open for the second time, and need to learn your physical limits.  You can only run safely for so long, then you get too tired to balance well.  There are also limits to how far you can push your parents.  Some days it seems like you spend a lot of time in your bed, because you want to push all our buttons at once.  But you are generally so well behaved, it's a joy being your parent.  You do learn quickly.  One of my favorite moments is when you want to throw something, but you know I've told you not to.  You pause, give me this scowl, and throw it anyway, knowing that I'm going to put you in your bed for it.  It's ok, because Daddies have to be tested every day, to see if the policies have changed, right?  I'm not the best at consistency, but you're certainly giving me lessons. 

I am absolutely thrilled every time I answer my phone and you're on the other end.  "Hi Daddy," just lights up my day.  I love to hear you tell me stories.  I love when you say something I don't understand, because my brain goes into overtime trying to figure out what you might be saying.  You told me this morning you were turning the egg on and off.  I was stumped trying to figure out what context this might be coming from.  Who knows what's going on in your head?  It makes the "Aha" moment that much better when we've spent a little effort trying to figure you out. 

You really do light up my life.  It's so much fun being your Daddy.  I can't resist when you tell me you need a tickle, and run away when I chase you.  And your "Magic Word, Please?" and "Thank you," are so endearing. 

I love you, kiddo

Love,

 

Your Daddy

Dear Jonah Copycat,

I know I should be writing a letter to your sister before I write you again, but as I went to write today, I noticed it's the 11th.  You were born on the 11th of August.  I decided it would be a good way to keep myself writing if I wrote to each of you at least on your birth date each month.  Sorry Sophie, you'll have to wait a week.

We're on Daylight Savings Time again.  That's never a friendly time for little kids.  You've always been one to go to bed fairly late.  That certainly doesn't help things for us right now.  But I suppose we've made our own bed, as much as we don't get to sleep in it much.  We're attempting to move your bedtime up as the days go by, and sometimes we're reasonably successful.  But I have no doubts that's just because you're baiting us into thinking we have some measure of control in the house. 

We took you out to my parents' house last week so you could stay the night.  You surprised my Mom with your obedience.  She told you to finish your sandwich before you could have any chocolate, and you threw your usual short-lived hissy-fit, and then ran off to play.  But it was CHOCOLATE.  No way you're going to leave that alone.  After a few minutes when my Mom turned around again, she saw you eating the chocolate you had coveted so much.  She was about to say something, but then checked to see if your sandwich was still on the table.  It was gone.  Chocolate is that good. 

And now for the reasoning behind my salutation in this letter.  You have this uncanny knack for repeating one side of a conversation as it's happening.  This is especially trying during phone conversations.  Often the party on the other end is left trying to figure out why the perfectly sane adult on our end is choking back laughter.  Did they say something wrong?  In another sense, you provide the perfect object lesson for watching our tongues.  When we hear the phrase "gay marriage" come out of your mouth, it creates that peculiar mixture of horror and hilarity that only a parent can know.  You have no clue what you're saying, but hey, it sure makes Mommy and Daddy giggle. 

The past few days have shown us just a little of what must be called the "Terrible Twos" by those not fortunate enough to have you as a child.  You've been miserable for days, and it's surprising that one hour's change in time can tweak your emotional state so badly.  I don't know that we've changed the amount of attention you get, or any other of those precarious balances that are supposed to keep you ticking without exploding.  So it must be the time change.  But the blessing in this situation is that Daylight Savings heralds warmer weather.  All little boys love warm weather and playing outside.  There's nothing like a good romp to wear you out and set your clock straight.

I love you,

Love,


Your Daddy

It's when I wake up to your anxious complaints in the morning and find you wedged into the top corner of your crib that I realize how quickly you're growing.  I think you know you can move, but you can't control it yet.  When you lay on your back on the floor, you turn in circles kicking your legs.  And unless you get distracted and jerk that big heavy head around, you can sit up on your own pretty well.  If someone's holding your legs, you do even better.  Except that you've decided your chubby thighs are ticklish.  

You're quite the determined little lady.  When you see something interesting in range, you almost fixate on it, and bend WAY over to reach it.  You have a near-automatic reach and grab reaction, which sometimes leaves you with green beans in your hair, squash up your nose, and a wide orange ring around your mouth.  It's so cute when you grab things, even if it's a loaded spoon headed in the general direction of your mouth.  

I can tell you're starting to feel the mobility bug.  When you've been in your chair too long, you start to treat it like a bucking bronco, making us think you're going to pop out and land on your head.  You have strong little chubby legs, enough so that when you don't want to sit down, it takes a fair bit of persuasion to get you to bend at the hip.  I think you want to move.  No more of this complacent sitting around.  You have an older brother to keep up with.

There are days when you look like a good mix between your mother's genes and mine, and then there are days when you're all Mom.  I don't know what makes the difference, really, but it's fascinating.  

We really need to figure out what to do with your hair.  It's SO cute, but SO all over the place.  Half the time you can hardly see.  And the hair on the back of your head is constantly knotted.  Mom bought some barrettes for you, and they're very cute.  None of us know how to do hair though, so you will be a learning experience for everyone.  

I'm excited for the color and brightness you bring into our home.  You are an absolute delight.  And so cute both when you're smiling and when you're mad.  I love when you get in that mood of wanting to laugh and cry at the same time.  You're so vocal.  I also love when I'm holding you at night when you're tired, and you finally decide to drop off to sleep.  You just drop right off.  I was holding you the other night, and the next thing I knew you had done a face plant into my shoulder, completely out.  Not even your brother's fits about going to bed would wake you up.  That's one of the best things about our kids.  When you decide to sleep, you're gone.  

You are so cute.  You and your brother make such a nice pair of siblings.  I hope you keep a good relationship with all of your family members.  I love you so much.

Love,

Your Daddy

I'm always amazed you're so attached to your Daddy.  For that matter, I'm amazed anyone in this family is so attached to me.  The dog loves me, you love me, Sophie loves me, and your Mama REALLY loves me.  I say 'really' because she's the only one in that sequence that should know better, but still puts up with me.  But all of you still think I'm a good Daddy, so I can't be too bad, I guess.  Mama asks you who you want to tuck you in bed at night, and you always say, "Daddy!"  When I drive home and you're standing in the window, you always light up like crazy when you see me.  When I'm out in the yard working, you always want to put your shoes on and your jacket and come out and play in the yard with me. 

And you don't just play in the yard.  You're watching what I'm doing.  Just the other day you wanted to come out, and bring our rubber hammer with you.  You actually put up a fit when I tried to get you to leave the hammer in the house.  So, I finally gave in, and as soon as you got outside you ran straight to the biggest boulder in the yard and started banging on it with your hammer.  You'd seen me and your Grandpa breaking big rocks with the sledgehammer and wanted to do what we were doing. 

I've been carrying around several cute quotes you've said, and this is a good place to put them. 

When you would fall down and hurt yourself enough to cry, we'd ask, "Are you OK?"  Pretty soon you'd fall down, and start crying and yelling, "I'm OK!!  I'm OK!!"  Or when someone else was crying (mostly Sophie) it was, "Sophie OK!!!  Sophie OK!!" in a very distressed tone.

You once got a bad enough cold we needed to get out the humidifier.  That was one or two days after you'd taken a tour of the local fire station, and saw a bunch of fire fighters.  So it was the humidifier-fighter for several days.

I had set my Palm timer for some cooking once, and put my palm back in my holster and was playing with you when it went off.  You promptly said, "Daddy beep in the pants." 

Or the other day when I was leaned over you, strapping you into your carseat.  You looked up at me with those innocent little child eyes and reached out to touch my nose.  "Daddy nose.......Daddy have eyebrows in the nose."  I'm still laughing at that one.

We've watched a lot of Signing Times with you, and you've actually learned all your alphabet signs.  For a while you wanted us to sing the ABC song from the DVD for your nighttime song.  Between verses there's this rhythm that I sing to you as, "boom boom, ch, ch, boom, boom, ch, ch."  You think it's really funny, and now you've taken to singing it yourself, except it comes out as, "bumba bunch, bumba bunch!"

You've also taken to complimenting yourself.  When you're eating your cereal, or doing some other by-yourself task, you'll say, "I doing really good!"

One of the funnier comments came when Mama was faking shock at something and said, "Oh my!"  (Think, "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!")  As soon as she said that, there was this little voice floating across the room that said, "Heck!  Oh my heck!"

"You need to finish your beans, Jonah."  "No!  I'll have only one or two."  This from a two-year-old that thinks "two" means "more than one".

Before bed one night, when you requested a drink, we went down the hall and there was my water bottle sitting on the counter, which you like to call, "Daddy water."  I got a cup out of the cupboard, and before I registered what you were saying, I had turned on the tap and started filling it up with water.  So you're comment went, (pointing at the water bottle) "Daddy water!", and then in an utterly dejected tone of voice, "...or just Jonah water...."  which I guess was what you were calling tap water.  Sorry for disappointing you.

You have a moon night light in your room, which you often request to be turned on at night while you go to sleep.  One night you said, "Turn the moon off!  So my can be warm!"  We have no idea where that came from.

My latest favorite, I'm sitting on the toilet and you come in the bathroom and say, "Oh, I thought you were in your room, now i thought you were in the potty."  Except "thought" comes out as "fought", which just makes it so much more cute.

You are an incredibly smart kid.  When you couldn't even talk, we could ask you where things were, and you would go find them.  And you weren't LOOKING for them, you remembered where they were.  When we couldn't find your sippy cup, we'd ask you where it was, and you'd get this thoughtful look on your face and then wander straight to it, hidden behind some large toy or something.  Now, you pick up words and phrases like crazy, and YOU KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN.  I'm blown away.  And just the fact that you get a concept like, "I thought you were in your room" is astounding. 

I still love to watch you play with Sophie.  She follows you like a hawk as you run around the room.  She loves to watch what you're doing, and she grins at you a lot.  I'm glad you two get along so well.  You're so good to her too.  You're very kind and gentle. 

I love you, Kiddo.  I'm very proud of my son.

Love,

Daddy

When I look into your smiling, deep blue eyes, it's hard to believe you've gone from sweet little angel to shrieking hellion and back again since I wrote you last, and STILL no teeth!  It's been a rough month for you, and we really don't know why.  It's imaginably hard for us to watch you cry, and not know why, or what we should do about it.  Your mom and I kept telling each other it was teeth.  There was really no other explanation for it.  But you never popped any teeth out.  You did stop eating solid foods for a while.  We thought that might be because you didn't want a hard spoon jarring sore gums.

The other possibility was intestinal issues.  We went on vacation to St. George and you had some serious corrosive poop.  And you'd keep on pooping even after we had opened up your diaper to change you.  When Desitin failed to keep up with you, we discovered the merits of Bag Balm.  Amazing stuff.  You've pooped like that once more since then, but it didn't last very long, and since we'd been through it before, we could handle it better, and your poor bum didn't have to take such a beating. 

You are growing so fast!  You have the most beautiful hair a 7-month-old could ever have.  And you are so aware of things.  When you're in your car seat and I lean over to unlatch you, you know what's going on and start to lean forward and wiggle your arms like you want out.  You know people's faces now, and voices too.  When you hear your Mama talking you either grin like crazy or start your anticipation whimper, depending on your hunger level.  You've learned that your Daddy likes to pick you up and play games with you. 

One difference between you and Jonah is that you like to have your neck rubbed, where Jonah is super ticklish.  When you're screaming for whatever reason, I can start rubbing your neck and you'll freeze, bend your head back, and just soak it in.  Or when you're in your saucer and I rub the back of your neck, you'll sort of melt forwards, until your head is resting on something, and then you'll just blink slowly, in total relaxation.

I love you, sweetie, more than this pitiful English language can express.  You are a miracle, just like your brother Jonah.  Our lives are brighter, sweeter, and more meaningful with you in our home.

Love,

Daddy

It's Mother's Day, son.  I can't find the words to adequately describe your Mother to you, and I guess in the end, words won't really matter anyway.  I just hope you realize that the most incredible, wonderful, bright woman to ever enter my life also happens to be your mother.  And she is only at her brightest, most incredible, and most wonderful when she is mothering you.  You are such a wonderful kid, in part because of your personality, but ALL the rest of the credit goes to your Mama. Love her always, little one.

Your Mama told me the other day that you're her little baby, but you're now her walking, talking little baby, and it's astounding how much you know, and how much you can figure out on your own.  You looked through the floor vent in the back bathroom the other day, and said, "Oh.  There's the laundry.  Mama, the laundry is down there."  You could see the washer and dryer through the unconnected vent.

Your cuteness this month consisted of a million little things, including wearing your mother's heels and in your own words, going "kawack, kawack down the hall".  One morning when you had woken up before I left for work, you got very anxious when I walked out the door and said, "I don't want Daddy to go to work!"  We flew kites together this month, which was an exercise in parenting for your Daddy.  Once I had helped you get the kite up in the air, you had no interest in taking control, and ran off leaving me the choice of tangling the kite in a tree as I ran after you, dropping it and running after you, or standing there holding onto the kite and granting you victory.  You're good, kid.  Never let anyone say you can't outsmart your Daddy. One night as I put you to bed, you crawled up on your foot board and started "riding the horsey".  Imagination!  I'm SO glad that part of you has come into play.  I'm very excited to watch that unfold.

We are reminded of your continual attempt to expand your vocabulary when you tell us your motorcycle toy is under the "wash-disher", and your "winka-winka-lights ball" (LED bouncy ball) is "under the bed sideways," meaning it went under the side of the bed.  You're also learning all the home projects vocabulary we keep using, saying, "I want to go outside and watch Papa dig a stump," and, "Ochre hit me down in the dirt."

Speaking of outside, that's become your favorite place to be.  You go out on the back deck and ride your bike, but you won't push on the pedals.  That'll come.  Your Daddy is patient.  You play with Ochre quite a bit, you chasing her, her chasing you.  I love to leave the back door open and hear your giggles floating up from the back yard.  We're working to get a real backyard soon, so you have a better place to play than a weedy patch of dirt.  But that'll do for now, at least.

Again with more talking.  The things you say are so cute.  And you talk a lot, so there are lots of things to write about.  Add that to your parents' wonderment, watching you actually demonstrate that there's a brain in your head that may even have as much say over your behavior as your emotions.  I can't tell you how awesome that is.  Your latest statement of protest is "No Way!" which you've picked up from your cousin Ezra.  A few hours of exposure to that expression was enough for you to cement it in your head.  Contrast that with the days we've spent working with you on Please, Thank You, and Excuse Me.  You are actually very good with your manners, and in the case of that last polite phrase, you've become our little manners cop.  "Say, 'scuse me!" 

Another habit lately formed is trying to talk to us with your thumb in your mouth.  As you're learning more and more complex things to say, it becomes more and more unintelligible when said with your thumb in your mouth.  This is where Love and Logic really shines.  "I don't understand you with your thumb in your mouth."  Out pops the thumb, and real English falls right out of your mouth!  Honestly, I do sometimes understand you, but if I let you know that, then that would just train you to try speaking more clearly with your thumb still in your mouth.  Not exactly a skill for success, if you ask me.

I don't know if it's related to your thumb-sucking or not, but your front teeth don't close together when you bite down.  Your molars and fangs (canines) close together, but none of your incisors do.  I worry about that some, but mostly I'm lost in the humor of watching you take a bite of my ham sandwich and come away with everything but the ham.  And that's not for lack of trying either.  When you do bite something off, it's because you've stuck it in the side of your mouth, way back where your teeth will actually close together and bite.  It's a worry to your Mama and me, but we can't help but be amused with your snaggle-tooth, fangy look.

As all the books say kids are prone to, you thrive on routine.  At bedtime (which needs to move a bit earlier in the next while, to save your parents' sanity) we say, "Let's go put your jammies on," and you fill in the rest with, "An' brush my teef, an' sing a song, an' have a prayer, an' go to bed!"  You have lately had several misbehaving nights, which mean going to bed without some of your routine, but generally we've stuck to it.  I think it's been good for you.

One side effect of your nighttime routine combined with church meetings is you think that every time we sing a song we have to have a prayer too.  You will go downstairs to play the piano (another thing I'm thrilled you like to do) and we'll hear you play and sing for a while, then stop and say a little prayer, then play and sing some more.  We've convinced you to say the family prayer at a couple meals now, but you aren't very willing to do that yet.

Well, other than the specifics mentioned here, you're starting to become a regular little boy.  You like trucks, cars, balls, running, playing in the dirt, climbing and jumping off things.  It's an awesome experience watching you grow up.  It inspires such a mix of emotions in your parents.  Excitement for what's coming, sadness that our little baby is growing out of some of his cuteness, worry about what things might go wrong in our family life and turn you away from us,joy in the cuteness and humor of today, and a sense of awe at the potential we are meant to help you reach. 

You are an incredible kid.  I love you.

Love,

Your Daddy

TEETH!  TEETH!  TWO OF THEM!!  I'm so excited for you!  And, just as I thought, you are super cute with a two-tooth grin.  You've had teeth for a couple weeks now, but I'm still caught off guard when I hear them clack against your spoon, or you bite off a piece of cracker like it was nothing.  You seem so proud of your teeth, and your grin has only gotten wider, as if to show them off to everyone you see.  And one of your new favorite things to do is bite stuff, and then pull it out of your mouth while you're still biting down on it just to feel the click as it catches on your teeth and then pops out of your mouth.  Shoes, socks, bibs, various toys.  You're very quickly figuring out your new features.   

Mama bought you some elastic headbands, in yet another effort to tame your mass of hair.  We still are not sure how to handle your hair, but we're learning.  It's SO cute!  But where you spend so much time with the back of your head resting on (and turning back and forth against) a bed, the floor, a seat back, etc., it's a knotted jungle back there.  You look so much less like a little baby and so much more like a kid with all that hair, and your super-alert eyes and expressions only heighten the effect.  Good thing you still have your pudgy arms and legs to remind us.  Don't grow up too fast, ok?  I know it's tempting when you have this rambunctious brother to keep up with.  You spend a lot of your time watching him and I can just see the wheels turning in your head.  You're sucking in learning like crazy through those beautiful eyes.

You have the cutest little mannerisms I've ever seen.  You wrinkle up your nose and huff and puff and snort while you're grinning at me, which is totally adorable except when you're mouth is occupied with food.  Then you just spray.  But I'm so taken with your cuteness that I almost don't notice, silly Daddy.  When you're grinning like crazy, you often accompany it with little hand movements, flexing your fingers and rotating your wrists around.  You're getting that all figured out too.  It's so inspiring to watch you move and learn how to control your arms and legs.  Speaking of hands, when I lay you down in your crib and put your blanket over you, you stick your right thumb in your mouth, with all your fingers extended upwards, covering your eyes, and you usually bring up your left hand and try to cover the rest of your face as well.  "Oh! Wo is me!"

You've become a little Mama's girl, which makes your Mama feel alternately loved and annoyed.  When we attend family or social events where other people want to hold you, she wants a break from holding you too.  But you just want Mama, Mama, all the time Mama.  You get so anxious when you see her in the room and she's not coming to get you.  And you light up when she does start coming towards you.  It's funny to watch.  And when Mama's not around, well, I guess Daddy will do.  Thanks.

You're eating three meals a day now.  Solid stuff, and lots of it.  We're trying all sorts of new flavors on you, and some of them are not hits at first, but you still eat them the second time we try.  And you eat a lot.  When we've finished all your baby food for the meal, we'll feed you pieces of bran muffin or bread or maybe bits of what we're eating, and you gobble it all up.  I'm surprised at how much you eat.  You really do eat a lot.  Have I said that yet?   And on the other end, (possibly TMI) you have some mighty stinky diapers.  To me that says there's digestion going on in there, not just passing things through.  Wow.  If you haven't noticed the theme, I am continually amazed at your little body, growing and developing and learning to function in this odd world.

And continuing the physical development milestones, you've learned to roll over!  You're not consistent at it yet, and I don't think we've seen you go from tummy to back yet, but you roll from your back to your tummy quite often now.  Just this morning I went in to check on you while you were still sleeping, you were on your tummy.  With your head wedged up into the corner of your crib, too, if you cared, but that's a side issue.  The other implication of this, which we're aware of but you haven't caught on to yet, is that you are now somewhat mobile.  Mama put you in your bumbo seat on the floor the other day and went outside for a few seconds, returning to find you on your tummy 4 feet away from your seat.  We've known for a while you were going to wrench yourself out of that seat sometime, but it was still something to actually see it.  (Mama took a picture for me to see). 

You are still such a magical little child.  Your blue, blue eyes are fascinating, and so alert and interested in the world around you.  Your enchanting smile just melts my heart.  Your chubby arms and legs and diapered bum just beg for me to snuggle you.  Your cute hair is the perfect accent for your bright eyes and beaming smile.  And your cheerful personality is a blessing to everyone.  Your Mama and I adore you, and Jonah is thrilled to play with you too.  You play together so well.  He's kind and gentle to you, and you grin at him and make him laugh. 

I love you, little girl. 

Love,

Daddy

Your mother keeps saying, "He's going to be 3 in two months!"  The little signs of new development are still filling us with wonder and appreciation for your incredible brain and body.  You sing with us at bedtime now, and you'll say a prayer with us too.  You are helpful in carrying things around, throwing things in the "gah-brrrge" for us, and bringing us things we can't reach.  You've started being willing to sign again.  You're starting to call me "Dad" instead of "Daddy" and I'm not sure I want to see that go away just yet.  And the big one for me, your imagination is peeking out in more and more flashes here and there.  You'll drive your cars around, making car noises and talking about how they're driving fast, and then they park.  Just the other day you came down the hall with your arms like you were holding a baby, and told your mother how you were laying her down to sleep.  So gentle.  And I'm always delighted when you crawl up into my lap with a book you want me to read to you.  Your mother and I talk a lot about how to encourage your mind, and I just hope we don't blow it. 

Along with imagination and your participation in the family, you've developed a small rebellious streak.  When I need to change your pants, or I'm trying to get you dressed, you'll shout, "Stop it, Daddy!"  And when I'm doing things to you that you don't want me to do, you'll cock your arm back and after a good long thought about what you're doing and what the possible consequences may be and is it really worth it and what else could you possibly do to express your frustration, you'll hit me with all the two-year-old force you can muster.  And then, even though you knew this would happen all along, you scream and fight when I put you in bed for some quiet time. 

Now that the weather is a bit warmer, I love to go on long walks as a family, with you and Sophie in the stroller.  I love that anywhere we go with you, there's a little narration going on.  "Bumpy bumpy!"  "We're going down down down!"  "There's a truck! (basketball!  car!  doggy!  motorcycle!)"  We've gotten so used to your narrations that when your mother and I go somewhere without you, we have to fill in all the little things you'd say if you were there, because we miss you.

You aren't just changing yourself as you grow up, you're also changing your Daddy in many small ways.  One of them is that I used to think picking up a 40-50 pound bag of dog food or flour was pretty heavy.  Now that I regularly lug around a 30+ pound kicking and screaming little boy, those inert bags are pretty tame.  Tough Daddy.  Ha ha.  Another way I'm slowly changing is I'm learning to multitask a little bit, in that you don't have to do quite so much yelling so Daddy will pay attention to you.  When I'm doing other things, I tend to tune you out, which you are understandably not happy with.  I'm learning to listen for you even when I'm not giving you my full attention.

Other ways you change me are making me more tolerant of nasty diaper smells, more patient in rush times, more willing to laugh at small things during stressful times, and more appreciative of all the little things that make our world so wonderful.  You are a wonderful source of inspiration to me. 

I love you,

Love,

Daddy

I've been thinking about the similarities between Jonah's developing imagination, and your developing personality.  Both are amazing indicators of mental growth.  You get so excited when you see me or your Mama or Jonah walk into the room.  You've learned to play games with me, mostly consisting of peek-a-boo and copycat.  And even when your Mama's holding you, you look around for me to play your snort/sigh copycat game with you.  There is so much intelligence behind those bright eyes.  You want to play with my glasses now, almost every time I hold you.  You know what it means when I start mixing up your breakfast in a bowl.  You've learned to wave your arms around and turn your head when you've had enough of whatever it is I'm offering.  And you've learned to get those pesky Cheerios to stay between your fingers long enough to get them up to your mouth.  And when they get there, you've learned to let go, so you can eat them instead of just licking them into a soggy, sticky finger mess.  You've learned what you want, and what you don't want.  It's inspirational how you are always reaching, touching, learning, laughing. 

Unless you're crying.  And that's usually because you're not where you want to be.  You almost have the crawling concept down.  You're up on your hands and knees all the time.  And you're inadvertently learning to do push-ups too, when you push off the ground but don't bend your knees.  But in the absence of crawling, you're perfecting your roll.  I'm not sure if I've seen you roll to the left AND the right, but you go front to back and back to front all the time.  You spend quite a bit of time on the floor, and hopefully the crawling will come soon.  I think a lot of your frustrations will lessen when you can go places. 

Mama took you to the doctor today for your 9-month visit.  You're a little underweight, which is surprising.  You look as chubby and healthy as can be.  But the doctor said in all other ways you're a perfect little baby.  So, we're going to start dishing up the fatty foods for you, and get you to put a bit more weight on.  Hah.  When you're 16 and rereading this you will SO not be interested in bulking up.  I can just picture it. 

9 months, little girl!  It's time for a new family picture.  I'm very excited about that.  You and Jonah are such cute kids.  I'm looking forward to having a nice-looking updated family picture on the wall.  Especially if we can catch your beaming smile in the picture. 

It's difficult for me to put into words what and how much you add to our family.  Jonah brought a miracle into our home, and he's continued to be a very cute and precious child.  But you are no less a miracle.  You bring a unique beauty and character with you that fills your own space in our home to overflowing.  I am facing that wonderful realization every parent comes to with the addition of more than one child into the home.  There is ample room in my heart for you, even if it was full with just your mother and Jonah in my life. 

I love you, Sophie.

Love,

Daddy

This month you're learning all the lessons pertinent to playing well with others.  You've grown into the concept of Toddler Property Laws:

    If I like it, it's MINE!
    If it's in my hand, it's MINE!
    If I had it a little while ago, it's MINE!
    If it looks like mine, it's MINE!
    If I think it's mine, it's MINE!

And specific to your situation:

    If it's at Grandma's house, it's MINE!
    if I've ever played with it when you're not around it's MINE!

Since your sister has started to crawl and can get into your toys, you have suddenly become very possessive.  I have always been intrigued that a child can be happily playing with some toy, but as soon as he sees someone pick up something else he considers 'his' he'll drop what he's doing and jump up to reclaim his unused (but still cherished!) property.  It's so hard to explain to you that your sister just wants to be where you are, and be doing something like what you're doing.  She's not trying to get in the way, or steal your toys away from you, or act out any of those malicious intentions your evil-eye glare ascribes to her.  She just wants to do what you're doing.  As the oldest child, I'm not sure you will ever understand the struggle to catch up to and keep up with an older sibling.  It's something Sophie and all the kids younger will live with for a very long time, until finally one day they give up chasing you and find themselves.  Make sure you know who you are by that point, so that things aren't reversed and you end up chasing the poise and self-confidence in them.

Your language and mental skills are improving, as ever.  My favorite advancement this month is the addition of supporting sentences to your thoughts.  You don't just say what you want, you follow it up with an explanation.  "Daddy, I don't want my seatbelt anymore.  This is your seat.  That's (pointing to the driver seat) my seat.  I'm getting bigger.  I'm taller.  I want to drive the car, and park."  Or, "I want to go to Grandma's house.  She has cookies over there."  And for the first time, you came out with a spontaneous, "I love you, Daddy."  I can manage to pick my jaw up off the floor, but I'll need some help getting off this cloud.  You could have powered a small city with the electric feeling shooting through me right then.  But as good as you are, there are still some things that slip by you.  Mama asked you if you were a punk.  You said, "Yes!  I'n a punkin!"  

My favorite day with you this month was when we took a trip downtown to Gallivan Plaza for free pizza, and a break from the home project grind.  You love pizza, and you love parks.  At one point in the 'party' they started handing out balloons to kids.  I couldn't find where they were coming from, and couldn't convince you to follow me long enough to look, but you soon pointed out three or four balloons floating up and away.  "Look Daddy!  Balloons up in the sky!"  You were so happy to be at a park, you just wanted to run run run.  We ran around the ice skating rink (empty cement oval in the summer).  We ran around IN the ice skating rink.  We ran back and forth through the water fountain 'hallway' many many times (as far from the actual water as you could get.  Heaven forbid you actually get wet).  I just followed you with the camera, and got lots of good pictures of you, running running running.  We rode the train from Temple Square to the Plaza and back, which you liked as well.  You had a good time, and your Daddy had a wonderful time with you.

I love you, kiddo.  One of your favorite things to do at night is ask for a 'nuggle from Daddy before you fall asleep.  I love just holding you when you're calmed down and ready for sleep.  I like this snuggly stage of life.  I know you'll grow out of it, but I'm glad for it right now.

Love,

Daddy

Sophie, you're crawling now!  You started crawling just a few days after my last letter, and now you're easily going from crawling to sitting and sitting to crawling, and pulling yourself up on things.  Just today you pulled yourself up to standing on the hearth (and sat down, overbalanced backwards and smacked your head on the floor too).  And just yesterday you crawled up the steps from the front walk to the porch by yourself.  When you crawled up the first step you started laughing like, "Look what I just did!"  You have this excited little shriek when you start crawling towards something you really want, it's SO cute.  You're really getting around!  And poor Jonah has learned how to hoard "his stuff" and keep it away from you.  It's quite funny to watch him coax you out of his room ("Come here, Sophie!" in the sweetest voice he can manage), and then close the door behind you.  Then he reports, "I don't want Sophie to get in there."  Poor kid has a lot to learn about getting along well with others.  I'm sure you'll be a good teacher. 

You have the cutest little two-toothed smile in the world.  We keep waiting for more teeth to appear, but apparently we still have some waiting to do.  And your hair is just phenomenal.  We've adopted your mother's easy-do style of hair management, which usually means just a headband, but when we do spend some effort on your hair, it's amazingly cute.  You look so much older than 10 months.  That effect is only heightened by the intelligence in your eyes.  I've said a lot about your eyes, and I'm sure I could say a lot more.  Nothing can take the place of the feeling I get when you're sitting in my lap, snuggled into the gap between my arm and my body, and you tilt your head back to look up at me with your blue, blue eyes, like you're saying, "Are you there, Daddy?"  I'm amazed at the bond we're forming.  It's beautiful.  It thrills me. 

Often, when I'm watching you play with Jonah, I wonder what kind of girl you'll grow up to be.  All parents want their kids to have it better than they did, and I'm no different.  I was a skinny, geeky, socially backwards oddball.  I fervently hope you're more socially stable than I was.  But at the same time, I realize it's incredibly hard to be that way when the world is continually increasing its obsession with looks and petty, trivial things.  It's a tough time to be growing up.  While I don't want to shield you from all of life's hardships, I do want to see you find your own happiness and balance.  I hope as parents your mother and I will be good enough at guiding you toward that balance. 

I love you, little girl.  This has been one of those landmark months, with crawling.  It makes a world of difference in how we interact with you.  You're growing up, and I'm very excited for it. 

Love,

Daddy

Oh my heavens.  Time sneaks away, and all of the sudden you're so much more grown up than before.  This last year has gone by quickly, of course, but it also seems so long ago that you turned two.  Part of that is right after your birthday, Sophie was born.  It has been very satisfying to see that your milestones and progress haven't been eclipsed by watching Sophie grow up.  You are still such an amazing child.  You can do and say so many more things than last year.  For me, your biggest milestone has been your grasp of conceptual thinking.  Your imagination shows up when you ride your bike across the deck to the "Coffa-setta" (Conference Center), and when you come down the hall with your arms held out like you're holding a baby, and tell Mama you're putting the baby in her crib so she can go to sleep.  Your reasoning is evident when you say "I'm going to run over to Grandma's.  There are no cars coming to bump me, so I can just run over," or, "The sun is not gone away.  I don't want to go to bed."  You are still stubborn, but you're starting to be OK with the concept of, "When you finish your cereal, you can do X," or, "When you finish your milk, you can have juice."  

Tantrums seem to be your latest fetish.  You're working your way through the phase where you think yelling and throwing things will get you what you want.  Or, when you're doing something you know you shouldn't, you think it's effective to tell us, "Go away!  Don't see me!"  This is a very frustrating time for both you and your parents, but I think we're all learning.  

You're turning in to a great older brother.  I think your jealousy is wearing off, and you're finding that Sophie is kind of fun to play with.  She absolutely adores you.  When she's fussing in her crib because nobody has come to get her out yet, she lights up and giggles when you come in the room.  She loves to see you, follow you around, and play with whatever you're playing with.  You're very eager to tell us when Sophie's awake, and all the things she's doing.  I'm excited to see you grow up together.  

I've spent some time this last week watching movie clips of you a year ago, and I'm astounded at how different you are now.  These things just sneak up on me.  Last year, you were still getting the hang of talking.  You thought your name was "Nah-nee."  My favorite video of that is I where I say "Can you say Jo?"  You say, "Jo."  "Nah?"  "Nah."  "Jonah?"  "Nah-nee!"  And then you giggle like crazy.  When you turned two you could walk pretty well, but it still took some concentration.  You liked to wear other people's shoes.  You liked to hear the sound of your feet slapping down the hallway, or especially crossing bridges at the zoo or elsewhere.  Now you're more interested in whether or not you have rocks in your sandals (courtesy of your Daddy's slow yard project...), and you want to run just about everywhere.

Again, at all your major milestones, I worry that I'm not going to be a good enough Daddy to bring you up as a well-adjusted, happy individual.  It's hard to pull against all the currents in today's society that want to sweep you into laziness, entitlement, and general lack of productivity and creativity.  I feel a strong desire to pull you as hard as I can away from that kind of thinking, but I get nervous with the realization that you'll be kicking and screaming the whole way, just like any normal kid.  How much do I try to protect you from, and how much do I let go and let you learn the hard way?  I really don't think anyone can answer those questions for me, except you and I together.  I figure we'll be OK, as long as you can keep your wry sense of humor and say to me, as you did when I tried to throw your ball into the seat of Sophie's saucer and missed, "Try again, Daddy."

Love,

Daddy

Who would have thought that after learning to crawl such a short time ago, you'd already be pulling yourself up and walking with your hippo push toy?  You're quite good at it, too.  Jonah would lean forward, let the hippo start rolling, and then sort of scramble to keep up with it and not fall on his face.  You stand upright, push it forward a little, and then walk up to it, totally in control.  You don't balance on your own yet, but you also don't require much support to stay upright.  I have a feeling real walking is not far away.  And I also have a feeling you being totally in control of your hippo is a sign of things to come.  You will have orchestrated the Moon Family Takeover by the time you're 3, I'm sure.  We'll all be marching to your orders.

But, who knows if you'll have any more teeth by that time.  We keep waiting, and thinking teeth will soon appear, but they keep not showing up.  We're not heartbroken, because you have an absolutely stunning two-tooth grin, but it's interesting to watch how long it takes for you to get more teeth. 

We have developed a little ritual in our house, that begins sometime in the night when you lose whatever hair control methods you had when you went to bed, and your hair starts its daily quest for wild freedom.  When you wake up, you let out a couple small cries, which is usually plenty to catch the attention of your adoring Daddy (no matter how groggy he may be).  When I come in to get you, you stand up in your crib, hair all over your face, and start bouncing up and down and shrieking in excitement.  I love that moment.  Your hair in your face and beaming grin and bubbling excitement are so darn cute!  I pick you up, in all your chubby, soft, snuggly cuteness, grab a diaper and head back in to see Mama.  When you see her, you start a whimper, twist yourself around, and generally do about everything you can to get out of my arms and over to your Mama.  Mama's got the food, so Daddy doesn't even rate on your list anymore.  Except I know that's not true.  I lay down on the bed behind you, and you have to turn around every so often while you're eating to see that I'm still there.  When you're done eating, I get to change your diaper, which involves lots of tickling on my part, and laughing on your part.  You're silly.  Then you head off exploring the house.

You've started standing up at the window sill and watching whatever Jonah is watching.  Sometimes that includes me going to and coming from work.  It's immensely satisfying to see the two of you standing at the window together, grinning at me. 

Jonah's starting into potty training, which he really does NOT like, and it makes me really appreciate how easy you are to care for.  You have your own issues with not wanting to drink from sippies, and sometimes not calming down enough to fall asleep (screams galore), but generally you're a very happy and easy-going child.  We were waiting for the little hellion that would make up for how good Jonah was.  Little did we know we already had a budding hellion, with no encouragement from you.  But I'm sure he'll get over it, and hopefully we'll have learned enough to help you avoid the worst of it when your time comes.

Last night I spent a little time in your room watching you as you slept.  You have so many family resemblances.  I see your Mama in you, and your Jensen genes from Grandma Betts, and I also see my mother in you.  Some of the expressions you make remind me of her and your aunt Melinda.  You bring them all together so beautifully.  You are so very charming. 

I love you, little Sophie.  You are growing up so fast, as all kids do, but you are still my precious little girl, and always will be.

Love,

Daddy

Jonah, you are turning into a stereotypical little boy.  It's funny how in the past week or so you've gained a scab from some kind of scrape on your tummy, scabs from skinning your knees and palms, got a bee sting, and started pre-school.

Pre-school!  Oh heavens, you're growing up.  Over the past couple years I've heard people talking and read blogs about parents sending their first kid off to kindergarten or first grade, and how it's all emotional to see their kid so grown up.  I always just passed it off as over-emotional mommies that lack proper perspective on kids and their development (and yes, I have a mighty high horse).  But seeing you go out the door to walk to pre-school with your mama changed MY perspective.  And no, I'm still not gushy and teary-eyed like some people, but it's still a big impact on me.  You're my little boy. 

I think pre-school is going to be a very good thing for you.  You're somewhat of an anti-social creature.  You stand on the sidelines and watch other kids play.  You don't participate very much in pre-school yet.  Just the other day you brought home a sheet of green construction paper with one little white streak on it.  I asked you what the kids did at preschool that day, and you said, "They painted, but I just played with the green ball."  The mothers that have hosted the pre-school so far say that you generally participate in snack time and that's about it.  I really hope this isn't a lasting thing. 

You have developed some pretty good emotional control lately.  Love and Logic really does work!  The big milestone marker was a few days ago when Mama was giving you a haircut.  You HATE haircuts, and generally scream through the whole thing.  So, Mama's cutting your hair and I'm standing in front of you to try to help keep you a little calmer and maybe help you not wiggle so much, and to give Mama some moral support.  You were screaming something to me, and were so freaked out that I really couldn't understand what you were saying.  I told you I couldn't understand, and you immediately stopped screaming and very emotionally, but very clearly, said, "Daddy, I need a tissue."  And when I got you a tissue and wiped your nose, you didn't scream any more.  That's some serious control, kiddo.  I am still very impressed. 

You still like to throw small tantrums though.  But lately they've taken the general form of:

"I want some chips, Daddy."

"No."

"I WANT SOME CHIPS"

"Does it help to yell?"

"....grumble, grumble, grumble...."

I think you're finally learning that there are limits, and they generally don't move for all your protestations.  And you're learning that asking for something with a "Please?" generally goes over a lot better than yelling. 

You love balls, trucks, trains, pizza, running around, and Ochre.  Does it get any more boyish than that?  You tell me to hold my arms out in a circle, making a "basket hoop" so you can throw your basketball through.  You have enough coordination to play a pretty good game of catch.  I've never really seen a 3-year-old that can do that.  What will I do if you grow up with coordination and a hankering to play sports?  I think I can help you in a general sense when you're still little, but beyond that you're out of my realm of experience.  I've never had real coordination.  I guess if sports is something you really take to, we'll figure it out.

We're very near the end of the yard projects, finally!  We have a guy scheduled to come spray hydroseed tomorrow evening.  Then we can just "sit back and watch the grass grow," so to speak.  Your Mama and I have lots of things in mind for all the extra time we think we'll have.  Most of that involves restoring your Mama's sanity, which has been steadily sapped away starting with our move right before you were born.  She's slowly been worn down more and more these past three years, and now it's time to put significant effort into fixing that.  Your Mama has put up with a lot.  She definitely needs a break.  So I think the routine for the next couple weeks will be Daddy comes home from work and Mama disappears to do her own thing.  Or we go to some activity as a family.  Your parents are looking forward to this slower pace with desperate eyes right now. 

Jonah, I get frustrated with you a lot, as I'm sure any father of a 3-year-old would do.  But you really are such a good kid.  You behave pretty well, you obey well, and you're starting to make right choices because YOU want to.  I'm so glad for that.  I don't want to be a dictator in your life.  I want you to be able to think for yourself, and choose good things as a result of that thinking.  I feel so inadequate as a parent, and I would be very worried if you were too dependent on me.  I want you to be able to stand on your own two feet and take on the world.  You certainly have the potential. 

I love you, kiddo. 

Love,

Daddy

 

Dear Precious Little Girl,

I can't believe you're already a year old.  It is so amazing to me how much you've grown up in so short a time.  Mama took you to the neighbor's house for a haircut this month, and you are SO DARN CUTE.  You look all grown up.  You're very close to walking.  You'll stand up with your hippo toy and walk with just one hand pushing it.  And, drum roll please, your top teeth are coming in! 

We're not sure if you're just getting your two front teeth, or if the pair just outside that are coming in at the same time.  There seem to be white bumps there, as well as your front teeth that have broken through.  But you give us ample opportunity to look and guess.  Your favorite expression is a super-cheesy wide grin that would show off SO many teeth, if you had them.  

You're figuring out this whole communication thing lately.  I can ask you, "Sophie, can you clap?" and you'll start clapping, with that same cheesy grin.  You've figured out how to chase me, and what it means when I'm chasing you.  You're just like Jonah was, with your shrieks and giggles as you crawl down the hall away from me.  And when you want something you can't reach, you'll crawl over to it, reach out your arm, and look back over your shoulder at me, so plainly asking for help it's almost comical.

And we've finally reached that stage where you think your brother is pretty neat.  You watch him a lot, and copy him often.  We put you both in the red double jogger stroller and go for walks, which usually means Jonah sticks his thumb in his mouth.  You'll look over at him, and I can just see your brain going, "Oh, is that what we're doing?  OK,"  and you'll put your thumb in too.  And a couple seconds later you'll look over at him again, just to make sure he's not yanking your chain.

We tried to go camping this weekend on Antelope Island.  The Balloon Festival is held there every year about this time.  We thought it'd be a grand adventure to go out and watch hot air balloons float up into the sky.  Well, when we got there, it was very windy, and they couldn't light up any balloons for fear of crashing into the vendor booths, or if it did get far enough off the ground, it probably would have blown into the Salt Lake airport flight path.  Not a good choice.  We found this out from an information booth near the entrance of the Balloon Festival grounds.  The grounds were not far from our campsite, and when we returned we saw our tent sitting there like the top third had collapsed downward.  Turns out the wind was so strong it almost flattened our tent.  But we pushed it back into shape and managed to finally get you and Jonah asleep.  I didn't get much sleep, because every time I really got comfortable the wind would pick up and I would get whacked in the head with a tent pole as the tent tried to collapse again.  After some hours like this, the wind started to really pick up and it rained just a bit.  You woke up and were very nervous about the wind noises.  You would crawl over to me, snuggle with me for a few seconds (such precious seconds!), and then you'd want to get down so you could crawl over to Mama and snuggle with her.  Then you'd want to crawl back to me again.  You went back and forth several times, poor little frightened girl.  I wanted so badly to just hold you and protect you from all the wind and noise and frightening stuff going on.  Ochre was needing comfort too.  She was pretty good to stay in her end of the tent for the most part, but when things started getting worse she poked her nose around the partition and eventually came in for some comfort.  Your Mama and I were standing up both holding the tent up, and thinking that since Jonah was still asleep we'd sit it out and see if things calmed down.  But then Jonah woke up too, so we decided to pack up and go home.  A very kind couple was walking through the campground and offered to help us pack up.  So we were quickly on our way home, where you, Jonah and Ochre were all very relieved to be in familiar beds.  Your Mama and I were also glad to be home.  It was an eventful night. 

A lot of people say little girls have totally different temperaments than little boys, and I agree.  You are much more cuddly, and have the cutest little girl expressions and mannerisms.  Just like Jonah taking to trucks, trains and balls without anyone needing to teach him "Boy" activities, you seem to not need any direction in finding your own girlish ways.  You will be an interesting influence to watch in our family. 

I love you more than ever, sweetie.  You look a lot like your mother, and that definitely helps, as I'm crazy in love with her.  Being able to interact with you more and more has such an incredible pull on my heart.  I cherish my relationship with you, and I love coming home to your sweet little grin and shrieks.  I'm looking forward to this coming year, where you will learn to walk, talk some (we hope) and generally learn a ton.  It's so fun to watch you grow up.  I love you.

Love,

Daddy

For a while now you've had enough fine motor control to sign 'I love you', and get the correct fingers extended and hold the others in.  That was hard for you for a long time.  But, somewhere in your mind, the signs for 'airplane' and 'I love you' are inseparably connected.  So the sign becomes 'airplane-I love you'.  I mentioned to your mama that if you ever formed a secret club with your buddies growing up, that would make a good secret sign.  We got it on video either today or yesterday, finally.  It certainly makes me feel like I'm in a secret club with you when we sign to each other as I drive away to work.  I do love you.  Lots and lots.

A couple days ago your mama took you to DI and bought a firetruck ride/push toy.  It has a steering wheel that really works, and you're thrilled to ride it and steer it around.  Sophie likes to push it around too, but obviously can't steer it when she's pushing from the back.  Today you rolled into the kitchen sitting on the firetruck and steering while Sophie pushed you.  The two of you got around the house pretty well that way.  It was hilarious.  Every time Sophie stopped to look around you'd scoot the firetruck forward a little and say, "Come on, Sophie!  Let's go!" 

I've probably said this before, but I love that the two of you play together.  It's awesome.  There are so many families out there that have too much sibling animosity.  I don't know how young that kind of thing starts, but I'm hopeful that you won't do that with Sophie, or any of the other kids that might come along later. 

Your mama and I have tried to be fairly consistent in using Love and Logic with you so far, and a big part of that is that we give you two choices, and only two, for lots of things.  But you have this habit of making up your own third choice.  "Do you want milk or water?"  "Ummmmmm, I want juice."  "Do you want to finish your food now, or go lay on your bed for a while?"  "Ummmmmm, I want to run away and play."  I love that you come up with things on your own, and that you're smart enough to know what you want and how to make things work for you.  But of course, your third option is rarely one that we as your parents will be happy with, so we push you back to the two choices we gave you.  It causes you some frustration, but you are also learning that there are boundaries in our home and in your life. It's important for you to feel secure in knowing your parents are in control and care enough about you to set limits and enforce rules.  We want you to be well prepared for interacting with other authorities in your life.  You are very cute though.  "Ummmmmm....," with a little mischievous grin.

I think when you start to read these letters, it will be fun for you to read the stories I tell about how you behaved when you were little.  But I also feel I should try to put in advice and thoughts I have about deeper concepts that will matter to you, and things I think you should know for the future.  Today's installment is maybe a little deeper than most, but I think if you can grasp and make use of this concept, you'll be a lot better off than a lot of people in this world. 

As you grow up, you will hear of a concept called Emotional Intelligence.  If you don't hear about it from anyone else, you'll hear it from me, and most likely your mama too.  The basic gist of it is that emotions are a very real and important part of life.  They need to be dealt with in a healthy way, every bit as much as any other problem in your life needs to be solved.  When something stressful happens to you, you need to deal with the emotions as well as resolving the source of the stress.  Those emotions are real, and can have all sorts of effects on your mind and body.  Honestly, I'm just starting to learn all of this myself, but I can see that it opens up a whole new view on life that I never had before.  As much as I'd like you to think your mama and I are perfect, we're not.  We get mad at each other.  We frustrate each other.  We cause each other a lot of hurt.  And at present neither of our very different responses to that hurt have really been all that healthy.  But we're learning that taking care of the anger, frustration and hurt first leaves us open to really finding a good solution to the cause of those emotions.  It's almost impossible for us to solve those problems when we still have all of that emotion built up inside.  That's why I think it's important for you to learn early on how to deal with your own emotions, and how to help others deal with theirs.  It will make getting along with people so much easier for you, especially getting along with college roommates, a missionary companion or your wife.  I hope your mama and I can teach you well enough and set a good enough example for you that you'll be able to practice emotional skills long before you leave the house or have serious need for them.  

I love you.  I want only the very best for you.  I know I can't do very much to protect you from difficult experiences or heartache, but I hope I can teach you enough that you can find your way through the rough spots in life and come out the other side as a better person.  And I really hope I can convey to you some of the most important and life-changing things I've learned along the way, to save you from at least a little of the struggle I've faced.  

You are an amazing little boy.  Every time I snuggle with you I think about how much potential you have, and how poorly I am prepared to help you reach it.  But I find comfort in knowing that nobody can really be prepared for parenthood, and our Father in Heaven knows very well what you need and can help me along the way.  Together, the three of us can make a great man out of such a marvelous child.

Airplane-I love you, Jonah.

Love,

Daddy

Oh my sweet little girl, you've finally built up enough confidence to start walking!  Granted, you don't go very far yet, but it's so thrilling to watch you stand up in the middle of the room, sway a bit, maybe boogie a little (so immensely cute I can't even begin to do it justice), and then take several wobbly steps.  You incite a pitter-patter in my heart like only your mother can.  

You are looking so much more grown up now.  You walk some, your top two teeth are in, and you have the cutest haircut.  It's crazy that you've been in our home for over a year now.  And you've come so far.  You like to play games with your Mama and Jonah and I, and you've developed opinions on what you want and what you don't want.  It's so much fun to interact with you, and to watch you interact with Jonah.  I mentioned this in Jonah's last letter, but it's awesome to see the two of you play together.  Mama bought you a fire truck push toy that you can steer if you're riding it, but not when you're pushing it.  You're still a bit too young to grasp the concept of steering, but Jonah's the perfect age.  So he rides on the fire truck and steers while you push him around the house.  It's the perfect win-win situation, and makes your Mama and I laugh.

You seem to have a special affinity for percussion and rhythms and music.  Maybe I'm just biased and reading too much into things, but you start boogieing when I'm just idly tapping some rhythm on the table or my leg or something.  You love to slap the kitchen bench with me, and tune in to any sort of music that might be going on.  I can't help but wonder if it's related to how I used to walk around the house with you when you were very little and thump on your leg or your back to calm you.  I would always be doing some sort of mild rhythm with you.  I won't complain if you turn out to really like music, I promise.

It's still a total blast watching you grow up.  I love how excited you get when I come home from work.  I love how you wrinkle up your nose and grin at me.  I just generally love any time you look at me with a smile on your face and a sparkle in your beautiful blue eyes.  You have so much of your mother's looks in you, and yet you have your own beauty.  

I love you, little girl.  You are our little angel. 

Love,

Daddy

Hi Jonah,

As always, your vocabulary is growing by the day.  When we read books with you, you definitely have your favorites and have memorized lots of them.  So you read them to us sometimes.  And you sing along when we sing bedtime songs.  You have almost learned the ABC song, and you like to sing it by yourself.  You do so well with your letters.  We are still working on getting you to recognize all the numbers. 

My favorite things you've said this month are, "Does that make sense?"  And, "Yes sir!"  We're not sure where you learned 'sir', but you say it in such a hilarious way.  And your kid logic is amazing.  As we're passing the Honda dealer, "Grandma has an H like that on her car!"  When you want to play with one of Sophie's toys, "But Sophie is asleep.  I can have that now."  You like to pull out one of the two posts that hold the gate shut in the backyard, and when we scold you for it, "But there is still one in the gate.  Ochre won't get out."  You ARE an obedient kid, but what we ask MUST pass the kid logic test.  If it makes sense to you, you're happy to obey. 

You might be growing out of your afternoon nap soon.  For the past while it's been a little hit and miss.  I'm not sure if I like when you take naps or not.  You're much more cheerful in the evening if you've had a nap, but you go to bed earlier when you haven't.  No offense, I still love you lots and lots, but it's very nice when you go to bed early.  It means your mother and I can go to bed early too.  We don't get enough sleep in this house.  

You are still so darn cute, little boy.  I still love to watch you run.  It's your short legs that pump so fast, and the way you hold your arms.  And every time you're upset about something, whether it be a bonk on your head or your parents telling you to go to bed, you want to snuggle.  I LOVE snuggling with you.  I know you won't like it forever, so I'm soaking up every minute.  I love that you're excited when I come home.  I love that you narrate what's going on in your life to me, even when I'm in the kitchen and you're down the hall in your room.  "Daddy!  When the red goes away, I can get up!"  (You have a timer with a red wedge showing how much time is left for something.  As time goes by the wedge shrinks, and eventually disappears.)

I've spent a lot of time this month thinking about what life is going to be like as you grow up.  There is so much to learn.  There is so much to teach you.  I'm not so great of a teacher myself, so I rely on your Mama a lot, and I pray that I will be able to make the most of the learning moments I'm given with you.  I have a lot to learn as well. 

I want you to be able to think for yourself.  I want you to be able to make conscious decisions about things like what extracurricular activities you wanto do during your junior high and high school years, or what college to attend, or what to study in school, or whether or not you want to believe in the things your parents believe in.  You have so much more control of your life than I do.  You need to choose things to do based on how much you want to do them, and how much you want the consequences of those choices.  Live your life by choice, not by letting others choose for you, including me.  There are two poems I think are inspirational in deciding how to live your life.  I may not agree 100% with everything they say, but the sentiment is very good.

The first is "If--" by Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master;
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

The second poem is "Invictus" by William Ernest Henry:

Out of the night that covers me,
      Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
      For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
      I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
       My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
      Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
      Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
      How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate;
      I am the captain of my soul.

As I grew up, I never really understood that I was in control.  I always wanted to blame someone else for any unfortunate circumstances I might fall into, when in reality it was my inaction and passivity that got me there in the first place.  I don't want you to make the same mistakes.  I hope you'll learn early to make your own decisions, and to make good choices too.

I love you, Jonah. 

Love,

Daddy

It seems that just in this last month you have really opened up to discovery of your world.  Now that you're walking, you can carry things from one place to another, get there faster, and see more because you're standing up.  You LOVE walking.  Mama says you do laps between the kitchen and living room when I'm at work.  And of course you're getting into all sorts of things you didn't get into before.  You've learned what it means to chase and be chased.  And you giggle both ways. Some of your favorite things to do around the house now are climbing into the tub when we've left the bathroom door open, dropping whatever you're doing and heading for the bathroom when you hear bath water running, closing the dishwasher every chance you get, and bringing various books and toys down the hall to present to the dog.  It's almost like you're trying to feed them to her.  The other surprising part about that is that she's well behaved enough to not eat them.  In any case, it's exciting to see you interact with your world.

Your giggle, your voice, your smile, your ticklishness, and your snuggles have completely melted my heart.  Shortly after my last letter you practically sang your way through church, so enamored with the sounds you could make, and amusing everyone around you. I love your little voice.  You have these very soft and very high sounds you make that Mama calls your bedroom voice.  It's very cute.  And every time I change your diaper I can't resist tickling you, because you have such a sweet giggle.  

The other side of your voice is the wide-mouthed firetruck-siren cry you give out when you get hurt, you're tired, or just when things aren't going your way.  You have the wind-up and everything.  Mama brought you up to my work for lunch this past week and while we were eating something happened to you and your cry wound up from nothing to a full-on shaking rage.  We just had to laugh at your red, red face and your little fists shaking in outrage.  That's the first time we've seen you do that.  And just last night you woke me up at 2:00 A.M. with a screaming fit.  When I went in your room you were standing up holding on to the top rail of your crib, so disoriented with your screaming that you were facing the wall instead of the door.  As the light from the hallway came in you turned to me with this look on your face like, "Well this is a bit embarrassing."  It took you some time to calm down, and even longer for the shaky breathing to stop.  But we had a good snuggle and you eventually went back to sleep. 

Mama surprised me one evening this month when I came home and she asked you, "Can you snuggle?"  You laid your head down on her shoulder and snuggled for a bit.  Then she handed you to me and you snuggled with me too. Oh heavens, how do I describe that?  It's the same feeling I get when you fall asleep on my shoulder.  It's rare, and it doesn't come without a good screaming fest, but it's all the more precious because of that.  

My favorite moments with you this month have been when I'm tipping your sippy cup up for you.  Your head is tipped way back and you just look at me.  Again, it's your beautiful wide blue eyes with those striking long eyelashes, just looking quietly up at your Daddy.  I love the silent, peaceful moments I get to share with you.  I imagine there will be less and less of that as you grow older, so I'm enjoying it while I can.  I love you, and I hope you will always be able to feel that.

Love,

Daddy

Well Jonah, it's time to introduce you to an idea called "Labor of Love."  You are no longer a cute little baby.  You are still cute.  You still have such a wonderful charm.  But you are also picking up some bad behaviors.  Your Mama and I knew this was coming, so we're not baffled by it, but it does try our patience.  I'm starting to worry about your bedroom door, because it seems every time we send you unwillingly to your room, you give it quite a thump.  You definitely have a temper, and it's going to be hard for you to learn to control that.  I've been trying to tell you that it's OK to feel angry, but it's not OK to hit, kick, or throw things in anger.  You need to deal with your anger in other ways.

In spite of your recent behavior issues, you are still such a good kid.  You are very well behaved, and you love to snuggle.  I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it, I LOVE snuggling with you.  I'm so glad I can be around when you get hurt and start to cry, "I need a snuggle!"  I hope you stay snuggly like this for a long time.  I know it will pass, but I love it.

You are starting to spell lots of the words you see now.  I was putting Sophie in the car the other day when I heard you, "T-O-Y-O-T-A!"  You've spelled your freight train book for me from start to finish once already.  I'm not sure you understand that we read left to right yet, but I think you're starting to get it.  Sometimes you'll spell things backwards, and then it's a nice challenge to figure out what you're spelling, but for the most part you "read" left to right.  We've tried to spell some simple words for you, and get you to read them, but I don't think you're at that level yet.  You show interest in spelling the words, but not in knowing what the words mean yet.

You've become quite the telephone conversationalist lately.  You'll call Grandma Moon and give her an ear full about what you've done that day.  Or you'll call me at work and tell me what's going on at home.  It's so funny to listen to your side of the conversation when you're talking to someone else on the phone.  

It's Christmas time again, and I think you almost understand what it's all about this year.  You've certainly been excited about putting lights up on the house, and watching our Christmas tree.  We have the stereotypical family-with-small-children Christmas tree this year.  No ornaments below 4 feet.  But we don't have a lot of ornaments in the first place.  Our tree has colored lights, and it looks pretty good just with the lights on.  

Christmas has always been a special time of year, for most people, and for me too.  I love all the lights, the music, and the snow.  But I also love the feeling of kindness and courtesy from everyone.  I love that the world focuses on Christ for a little while.  

The world becomes such a better place when more people focus on Christ.  The Proclamation on the Family is very true when it says happiness is more likely when you focus on Christ.  I just wish we could all remember that for the rest of the year.  I want you to know that your parents aren't perfect by any means, but we both know that Jesus Christ lives, and his atonement is the only way we can make up for  all the wrong things we do.  We are trying to build a more Christ-centered home for you to grow up in.  It's not so easy, but we both feel it's very important.  It's important to us to share what we believe with you.  Many times in my life I have felt the love and power of Jesus Christ.  To me, He brings peace.  I have never felt as peaceful as when I know I'm living right and doing the small and basic things He asks.  Real peace doesn't come any other way.  I hope, when the time comes, that you will decide for yourself to live by the principles that bring peace, and learn to love the Savior on your own.

I love you, kiddo.  I look forward to the next 15 plus years I have to spend with you at home.  I don't think it will be easy for you or for me, but I know I will always love you.  Remember that.  

Love,

Daddy

Your Mama picks out the cutest outfits for you.  She found a red dress and green sweater for Christmas this month.  We had your picture taken in it, with Jonah, and you were so adorable for the camera.  Jonah was a frump.  Maybe someday we'll get you both in a happy mood for the camera.

I'm a little late posting this letter.  It's been a busy month.  I had a lot of Orchestra activities that took up many evenings.  Hopefully I won't be late again.  I don't want to make that a habit.

Now that you're mobile, you go everywhere.  You've started to climb up on things, which makes your Mama and I a little nervous.  You will climb up on something, stand up, and then not be able to get back down.  And we'll hear about it, as you scream your discontent.  I love that you're curious and adventurous enough to get into things like that, but I do get nervous too.  It's almost New Year's Day, and Jonah's one-year anniversary for his ER trip.  We're going to be watching you like a hawk.  No repeats, thank you.  

It's Christmastime, little girl.  I love this time of year, as do a lot of people.  I love so many things about Christmas, but what I love most is the time everyone spends on each other, and on Christ.  The world gets a little nicer, a little more spiritual.  It's difficult to carry that feeling through the rest of the year, but that's part of the challenge of being Christian.  Your Mama and I want you to know we believe in Christ.  We know that life is at its best when we are living the principles Christ taught.  We may not be very good at it right now, but we're trying to build a better, more Christ-centered home for you to grow up in.  I want you to learn and know the principles of happiness before you have to leave home and make it on your own.  I don't know if I learned enough of that when I was young.  I certainly had the right environment, but I didn't choose to exercise the things I was taught, and felt I was not prepared for life on my own, or with my own family.  I really hope your experience is different. 

I'm so glad to have you in my life.  You bring me a lot of joy, with your beautiful smiles and happy personality.  I love you very much. 

Love,

Daddy

Jonah, life has gotten harder for you and me both in the past while.  You have so many difficulties as a three-year-old.  It's hard to share your toys with Sophie, it's hard for you to go to a new class on Sundays, and food is a challenge too.  We're such mean parents, though, we keep on insisting on these kinds of things.  You've handled the Sunbeam class on Sunday pretty well, although I know you miss the toys and treats.  And you're getting better about letting Sophie play with your toys.  But the food is still a problem.  You ask for some food, and then don't eat it.  You often just don't eat, in general.  I have a tendency to knock heads with you about a lot of things, and food is a big one for me.  I really want you to eat.  And it's so frustrating to me when you ask for something and don't eat it.  It brings up all my control issues.  My dad was very authoritarian with me, and those are the only skills I know.  So I don't like that kind of parenting, but I find myself doing it anyway.  One dinnertime when I was little, I put a lot of ketchup on my plate for french fries or whatever it was we were eating, and barely used any of it.  My dad was frustrated at how wasteful his kids were, and he decided I couldn't leave the table until I had eaten all that ketchup with a spoon.  I bawled.  I screamed about it.  I tried to run away from the table.  And I ended up eating that ketchup with a spoon.  My dad won, but it was no victory.  That is not the kind of memory I want to give you.  I have more growing up to do than I like to admit, but I promise I will learn better methods of relating to you, and work to keep our bond strong.  I don't want to lose that.

You're in that cute toddler stage where you have a few words mixed up.  You get 'ask' and 'tell' mixed up, and today you told us you wanted the phone to ring so you could call Grandma Joan.  We picked up the phone to call her, and you said, "No!  I want to call her when she answers!"  Or, rather, you want to answer the phone when she calls you.  Sometimes we can't figure you out for a bit.  But we all have a good laugh at it. 

Yesterday we went over to Grandma Joan's house so Mama could take a nap.  You played, and I took my computer and worked.  So, because I was working, I was only half listening to what you were saying to Grandma and Grandpa.  When you started saying, "Papa, I want you to come to my house," I started to worry a little.  I told you we couldn't go home because Mama was sleeping.  Papa burst out in laughter, and it took me a minute to figure out that you had designated a portion of the room as your "house", and you wanted Papa to "come over."  I was a little embarrassed, but I'm so glad your imagination is kicking in like that.  This morning you told me your dinosaur toy ate your tractor's tires, because he thought they were food.  I love to watch those little gears in your head whizzing 'round and making the funniest connections.  Sometimes you get this furrowed-brow look of concentration when you're trying to digest something I'm telling you, and I have to laugh at how transparent your thoughts are.  You're just like your Daddy.  Mama always says I couldn't keep a secret if I wanted to, because I'm too transparent.  I like to call it "without guile", which has better connotations.  I love that I can watch you think.  I do have to do more work as a Daddy because you can reason, and "because I'm the Daddy" kinds of statements or actions are not nearly as appropriate anymore as they might be for Sophie right now.  But that's what families are for.  You grow up, I grow up, and hopefully we all end up as better people in the end. 

I love you, kiddo.  It's hard for you, being three.  And it's hard for me, with you being three.  But we already know you learn super fast.  I just have to keep up now. 

Love,

Daddy

Sophie, you are growing up so fast.  There are so many little routines you've gotten into, to deal with the world around you.  You understand so much of what we're saying, and react to it in such a cute way.  I can tell you, "Let's go change your pants," and you'll walk down the hall to your room, go over to the changing table, and turn around, waiting for me to pick you up.  When you want a drink, you go get your sippy, if you can, and lay down on the floor to drink.  You know what it means when we say, "Let's go to Grandma's," and you head for the front door.  And then I say, "Oh, but you need your coat," and you walk over to the coat rack and start pawing at your coat.  When I get it down for you, you turn around and back up to me so you can put your arms in.  You've gotten pretty good at putting your arms in whatever sleeves we give you.  I love getting you dressed in your jammies for the night.  I change your pants, always with a few tickles here and there, and then put your legs in your sleeper.  Then I stand you up and hold up the sleeves, for you to put your arms in.  Then you watch me zip up the zipper, and as soon as I get that done you lean into me and give me a great big hug, because you know it's time for me to pick you up and take you to brush your teeth. You've also learned to sign a little bit.  I've been working with you a little, trying to get you to say Mama and Daddy.  I tap my chest and say, "Daddy," then tap your chest and say, "Sophie", and you giggle because I'm tickling you.  Now when I try to get you to say, "Daddy," you tap your chest.  You can sign 'more' and every now and then I can get you to sign 'milk' too.  You will clap when asked, dance, and sometimes wave.  It's very cute. 

You are such a snuggly little girl. I'll be sitting on the couch, and you'll be running around the house, and for no apparent reason you'll run over to me and lay your head down on my leg for a few seconds.  And then you're off and running again.  Tonight while Mama and Jonah were across the street at Grandma's you actually brought me a book, and snuggled with me while we read it.  You never cease to amaze me.  I don't remember Jonah being interested in books this early. 

Speaking of Jonah, he and you have developed quite a relationship.  Today when he woke up from his nap, the first thing he did was start calling out, "Sophie!  Sophie!"  You were still asleep.  But when you got up and I was changing your pants he came in your room to see you, and you just grinned and grinned.  You love to play together.  You'll follow him all over the house as he runs around.  He has a bit of a possessive streak, and when he yanks toys away from you, you let out a siren wail for a couple seconds, and then you're on to something else.  The two of you are learning to get along decently well.  I love watching you play together.

Sweetie, you are really growing up fast.  Every now and then you get this look on your face that makes you look so much older.  And I think about what life's going to be like as you grow up.  From my experience, having a girl in the family makes a world of difference in the level of kindness in the home.  I'm excited to see your influence on our family as you grow older. 

I love you.  Remember that.  You will always be so precious to me. 

Love,

Daddy

Jonah, this has been an eventful month for you.  Towards the end of January we took a long weekend and went up to Bear Lake.  It's the middle of the winter, so of course we didn't go for the lake.  We just wanted to get away.  On the way up you hit one of the long-awaited every-kid-does-this milestones.  You asked, "Are we there yet?"  And close on the heels of that one, you said, "Sophie's touching me!"  Ah, the beautiful sounds of childhood. 

Mama got a bunch of movies from the library for us to watch while we were at Bear Lake, and you fell in love with Mr. Bean and all of the Warren Miller ski videos.  I think it's absolutely hilarious that you like Mr. Bean.  We got a video of you watching it, and it's so funny to hear you say, "Mishter Bean."  Now when we drive around town and you see Mini Coopers on the road you point out "Mishter Bean's car!"  

Our drive home from Bear Lake was a white-knuckle experience.  It was snowing enough to coat the road, and all roads out of Bear Lake are canyons.  We tried going up the canyon to the south of the lake, and turned around after a very short stretch.  We were sliding around the road a fair bit.  So we waited for snow plows to go up the canyon, but that didn't happen.  I built up my gumption, and we just forged our way up the canyon.  It was scary, sliding around and wondering if we would make it up the next hill or not.  But we did, and things were OK from the top of the canyon until we started down into the Salt Lake valley.  It got pretty bad then as well, but it was the freeway so I didn't feel quite as nervous.  You and Sophie slept through most of the ride, but I thought you'd like to hear about it.  I hope we have a lot of vacation memories for you to look back on.

We finally bought a TV this month.  It was cheap, from one of the KSL.com classified ads.  But it fills the fireplace hole, which was becoming one of Sophie's hang out spots, and it's SO much easier to deal with than the projector.  You and Sophie can watch your Signing Times and Thomas movies with much less stress.  We even got a converter box, to prepare for the digital TV switch-over.  You'll never know analog TV, and frankly there wasn't much to miss.  But it's hard for me to describe how I feel about having a TV in the house finally.  The word 'resigned' comes to mind.  I like seeing the new digital technology and the improvement in picture quality.  That kind of thing is interesting to me.  And there are some things worth watching on TV, but most of it is not worth it.  I look at the TV and just see a battleground.  We will try to set standards as parents for watching TV, and you will fight those standards.  That's frustrating to me.  But I suppose that's how we grow as a family. 

I love you, Jonah.  It's difficult to be your parent.  Part of that is just that it's difficult by nature, but another part is that you're our first kid.  We're learning, and hopefully we won't do too much damage to you in the process.  Lately you think we're not serious when we tell you no, and it's very easy to get frustrated and angry because of that.  We're trying to be kind to you, while still being very firm about the limits in our home.  You don't like it very much, but you do need to learn to make good choices.  And I don't know how to teach you to make good choices because you want to, instead of because I tell you to.  My only hope is that you're a very smart kid, and you pick things up quickly.  You learn as we learn, and I think we'll come out OK in the end.  Just remember I love you.

Love,

Daddy

Well little girl, you know quite a number of signs now.  Although I think in your case they're taking the place of actual speaking, instead of working as an early communication method.  Mama says your doctor is a little concerned that you're not speaking yet.  I think we as your parents are less concerned, but it's still interesting that you won't say anything.  You understand a lot, and I think you're getting the hang of signing.  You can sign more, no, yes, bird, banana, bath, car, go, eat (or food), milk, drink, and probably some more that I can't think of right now.  Oh, and Daddy!  I like that one a lot.  I've been working with you on some more abstract signs, like help and hungry.  I feel like those are a bit more difficult because they're not objects.  I can't point at "help" to show you what it is.  It's darn cute watching you sign things.  And you grin like crazy, because you know you're doing something we understand.  Just imagine how you'll feel when you talk!

Again, I'm smitten with all of the cute things you do.  You scrunch up your shoulders and walk around all stiff, or you hold something up in front of your face and lurch frighteningly close to walls and chairs and things, or you play chase with me, giggling and laughing in what Mama calls your canned laugh.  I love turning around and seeing my cute little girl watching me with those beautiful eyes and a smile on her face.  I love to play all the little games we've created together. 

Lately it has been an interesting experience parenting you and Jonah.  I'm realizing how hard it is to be consistent and patient, as Jonah is continually testing that.  I hope I improve, and you get a better Daddy that can handle all of your growing pains.  You're still in the cute stage, and you're certainly making the most of it.  But someday that will end and there will be a lot of learning to do on both sides.  It's hard to be a parent, and I remember it was hard to be a kid too.  I definitely think about that as I interact with you and Jonah.  I think we have a good framework in Love and Logic and in the Gospel for avoiding lots of the traditional headaches and conflicts, but that relies on being consistent.  It's still hard. 

I'm impressed at how well you remember to fold your arms when we pray as a family.  There have even been times when I sit down at the table with a meal, by myself, and you wander over to me and fold your arms.  You're a good reminder to me.  And it makes me happy that our increased effort to do spiritual things as a family is at least having some effect.  We're slowly getting better. 

I love you, little girl.  I'm so glad I get to be your Daddy.  Hang on to that cuteness, and always remember the bond we've built together. 

Love,

Daddy

Well, I'm late in writing this letter to you. The past weeks have been pretty busy. I had an Orchestra concert, and have been gone all day for several days in the past while. It's hard on your Mama to have me gone all day. Especially because we've started to potty train you.

You're doing pretty well at it, although it will take some time to really get it down. I think you'll pick it up pretty quickly, as you do with so many other things. We haven't been very consistent about it in the past, but now we're on day 3 of being serious. If I could make a request, please, please learn quickly. It will make life easier for everyone. Having said that, I'm excited for you to take this next big step in growing up. You're taking responsibility for more things lately, and can do many things on your own, like brushing your teeth and putting your shoes on. I love to watch you do things yourself.

Part of the reason this letter is so late is that we're still working our way through the aftermath of a miscarriage. Mama had a surgery in the hospital, and all of the physical effects from that took some time to settle down. And the miscarriage has set off a small emotional storm in our house. There are so many feelings swirling around, and it also brings up lots of emotional things from the past. The current emotional blow is compounded when you add it to an already overwhelming list of issues to work through. Every day when I look at you I have two emotions in my heart. I'm so glad I have you. I love you so much. You are such a blessing to our family. But at the same time I can't help but think about the blessing we should be bringing into our family this summer. It's hard to let all the hopes and dreams go. I love my two children very much. I know I would also love three children very much.

With the advent of warmer weather (we're not quite free of the cold yet, but we've had some good days) you've been able to go outside and kick balls around, or play other games. Several people have commented on how coordinated you are. And you really do have some talent there. You can swing a bat and hit balls that I pitch to you, and you kick balls back to me that I've kicked in your direction. You've always been a good throw, and you catch pretty well too. I'm nervous to have a kid that's athletic, because I know I'm not very coordinated or good at sports. But at the same time, I would love for you to not face the social stigmas I faced in early school years for being uncoordinated. I believe the confidence you gain from the social interactions at recess and in gym time are very important early on.

A few days ago I knelt down at your bed with you to say your bedtime prayer, and got a really nice surprise. I helped you say things, but you went much further. I said, prompting you, "I'm grateful that I could go to the park today," and you said (these words are not exact. It's the best I remember), "Thank you for I could go to the park today and I went down the turny slide and we watched the cars stop for the train." Then I said, "I'm grateful that I could see my cousins today," and you said, "Thank you that I can see my cousins today and play with Ezra and I went down the slide with Adri and Lauryn and flew a kite." You are normally so reticent to say your prayers, so it was surprising and thrilling to hear you add your own thoughts to your prayer. I love that your brain works like that. I like hearing the stories you make up, and the Thomas the Tank Engine vocabulary you use. I'm also thrilled when you pray.

I went to class with you in church today, to help with the potty training. I like sitting in the background and watching you interact with other adults. It's cute when you almost forget who you're talking to and say, "Ma-- Teacher! Teacher!" And then you go off on some story or memory. You have good teachers, and you really have learned to behave well.

I love you, Jonah. As I said earlier, I'm excited for you to potty train. It's such a big step in growing up. I hope you come out of it still feeling like your Mama and I love you very much. Because we do, no matter if it's hard for us at times to be patient about potty training. We want what's best for you, so you can grow into a fully-functioning and well-rounded adult. Potty training is the next big step for you in that growth. Good luck, and remember that I am always here for you.

Love,

Daddy

I'm cheating and back-dating this post so it will show up in the March archives instead of April. We are pretty solidly into April now, and I'm very late in writing this letter.

I think while you are still so new in this world the common theme in my letters to you is my amazement at watching you grow up. You are an absolute miracle. And I suppose every new child is a miracle on about the same level to those who love them. But you are MY miracle, a flower that may be beautiful to all, but unfolds its richest textures and deepest colors only to those who love it best. Lately you look so grown up to me. You can do so much more now than even a short while ago. I love to watch the concentration in your blue eyes while your little fingers are manipulating something you're not quite familiar with. You can make those fingers do so much more that they used to. My favorite part of that this month has been when you wiggle your fingers, for signs or for imitating me when I tickle you. You also point at a lot of things that you want me to notice. When I get you dressed after your bath you always point out your bedroom window, like you want to go outside. When we're outside you will point at airplanes (and sign airplane!) or the moon.

I may have mentioned this before, but I love when you come and look up at me with those beautiful eyes, knowing that your Daddy can help you with whatever it is you want. And if I'm not paying attention, you'll grab my pant legs and start dragging me in the direction you want me to go. So darn cute! You have such confidence in me, and I am inspired to be my best for you, and prove your confidence well-placed.

We have an appointment with a speech therapist for you later in April. You are still not talking, and the doctor wants to have you evaluated. I am not worried about you at all. You babble a lot, and will imitate sounds we make sometimes too. Your one word so far is "Uh-oh." There is so much intelligence in your actions and shining through your eyes, I am confident you can pick up talking any time you want. You have your signs, and I would guess you feel those are sufficient for now.

Your other medical issue for the month has been your rashy skin. Eczema is the technical term, I think. You would get lots of red splotches on your legs, behind your knees, inside your elbows, and on your torso, front and back. When we took you in to the doctor she gave you prescriptions for an oral steroid and some ointment, which have helped immensely. But I don't think the problem is gone yet, and I really hope it's not something that bothers you much longer in life.

You and Jonah are playing better and better together. This is quite the growing experience for him too. He still loves to rip things out of your hands and pester you to tears, but he also plays games with you and both your giggles echo through the house. I love your laugh, and the way you scrunch up your nose and eyes while you giggle.

It's hard to comprehend that just over a year and a half ago you were still waiting to join our family. It feels like you've been in our home and in my heart forever. And maybe you have. I am hard pressed to find words to describe how you just fit. It's a beautiful, peaceful feeling that gives me great comfort. I will always love you.

Love,

Daddy

Here's another late letter, although this one's not as bad as the last. I'm catching up. It has been scary to me to miss your letter dates. I worry that I'll slack off too much and end up quitting. This has been such a good thing for me right now, as well as for you in the future.

We've been having a pretty good time lately checking out the world outside the house. And just like the last letter I wrote, we're not quite out of Winter's grasp yet. It snowed yesterday, and is supposed to snow and rain today and tomorrow. But it should be sunny soon, and warmer weather is on the way. It has been nice to be able to go outside and enjoy our new yard. We filled up the sandbox a little while ago, and that has been your favorite place to go lately. Our sandbox is not very big, and because it's new we still have to reinforce the rules about keeping the sand in the box, but you love it. Just the other day you were digging in the sand with your hand, pretending you were a backhoe. You told me all about it, how you scoop the sand like this, then you move it over here, and dump it out like this. "That's how the tractors dig a hole, Daddy!" Sometimes I can convince you to come out in the yard and kick a ball around with me, or bat at my wonky pitches. I love that we have a yard for you to play in.

Recently we brought home a book from the library that had on one page some kids flying "rubber-band planes" in a park. You immediately declared that you needed a rubber-band plane. We had no idea where to get one, so the thought got shelved for a while. Then when we were at a store that had a Cub Scout section, we found them. I told you I had a surprise for you, and of course your first guess was candy. When I pulled out the plane, still wrapped up and not assembled, you had a very puzzled look on your face. I told you it was a rubber-band plane, and I'm not sure you believed me. It took a little while to sink in, but then you couldn't wait to get home to fly it. It went pretty well, and you like watching it fly around the yard. I think it's awesome that we found one for you. Now if we can just keep it off Grandma Joan's roof...

I'm looking forward to going swimming more, with the better weather. I think we're going tomorrow. I love taking you down the big water slide and hearing your hilarious belly laugh every time we go around the corners fast. You do the same thing when I give you piggy-back rides around the house. Your laugh is adorable.

A few days ago we took a walking trip at Grandma Joan's suggestion and we went up the street to see where the storm drain water comes from. When we walk around the block there's a storm drain that almost always has water running through it, and Grandma Joan thought it would be fun to go see the gully it comes from. There is a gully above us a little to the south, and the water it collects runs through an open stream in a neighbor's backyard before going under the sidewalk, down the storm drain and disappearing. We never made it past the neighbor's house, because you were so thrilled with the stream. We kept trying to drop little things that float into the stream so we could watch them go under the sidewalk and pop out the other side. We never quite made it work, but you were totally thrilled with it. The neighbor also has a playground in the back yard, so you had fun going down the slide too.

At another time in the past few weeks, we went downtown to see the Church's art competition entries in the Conference Center. Your Mama and I liked that a lot, but you and Sophie were not as entertained. So we took a walk over to Trax and rode the train to the Intermodal Center, which is where Trax connects with FrontRunner and Amtrak and Greyhound. That was kind of a fun trip, and you got to ride the train and see a couple FrontRunner trains as well. I had a fear of public transportation when I was growing up, just because I didn't understand the maps and schedules associated with the buses. I love public transportation now, and I hope you learn to love it much earlier than I did.

When we're not out running around and exploring things, you love to read books at home. To me, that's a great way to continue exploring your world, learning about things you may not be able to do or places you may not get a chance to go. The challenge for me lately is that it's hard to make the time to read you all the books you want to read. And it's not very fun to read you the same books over and over like you want. You're pretty good about picking different books, but you still want to read a lot of books, which is more than we have time for. But I do like to read books to you. I love that you get all snuggly when we read together, and I really do love that you want to read books so much. I think once you figure out how to read on your own, you'll disappear into a book and we won't hear from you for long stretches of time. I can't wait to walk down the hall someday and find you reading to yourself in your room.

I love you, Jonah. I'm working hard to create experiences where you will feel loved, and feel the Spirit. I know that your Mama and I will need to deliberately create that kind of environment for you as often as we can, to help you find an anchor in all the trials and difficulties you will face growing up. We're learning how to be good parents, at the same time we want you to learn how to be a responsible, independent person. Remember that we love you with all our hearts.

Love,

Daddy

Mama took you to speech therapy this week for evaluation. They told us you are totally normal, and don't qualify for speech therapy. We could have told you that ourselves. You still only say "uh-oh" and "meow", but you sign lots of things and have all the other normal developmental progress for your age. I think I got you to say "Mama" a couple times yesterday, but I'm not sure you know what you're doing yet. I'm impatient to hear your voice, speaking English. I would love for you and Jonah to be able to talk to each other. On one hand, it will add so much to how you play together, and on the other hand it will take your fighting to a different level too. That will be interesting to watch.

We had a Moon family gathering at our house this past Sunday, and I noticed that I see the grandkids differently when they're at my house instead of Grandma and Grandpa Moon's house. At my parents' house there is so much chaos that I can't really pay attention to the kids the same way I do when they're running around MY home. They all seemed more grown up than I remember, and especially you. And that hasn't faded after the rest of your cousins went home. While they were at our house, you followed Jonah and Ezra around and generally joined in the playing, which you are now big enough to want to do. You want to walk down stairs instead of turning around and crawling down them, which scares us quite a bit. And you want to sit up to the table on the bench instead of sit in your booster seat. While we're on the topic of new things you do, you also walk up and down the hills in the back yard, mostly without falling down. I think that's a great demonstration of balance and walking skills. You're fast becoming one of the kids, instead of my baby girl. I think that's awesome, but at the same time I have a wistful feeling about passing stages that we won't get to see again in you.

You've been wearing your new Easter dress the past two Sundays. It is so darn cute on you. I watch you in that dress and realize how much I was affected by growing up in a family of virtually all boys. I wouldn't have the slightest clue how to make you look girly and cute. Your Mama does a very good job. And you're just cute anyway, so it's not hard. The other thing I think about when I see you in cute girly clothes is that I have a lot of learning to do as you grow up. People always say a parent has to handle girls so much differently than boys, and I know I'll be learning as I go. I've been learning a lot about treating your mother well lately, and I hope that will also help me treat you well.

We went out to see Grandma and Grandpa Moon last week, so Mama could borrow their serger for making cloth diapers. We were there a long time, and soon you really needed a nap. You've never slept well in places other than home, so I was worried it would cut our day short. So when I took you downstairs to try a nap, I did something that I found worked for you in a situation a few months ago. You had woken up during the night and would freak out every time I put you back in your crib. I fed you, gave you a drink, sang to you, and did all kinds of things, but still every time I put you down you started crying again. So, on a whim, the last time I put you down I laid down on your floor next to your crib and stuck my arm through the railing to rub your back. I guess you were ok with being in your crib if I wasn't walking out of the room. So I lay there for a while, and pretty soon you fell asleep. That's what I did at Grandma Moon's. You were very worried when I put you in their portable playpen, but when I laid down on the floor next to you, you were ok with that. And you were so tired, poor girl, you were asleep in less than five minutes. I'm so glad I learned that trick, and I'm doubly glad you feel comforted by your Daddy's presence enough to fall asleep.

I love you, little girl. I can't wait to hear your voice saying, "Daddy!" I love playing with you, tickling you, running around the house with you, and going for walks with you.

Love,

Daddy

The world is filled with narrations now. Your speaking skills have progressed to the point that you can describe just about anything you see. And you do. All the time. And you still absorb words like crazy. We went to Yellowstone National Park two weeks ago, and there were lots of new things there for you to see. We stayed in a condo that was run much like a hotel, and we were in room 303. While we were there we called Grandma Joan and Grandma Moon a few times, and you just had to tell them we had "the room called free-oh-free". You learned how to find our room by looking at the numbers, and not just knowing where it is in the hall. And while we were in the park, there were all sorts of things for you to narrate. You told stories about the steam and the "smoke" and all the animals, and you mixed it all in with your Thomas the Tank Engine vocabulary and put trains in your stories too.

As you're absorbing language, we're noticing how careful we have to be about what we say now. Your favorite phrase alternates between "Dang it!" and "Darn it all!" I think your mother's to blame for the one, and I'm at fault for the other. Those really aren't so bad, but we're especially glad we don't swear, even if we might want to sometimes. The next step is to increase your exposure to religious terminology. I absolutely LOVE helping you with your prayers and saying something about testimony in it. I have to wait until the end of the prayer though, because I can barely keep from cracking up when you say, "test-a-mommy." I'm probably too irreverent in that, but hey, you're only a kid for so long, and I'll miss these kinds of things when you don't say them anymore.

You are definitely still testing your Mommy, and your Daddy too. You are so defiant about so many things. What to eat, where to eat it, which fork you can use, what you want to drink, and which cup it ought to go in, etc. And you strongly resist getting in the tub at the end of the day, or doing pretty much anything that signals bedtime. But still, when you finally get in bed, you do pretty well at staying there. That's a welcome change from popping out of bed every 2 minutes just because you can.

Well, I have to say you are still quite a challenge, but I suppose that will be true for a very long time. But I love you, lots and lots. I love reading books with you, partly because I'm glad you like reading, and partly because I love that you snuggle up to me. I love your laugh, still. I've never heard anything like it, and it's hilarious. I love taking walks with you, and going to the park with you, and swimming with you, and taking you with me to run errands. You are really a lot of fun.

Love,

Daddy

Parenting is full of those moments when things feel like they've been the way they are forever, but at the same time it was barely yesterday when things were different. It seems like you've been walking forever, but really it's only been a few months. And now you're running faster than my fast-paced walk, which is a new thing. You're just like Jonah, with a cute and funny run of your own. Honestly, I could watch little kids run forever. You have a blue three-wheel bike you like to ride around on the deck, except you don't pedal, you just Fred Flintstone your way down and back, pretty quickly too. Now if you could handle doorknobs, you could go just about anywhere you wanted.

You have developed quite the little attitude lately. My favorite illustration of that is here. It's so cute to see you playing games with the rest of us, or making faces to get our attention. My other favorite thing you've started doing is after I finish tickling you, you come after me and tickle me too. And you laugh like crazy when I wiggle around and squeal.

We went to Yellowstone as a family this last month. It was kind of cold, and the roads were barely open, but it was still fun. One of our stops was Mammoth Hot Springs, which has a long uphill climb on stairs and boardwalk, and you climbed a lot of that yourself. I was really surprised at that. We haven't made you do a whole lot of walking before, and I liked seeing how far you went. You liked seeing all the animals in the park, and although you got uptight about the long car rides sometimes, you were generally good-natured about the whole thing. We swam in the pool at the condo several times, and you loved that. They often have one-foot or foot-and-a-half kid pools at the condos, and they're perfect for you. You walk back and forth and splash and generally enjoy being in the water. Sometimes when you have your life jacket on, you crouch down and just lay backwards and float on your back. Then I pull you around by the loop above your head and you giggle. It was nice to spend that time as a family away from home.

Just before we went to Yellowstone, Mama's friend Paige came to visit. You and Jonah both had a lot of fun with her. She would call you Soph, as a nickname, and now Jonah does that all the time. He's always pestering you to come play with him. As a parent, I love that. It means I don't have to spend every moment possible with him. You and he play very well together. Sometimes he's a little rough with you, bonking your head and pushing you around, but I figure as soon as you're big enough to bonk him back, he won't do that anymore. And I don't think that will be long in coming. You can be a pretty feisty girl.

One difference between you and Jonah so far is that you like to draw, where Jonah really wouldn't at your age. Lately you like to draw on yourself more than the paper. But you still figured out how to draw much earlier than I remember Jonah learning it. He couldn't quite grasp that it was the very tip of the pen or pencil that made lines. He would always hold it at too much of an angle to draw, and then when nothing was happening, he'd give up. I think this is just another manifestation of how much you learn from Jonah. He didn't have anyone to watch. But it's funny to see you draw on the paper for a few minutes, and then move to drawing on yourself. I got a picture once of your tattooed hands. It was a tough picture to get, because those little hands NEVER hold still.

As always, I'm continually amazed at how much you learn in so little time. And you are so charming, in your unique way. I love you, more and more every day.

Love,

Daddy

Jonah, you are engaged in the final lap in the race against toddlerhood: potty training! Pretty soon you will step fully into the realm of "kid", and leave "toddler" behind for Sophie. She's hot on your heels, of course, but I'm so proud of how far you've come. You are very good at knowing when you need to use the potty, and have even become decent at doing all of the clothing wrangling and hand washing yourself. You've taken on the responsibility yourself. I can't tell you what a relief that is to your Mama and I. You still need to figure out the pooping part, but you stay dry all night, and all day. It's absolutely amazing.

I've been watching how well you understand the relationship between your actions and the consequences that follow. You're asserting your reasoning skills more and more over the emotional irrationality characteristic of younger kids. I'm impressed with how well-behaved you are, and how well you reason things out. I would love to get you to verbalize a little more though. You've taken to using "I don't know" as an answer to any kind of thinking question. But I can't complain too much, because you really do understand what's going on now, and how the rules of our home apply to you.

And there are still the narratives. You have a wonderful imagination. You love to enact things from the Thomas the Tank Engine world, or pretend you're driving a motorcycle like in the game we play on my computer. Sometimes it takes me a while to get where you're coming from, but your memory is so good and you have such a large vocabulary.

Some of your vocabulary is just off enough to be really funny though. A coworker of mine gave me some toy binoculars, which I gave to you. Your first reaction was to say "Oh! These are good noculators!" I have no idea where you got that from, but it's stuck. And you call a thermometer a "mometer". I think that's because all you ever see is Mama using the thermometer, so it's a Mom-eter to you. Another funny is the way you use "sharp." Anything that's sharp becomes a "sharper", and you sometimes tell Sophie, "Be careful, try not to get sharped," by whatever object she might be interested in. And of course, as I mentioned before, I can't help but laugh at "test-a-mommy."

I love that you are still a snuggly kid. I love spending time holding you. In some ways you're so grown up, and in other's you're still such a cute kid. It's difficult to reconcile those two images of you, and I would guess that's the cause of a lot of the arguments we have. Sometimes I think your Mama and I treat you as a kid in areas where you feel a lot more grown up, and then sometimes we demand grown-up abilities and actions from you in areas where you're still learning. But I'm glad you still know we love you. You are always so excited to see me come home from work. And on long weekends when I'm around a lot, sometimes Mama can get away from the house a little more and do what she wants to do. After you've spent a day or so with me, you'll start looking for Mama, just to check on her. "I wanna go see Mama." We both love you very much.

Keep up the good work with your potty training. You're doing wonderfully so far. And when it's hard, just remember I still love you.

Love,

Daddy

The big news for this month, as Mama already said, is that you've started speaking. You always say "Mama", and you absolutely know what that means now. It's so cute to see you point and say this high-pitched "Mama!" And occasionally you'll throw in other words, like "Dada" for me, or "Yah-yah" for Grandma Joan, but those are pretty rare. Every now and then when I catch you in a good mood you'll try to repeat some word that I'm saying. But you lose interest pretty quickly. Sometimes I'll ask you if you can say "Daddy," and you'll point to Mama and say "Mama!" Yeah, I know where your loyalties are.

You got some road rash on your face the other day from our front porch steps. Right before a grandkid photo shoot, of course. I remember Jonah falling and doing damage to his lips and face quite a bit when he was your age. This is your first real incident, and you really pulled out all the stops. I'm curious to see if it's a trend that continues, or if you'll generally be less accident prone than your brother.

You still have quite the precocious personality. You spend a lot of your time taking your shoes off and sometimes putting them back on.  Your Aunt Greta gave you some cute purple Crocs, and you love to take them off. I think they're your favorite shoes, because you run straight for them when we mentioned getting your shoes on. I think your favorite part is that you can put them on yourself. Another quirk of yours is that you want to feed yourself with a fork, but you don't want to be bothered with stabbing your own food. I'll generally cut up some food for you and stab a piece for you before I set your plate down in front of you. You pick up the fork, eat the bite, and then hold out the fork to me, waiting for me to stab your next bite for you. I think you just need a little confidence in your own strength.

Now that you're wanting to walk everywhere, like your brother, we've been letting you walk around more when we go places. But you are so absorbed by the scenery you don't pay attention to where we're walking. Often you'll wander off down some side path, not noticing that the rest of your family has gone somewhere else. And then when I come after you, you run away. Silly girl. I'm glad you enjoy walking places by yourself, and I'm glad you're paying attention to what's going on around you. I love interacting with my kids when they're on their own. I don't mind carrying you a lot, but it does get tiring, and I like to watch where you go when you have your own choice.

You are still so darn cute! I've said this already, but I absolutely LOVE when you point and say "Mama!" I love to watch you walk and run around. I love to watch you try to brush your own hair, or talk on the phone, or imitate any of the other things we do. Keep going on the language. I love you.

Love,

Daddy

I've officially missed a month now. I'm writing this on your birthday, although I'm still going to post it with a July date. I still want to write you two letters, because I figure that by the time you read this, you'll notice that I have a letter for every month more than you'll notice what day I actually wrote it.

We took a vacation to New Mexico this month for the Easter Family Reunion (Papa's mother's family), and you loved it. We drove 1500 miles over 7 days, which made me very worried that you and Sophie were going to go crazy in the car. But you both handled it VERY well. I was very impressed, and very relieved. It was such a fun vacation. We did a lot of things that your Mama and I might have done on our own, but they were made that much more meaningful because we knew you'd like them so much. We stopped in Durango on the way down and saw the train station there, which you loved. Mama took a ride on that train when she was really little, and we want to go back and ride it with you too.

We walked you all over Santa Fe for five hours, and I'm surprised you took that so well. That was probably the most boring part of the trip for you. But your Mama and I thought it was amazing to see all those old buildings down there. Then we took you to the Santa Fe Children's Museum, and you had a blast. I found it really funny that your favorite part was the "my-size door" at the entrance. You kept wanting to run away from us, to go back and walk through that door again and again.

We rode the Sandia Peak tram on the way down to Albuquerque, and you loved that too. As we watched the tram come down the mountain, you said, "Oh, it's flying! It's going to land here! That's a good tram." I had to laugh. You loved the ride, and you were glued to the railing watching the trams come and go. We also stopped at the Balloon Museum just outside of Albuquerque, and you played a lot with the balloon models that went up and down on a little rail of sorts. We also had fun in the balloon simulator.

At the Easter Reunion you met Gracie, Mama's cousin's little girl. She was thrilled to have someone her age to play with, and ran around giving you hugs for the first while. You ate together, played together, and generally had a good time. She had her bike in the campground, and you liked riding that around too, although you got mad when Gracie wanted to ride it. Sharing is still a struggle.

We made a couple stops on the way home, but generally drove as fast as we could straight through. On the last day you and Sophie amazed me again, as we drove a straight 5 hours home without anyone going ballistic. It was such a good vacation.

I loved spending so much time with you and building our relationship up so much. You love having your Daddy around, even if I think you're crazy for it. You always ask me at night if I'm going to be there in the morning. And when you wake up you ask Mama where I am. If I'm home, you immediately go get out the Grape Nuts and want to eat breakfast out of my bowl. I love this snuggly stage. I also love watching you learn new words and ideas. Your imagination has taken off and you're always making up stories about your cars and trains. I also love teaching you scripture stories and gospel principles. You learn so quickly. I love you, kiddo. Next up, your birthday letter.

Love,

Daddy

Another year has gone by, Kiddo. And it's been a crazy one, for sure. For one, we've all been to see way too many doctors and hospitals. Your Mama and I have had some crazy medical adventures, and I'll be happy to not do that again in this next year. Another big note for this past year is that we've been on quite a few vacations, which is a nice change from being tied to the house and yard projects. We still have some of those, but not nearly so many.

You've changed quite a bit over the past year as well, and I'm not sure where to start. I notice you will sit still for books now, and you are really interested in what's in the book, instead of seeing it as a toy. I think the influence of preschool and your Primary class at church is showing, in that you'll sit and listen to the lessons in Family Home Evening, and have a much better attention span. Next year we'll be sending you off to Kindergarten, and that's a pretty scary thought. I think you'll do wonderfully but it does make me feel sort of old, and as always I wonder if I'll be able to keep up with you, especially as you soak up so many different things from school. We get a taste of that this year as you will be attending public preschool. I think it'll be really good for you. You're the oldest child, and as yet your only real competition is Sophie, and you're bigger than she is. At preschool it will be a different story. It'll be good for you to really learn to share, and interact with other kids your age.

You've learned to interact with the computer already. You already know your alphabet and numbers up to 10, and Starfall.com is teaching you to read short words. I love how you just absorb that kind of stuff. And when you call me on the phone at work, you have intelligible things to say, and you sound so grown up. You can find your Grandma Joan's number in the phone's memory and call her, and you like talking on the phone to people. Mama says you can do basic math already too. The other day you said you wanted six of something, and you counted, "One, two, three, four." Then Mama asked you how many more you needed and you immediately said, "Two."

I love that you have a mind and will of your own, and can reason and learn, but I can still pick you up and snuggle you. And you like snuggling. You have so much potential packed into such a small space. Every time I tell you no for something, or make you do something "my way", I worry about squashing your ambition. I know I may not be very good at it, but I try to make sure I'm teaching you the why behind what we're doing, and encouraging you to choose the better way on your own. I'm not a good teacher, but I still want you to learn independence and build good reasoning skills. Your Mama has an incredible quality she calls common sense, which I'm hoping you get large doses of. I call it common sense too, but I think it's simply thinking things through all the way to the end result. It really is a rare quality in today's world. I'm not that good at it, but your Mama is superb. Pay attention to that as you grow up, and internalize it. It will take you far.

I'm thrilled for all the new experiences you'll have this next year. I love you so much.

Love,

Daddy

I'm late with this letter, again. But I haven't missed a month yet, and hopefully I can continue that. As an update on your speech progress, you're picking up a few more words here and there. When I put you in a hot car seat, you always look at me and say "hot". And the other day when I was changing your diaper you looked straight at me, and signed and said "ball" at the same time. It was very deliberate, and made me laugh. I've seen you look into a garbage can and say "yuck yuck" once, but I haven't been able to get you to do that again. You like "stop" and "go" quite a bit when we're in the car. And you've finally grasped "Daddy", a development that occurred on our trip to New Mexico this last month.

We went to a family reunion earlier this month in New Mexico, and we made a week of it. We went to Santa Fe first for a couple days, and then down to Albuquerque where the reunion was held. We did a lot of fun things, but unfortunately that meant spending a lot of time in the car. You don't like sitting in your car seat very long, and the first day of the trip was the worst. Then I think you got used to it. For a couple days when we got in the car in the morning you pretty much just fell asleep and had a nice morning nap. And then when we hit the road again after a lunch break, you'd fall asleep again for your afternoon nap. I was nervous knowing you'd be strapped into your seat so much, but you surprised me and did really well. At the family reunion you found a friend in an eight-year-old girl that loved to play with you. At meals you'd sit with us for a bit, and then when we weren't looking you'd sneak off to sit by your friend. You really charmed everyone there, but it was especially cute to see you run around with a friend you made all by yourself.

Two weeks before the reunion, we went camping with Mama's family up Big Cottonwood Canyon. That was a lot of fun, but it got really cold at night. Just as the sun was going down we had a downpour. We all crawled into our tents for the night, and it stopped raining a while later. That was a good thing, because our poor little tents do well in some rain, but were leaking a bit in such a heavy rain. After the rain it was hard to keep warm. I had you with me in one tent while Mama and Jonah were in the other. I tried to keep you in your pea pod with your blanket on, but you didn't want to stay put, and your pajamas weren't quite warm enough without a blanket or two. I ended up pulling you into my sleeping bag with me (a tight fit in a mummy bag), and we slept through the night that way. It was hard to sleep with a squirmy little girl, but I was glad I could keep you warm, and I like snuggling with you anyway.

You are still such a super cute little girl. Yeah, you have your feisty moments, and your pouty moments, and there's some screaming in there too, but every time I lay down on the floor you still come over and sit on me, play with me, and snuggle me. I love how you light up when I come home from work, or when Grandma Joan comes over, or when we're looking for Mama and finally find her. I love your little point-and-squeal routine. I'd love for you to really start talking, but you put so much expression into that squeal, it's hilarious.

I love you, little girl. I hope you can always feel that.

Love,

Daddy

We've been to a couple more family reunions this month, and you continue to charm everyone you see. You are so friendly and cheerful. And you love to snuggle with people. You snuggle a lot with Mama and me too. I'm surprised you like to sit still for so long. Mama told me you sat with her through 4 books the other day. Jonah wasn't snuggly until later. He couldn't sit still, he just wanted to be moving around and doing things on his own. He's more snuggly now, but mostly when he's hurt or tired. You will come over and snuggle with me for anything. I love it.

Last weekend Mama took you and Jonah down to spend a few days in southern Utah with all the Betts, while I stayed home by myself to work and get lots of things done. I missed you a lot. But it was really nice to have a bunch of time to myself to just do things. So this weekend I took you and Jonah to your Grandma Moon's house so Mama could have some of the same free time. We love our kids, but it really is nice to be able to get a lot done in a short amount of time without distractions. And I've loved having a weekend to just spend time with you and do the things you want to do. We went to the Aquarium to see the fish, and we've played with all of Grandma Moon's toys, including the go-kart, which both you and Jonah loved.

We also went down to the Willis Moon reunion in Provo yesterday, and you got to play with a bunch of your second cousins. Someone brought one of those PVC ladder games where you have two balls tied together with a rope, and you toss it and try to get it wrapped around one rung of the ladder. This one had golf balls, where before I've always seen it be tennis balls. Jonah knew what the game was, so he picked up some of the balls and started throwing them at the ladder. You picked up one set of balls and swung it but didn't let go, so you got a golf ball to the forehead. I know it didn't feel good, but to me it just looked really funny. You held onto the ball for a second, in shock, and then dropped it and let out a wail. Poor girl.

This morning you decided to wake me up in a pretty unusual manner. While we were at Grandma Moon's, you, Jonah and I all slept in the same room. You slept in a portable crib at the foot of the bed, and Jonah and I slept in the bed. Grandma Moon doesn't have air conditioning, so it was pretty hot at night. I slept with no blankets or sheets on top of me at all. Well, this morning you and Jonah woke up around 7:00, and I tried to get you both to lay back down and just rest a little while longer. I rolled over onto my tummy and tried to get just a little more sleep in. But after about a minute I felt these two little hands tickling my bare feet. I jumped, and you started giggling. Silly girl. You're not supposed to know your Daddy's ticklish! I laughed at that for a long time.

You are so very cute. The clothes you're wearing lately make you look like such the little girl, instead of our little baby. You've lost a lot of your baby fat, and you've developed so many grown-up mannerisms. I love how much you've grown. I harp on you not speaking yet a lot, but I'm really happy with how well you're doing. I love that you snuggle with me. As I say to Jonah, I hope that lasts a really long time.

Love,

Daddy

Wow, Jonah, you've started preschool. It's a weird feeling having my own kid in school. We won't have you at home all the time anymore. And you'll be learning a lot of new things from all sorts of people. Of course you'll be learning good things from your teachers, and being around other kids your age will teach you a lot. But there will also be not-so-good things that you bring home from the school environment. It will be interesting to try to guide you through the academic and social parts of life that are just starting for you now. It's just a whole new world. I think you'll like it, but you also need to be careful.

You've started to be a lot more responsible for things lately. You will do everything to use the potty by yourself, although you still want your Mama or I to stand in the bathroom with you. When we ask you to, you will clean up your toys readily, which is a big help to us. You remember all the steps of your normal routines, and you will remind us when we forget one or two.

Along with the responsibility, you are still a pretty stubborn boy. If we give you enough warning about the way things will be, you're generally ok with it. But if you come up with your own idea, like having a treat before you go to sleep, or having a treat before you use the potty, or having a treat pretty much any time you want one, we usually tell you no, and you don't like that one bit. You still like to yell, and you whine a lot. But a lot of the time when we point it out, you stop. Even if you're stubborn, you're still pretty well behaved. That's amazing to me.

Just this past week, your Primary teacher, Brother Spencer, passed away. That's been a difficult thing for us and the rest of the ward to handle. You seem to take it pretty well when we tell you he's gone to be with Heavenly Father, and at times like this I'm kind of glad you're so young. Now you've had two people fairly close to you pass away. When "Grandpa" Del Bigler died, there were lots of flashing lights, a fire truck, and an ambulance. You remember those the most. I don't know what you'll remember of this, other than having a new teacher. But when you read this letter later, I want you to know that your Mama and I worried about how this would affect you, and we worried a lot about Sister Spencer. It's going to be very hard for her to heal from this.

Next week is your first Primary program in church. You've been given one line to speak, and I'm pretty sure you know it well. When your turn comes around, you're supposed to say, "My Daddy helps me." Today when we asked you about how the practice went, you told us your line, and then added, "and Mama doesn't." We cracked up over that. If you say that in church next week, we'll never let you live it down.

Your Mama and I love you very much. I'm excited for what you'll learn in preschool, and I love that you get to take part in the Primary program for the next several years. When these big milestones come around, I wonder how the past 4 years could have gone so fast. I'm not sad about how much you've grown and how fast you're still growing. But I do wish you could be little a while longer. I love you.

Love,

Daddy

Ever since Jonah's birthday, I've been looking forward to yours. It seems I'm always caught off guard by the big milestone dates, but at least I have forewarning for your birthdays. I'm also always saying how amazed I am at how much you've grown. And this is no exception. Even just since Jonah's birthday, you've changed quite a bit. I can't believe the grown-up, social girl you've become.

We moved you from your crib to the toddler bed this month. It took you all of one day to figure out that was where you were supposed to sleep. Staying on the bed all through the night is a different matter, but you definitely know where your bed is and what it's for. Since the change, it seems like we have to get out the camera almost every night and take a picture of the odd position you've gotten yourself into to go to sleep. Just last night I went into your room to check on you, and you were lying on the floor with your head almost entirely under the bed. I don't know how you got there, or how you thought that was comfortable, but it sure made me laugh. And I was nervous picking you up to put you back in bed. I was afraid that when I touched you you'd jerk and bonk your head. But all went well. I love that I can say to you, "It's time for bed," and you'll toddle down the hall and climb in bed by yourself. And even if you do wake up a bit too early for your parents' tastes, I still love waking up to your little squeal.

Another heart-stealing moment came yesterday when I got up a bit later than usual because of a morning dentist appointment. I had just finished using the bathroom, brushing my hair and shaving, and turned off the light to come out. It was about 6:30, and still quite dark. I always turn off the light before opening the door, because your bedroom door is right there and I don't want to wake you up. So I opened the bathroom door after turning off the light, and heard the cutest little "Daddy!" come out of the darkness. I love you beyond what I'm capable of writing, and when I hear you say, "Daddy!" with such a light in your eyes and your voice, I just want to pick you up and hug you and snuggle you like crazy.

You really have grown, even when compared to just a month ago. You are such a big girl now. You have very little baby fat left, and the clothes you wear give you a more mature look too. And my favorite, you're starting to talk more. It's still coming slowly, but you'll try to imitate us sometimes, and you've learned several words that you use regularly.

Mama said a little while ago that she thinks two is the perfect age. I have to agree with her so far. You like to play games with me, snuggle me, climb on me, run everywhere you go, and you're just so cheerful. I love this stage. I know it won't last, especially if you've inherited any of your parents' stubborn and opinionated natures, but I really do love seeing your personality emerge.

You will always be my precious little girl. Remember that I love you.

Love,

Daddy

I'm going to avoid talking about potty training in this letter, because I know the lack of progress we're experiencing right now will seem so inconsequential when we read this letter later. Or at least I can hope, right?

I forgot a bunch of your funny sayings in my last letter, so you get a whole bunch this time. I love how your brain connects things that aren't quite right, but make so much sense in your little kid world.

I took you and Sophie to stay at my parents house one weekend towards the end of August. That was a really neat experience. I liked being with you all the time, and it was good for Mama to have some time off too. At night you and I shared a bed, and Sophie slept in the portable playpen/crib at the foot of the bed. I had my cell phone with me, of course, and I would talk to Mama at least each night. The first night we were there, Thursday, we had all climbed in bed and I was talking to Mama on the phone. I remember asking you if you wanted to talk to her, and you said no. Then you rolled away from me and stuck your thumb in your mouth. I kept talking to Mama, and after a while you rolled back towards me and said in a grumpy voice, "Go to sleep, Daddy." I thought it was very funny, because you're usually the one awake late, and we're trying to get you to go to bed.

On Friday Mama and I went on a date in the evening. I took her back home, and stayed there a little while before coming back to climb in bed with you. When I did get back just after 11:00 PM, everyone in the house was asleep except my little Jonah who had lights on all over the house and was downstairs playing with toys. Silly kid.

The next day was Saturday, and I took you and Sophie down to Provo for a Moon Family Reunion. You had a blast there with the bikes and toys. We had lunch there, and of course all you really wanted to eat were chips. So of course you finished your meal before everyone else, and ran off to play in the field with a bat and ball. Well, before I finished eating, you let out a scream and came running to me holding your ear. You got a bee sting! I was pretty nervous at first, because who knows if you'd be allergic to that or something, but you were fine. You're such a healthy kid, and I'm very grateful for that.

Earlier this month I was getting dressed up for something, and I put on my new yellow tie with Chinese characters on it. I was standing in front of the mirror adjusting it when you came out of your room and told me that tie was gorgeous. How do you know a word like that? And do you really understand what it means? I suspect you don't really know, but it sounds so funny coming from you.

I got to drop you off at preschool about that same time, and when we opened your locker to put your jacket in, you told me there was a hooker in there, to hang your jacket on. Yeah. I'll let you figure that one out when you're ready.

You also like to play make-believe games now. You like to eat pretend Grape-Nuts with me in the pretend morning, which could be any time of day. And you like to pretend to be knocking on my door. I ask, "Who is it?" And you tell me to open the door and see. I say I don't open the door until I know who's there, and I don't have a peephole to look through, so you have to tell me. The first time I said that, you told me, "But the peoples are home, so you have them now." Another time you said, "But Sophie is here. She's a people for you."

So, because I'm a little late in writing this letter, I get to write about going to preschool with you on Monday of this week. I had the day off from work, so I volunteered in your class. It was a blast. I thought it was great to watch you and all your classmates learning how to follow the teacher and be in school. At first all the kids looked at me funny, I'm sure because I'm so tall. But when they saw that I was pretty friendly, they latched onto me like crazy. When we first got to class, the teacher had paper and pencils out for you to practice writing "1"s. One of your classmates wrote a few ones, and then turned his paper over and drew a big oval shape. He told me it was my head, and it was big. Then he drew two lines out from my "head", like legs, and said something that sounded very much like, "biddy dumpings." I tried and tried to figure out what he was saying, but I couldn't get it. Another kid wanted me to make a paper airplane, like his daddy does. So I made one, the way I always have, and he was so excited because it was just like his daddy makes them. One girl carried around a magnifying glass for a long time, fascinated by how it made things bigger. She kept coming up to me and telling me all the things that were bigger. We sang songs, talked about the Fall season, and went to the library and had a book read to us. It was a lot of fun. I was glad I could go. Most of all, I loved seeing you behave so well. You paid attention to the teacher, didn't pester anyone, kept your hands to yourself, and followed along really well. I think it's amazing you're already going to school. I don't feel that old. It's a nostalgic thing for me to remember my first days of school and all the things I learned about how to interact with other kids and my teachers. I'm excited for you to learn all those things, and it's fascinating to watch. You're REALLY not our little Jonah anymore.

I love you, Kiddo. I still find it amazing that every night you ask if I'll be there in the morning, and you get so excited when you can eat Grape-Nuts with me. You like knowing where I am and you love when I come home. I hope I can live up to the hero you see in me. And I hope I can help you learn to reach your full potential.

Love,

Daddy

There are some interesting things happening in the world these days. You got a swine flu vaccine this past weekend. A couple years ago, there was a scare about avian flu spreading to humans and lots of people dying from it, but that hasn't happened yet. Last year people started getting swine flu, or novel H1N1, as they call it. The normal flu kills a number of people each year, but this one was a bit more severe. And it seems to affect little kids more than anyone else. So they've been working on a vaccine all year, and finally got one finished. It's a separate shot this year, because it was only just finished, so although you've already had your normal flu shot for the year, you needed a different one for this. And Mama says you're supposed to go back and get a second dose in a month. Davis County organized a clinic that was this past Saturday, and Mama took you down and stood in line for two hours with you and Jonah. Jonah got a nasal spray vaccine, and you got a shot. I'm glad you have it. Your Peterson cousins all had swine flu last week, so I was a little worried about you and Jonah. I think we're pretty good about keeping things clean in our house, and we're not super social people, but Jonah goes to preschool, where he might bring it home with him. I don't want you or him to get sick.

After your flu shot we all went up to J & J Gardens in Layton and rode a wagon with hay bales out to their pumpkin patch. They had three wagons pulled by tractors taking people out and bringing them back. You were tired by that point, but I think you liked the ride. We had to stand in line a little, and you definitely didn't like that. We picked a small pumpkin for you, and one for Jonah too. We tried to do that last year, but it was rainy and they weren't giving rides that day. Afterwards, we went to the duck park and ate lunch. You always like to see the ducks and geese.

You've been learning some new words lately, which makes me very excited. Today you brought me one of Mama's books and said "book" as you held it out to me. I've been teaching you colors a little, and you're learning signs for some and words for others. At J & J Gardens they have a couple small fish ponds, and I was pointing out to you the red, orange, yellow, and white fish. You learned how to sign red, and last night as you went to bed snuggled up to your yellow-clothed Cabbage-Patch doll, you pointed to it and signed red. I told you it was yellow, and you said "yellow." You've also been saying "apple" and pointing at our jack-o-lantern lights over the fireplace. Sometimes you'll copy what I'm saying, or what Jonah's saying. You're especially good at copying tone of voice. You make it into a game.

For the cuteness moment in this letter, I love how you look up at me when you don't know a word or sign. I'll ask you what something is, and say, "Can you say it?" You'll wait a minute, and I'll say, "Can you sign it?" You'll look up at me with an expression that says, "I don't know this one, Daddy. Teach me." And you do learn. I think that's one thing that has started to connect in your head. You can learn words for things, and you can look to us to teach you the ones you don't know. Just today you wanted me to follow you upstairs, and I asked you what you wanted. You stopped to think for a bit, and then I could just see you saying, "I don't know this one," as you reached out and just waved for me to follow you. It turned out you wanted a bran muffin. I don't blame you for not knowing that one. But I love that you try.

I love you, and I'm still excited to hear you talk to me. You're making me wait for it, but I'm patient.

Love,

Daddy

My last letter ended on Grape-Nuts, and this one will start with it. We recently switched out of Daylight Savings Time, which means you and Sophie wake up at an earlier hour on the clock. But still, I get up at 5:00 and go out the door at 6:00, so I should still be able to do that while you're still sleeping. One of the first nights this last week you came out of your room at 5:30. It's a little funny when you do that, because you hang around out in the hall while I'm in the bathroom. You don't want to come in because it's too bright. So I hear you wandering around outside the door, and then I come out and you talk to me. I asked you this time why you were awake so early, and you said, "I didn't want to miss Grape-Nuts with you." Silly kid. I'm impressed that you value eating breakfast with me.

Apparently you like having me around. You're always asking if I'll be home in the morning, and whenever I go somewhere you tell me, "Don't take too long." And the once when I went down to a rehearsal in the evening you told me to tell the guy that waves his arms around that I can't take too long tonight. Sometimes you call me at work to tell me that too. I love when you call me at work. You called recently when I wasn't able to answer the phone. When I went to retrieve the message you left, it said, "Daddy? Daddy? Don't take too long at work, OK? You need to come home."

Again, you have some instances where you say the funniest things. Mama took you and Sophie to Costco, and Sophie wanted to stand up in the cart. Mama told her to sit down, because she didn't want her to fall and break her "punkin head." You looked at Mama funny, and said, "Sophie doesn't have a pumpkin head!" And a little while ago you had the salad tongs out and were trying to use them to pick up one of your plastic forks. It wasn't going so well, but you continued to narrate, talking about the builders that were moving the fork with their "crane" and what a hard time they were having getting it moved. Finally you got the spoon to stay in the tongs, and moved it over to your bowl. While you were moving it, you narrated, "And impossumly, they did it." I really had to laugh at that one.

We went to the Ward Trunk or Treat a week ago, and I think you're starting to understand what trick-or-treating is. But only just. Mama walked you and Sophie around the loop of cars while I stayed at our car to hand out goodies. She said you made it about to the end of the one line of cars, and then you and Sophie were done. We left the church and went back to Grandma Joan's, where you got to eat a bunch of your candy. Later that night you complained about your tummy not feeling good, and you ended up throwing up in your room. I felt so bad for you. You haven't thrown up for a while, and it's hard to watch you be so miserable.

But on a happier note, you pooped in the potty a few times this month! We're all very excited about that. You still have times when you pee your pants, and you poop in your pants much more often than not, but it's progress. I still think that when you're 16 and giving us grief for all sorts of things, I'm going to be so tempted to tell you, "Hey, we potty trained you. Nothing you do now can hold a candle to that." It's been such a hard experience on both sides. We're learning how to encourage you without being overbearing (with not nearly as much success as we'd like), and I keep hoping you're learning what it feels like to need to use the potty. There are times you'll decide you need to pee, but we still have to shepherd you into the bathroom a lot, when you're not willing to go but badly need it. Someday this will all click, and I can stop writing about it in these letters. OK?

I love you, kiddo. Lots.

Love,

Daddy

Oh you're such a silly little girl. The same day I finished your last letter, I came downstairs to find that you had turned the TV on and were watching ice skating. Did you know your Mama used to be in an ice skating performance group? We'll probably teach you to ice skate when you're a little older. Anyway, you were glued to the TV, and when I turned it off and said we needed to go upstairs, you stood up all hunched over. It looked just like when your Papa Weldon stands up and has a hard time straightening up. You started walking all hunched over, and then you spun around in a circle. I had to laugh out loud. You were imitating the ice skaters! It was so funny to see you "glide" around the room like them.

You're also showing a strong leaning towards gymnastics lately. You jump off any small step you can find. When we're going outside and walking down the porch steps, you stop and jump off the last one. Then you walk a couple feet and jump off the sidewalk into the grass. You like to jump, and you jump a lot higher than Jonah did at your age. The other funny thing I've noticed is that you'll scoot our green chairs together in the living room and do gymnastics on the arm rests, like parallel bars. It's very cute.

Speaking of cute, your Mama asked you the other day, "How did you get so stinkin' cute?" Your answer? You pointed at your diapered bum.

You are still learning lots of new words. Your pronunciation needs some work, of course, but I'm amazed at how much you know. We looked through your ABC quiet book at church, and you knew "temple" ("bup bo") and "Jesus" ("dzz szz"). When we ask you to say "vegetable" it sounds the same as when you say "buffalo." You say "bup ba bo." You have that B sound down pat. It's time to branch out though, you know. I get more and more excited to hear you talk now that you say, "Hi!" when you see me, and "Yeah!" when I ask you questions.

We were driving in the car one evening and Jonah was trying to explain something to you that you didn't like (or maybe you were just generally grumpy), and you were doing your "Hnnnn." sound that pretty much means "No". But Jonah kept trying again and again to explain it and get you to agree. He was quite verbose about it, and I thought it so funny that by your one non-word sound, you were totally defeating his well-thought-out, well-spoken explanation.

Your other latest quirk is wearing your snow boots everywhere you can. You're wearing Jonah's old snow boots, that are black, with some blue trim and grey camouflage. Mama calls them your combat boots. The best part about them is you can put them on by yourself. Last night you unzipped your pajamas and fell asleep, and this morning (after we zipped you up and tucked you in again last night) you came into our room with just your onesie and combat boots on. So sexy. You were pretty cold though, so it makes me wonder just when you got your jammies off.

I love you, little girl. I love to snuggle with you, I love to tickle you and hear your laugh, and I love walking around with you holding my hand. We've been playing music in the house more lately, and you like to dance to it. I like to dance with you. Sometimes I pick you up and we spin around, and sometimes you stand on my feet while I walk around. You definitely have me wrapped around your little finger. And I don't feel bad about that one bit.

Love,

Daddy

Let's just get straight to the crack-me-up Jonah sayings this time, shall we? You and Sophie have taken to opening the utensil drawers and pulling things out to play with. It's always funny to hear you call them the "salad pickers". One day when you had gotten all your clothes off for bath time, I was drumming on your tummy and your back a little. When you got in the tub and I went to turn on the water, you started slapping your side and saying, "I'm banging on my hippies!" Another night you wanted me to read you a fairy tale, and you asked for "Red Ride Hoodie." Mama has a hoodie jacket, and you've heard her call it that a lot. We made granola bars this past month, and when I cut one out of the pan to put in my lunch, you said, "That one's fiver one big!" Grandma Joan always has Fiber One granola bars at her house, and you call them "Fiver One bars." Another time I let you do your Starfall.com games on the computer downstairs, and I came in to hear you saying, "The octopus can jiggle orangees." There was an octopus juggling oranges on the screen. You get so close sometimes, and other times you come out with words we have no idea where you learned. You told an older gentleman at Target that he could come find you in the shoe aisle tomorrow. Where did you learn "aisle"? You told Mama that one of the orange traffic barrels ( you call them cones) was flattened. And I don't remember the context but you've used the word britches before. You have an amazing vocabulary. I think I heard someone say that you learn an average of two words per hour at your age. I can believe it. Another time you told Mama that you know when Daddy drives his car home, because when the garage door opens the house crumbles.

And my favorite this month? You were in the tub scooping up water in a cup and holding it way up and pouring it out. You said it was falling down and dying. I asked you if you thought water was alive, and you said yes. Then I asked what made you think the water was alive, and you said, "Because it has a brain that it can go down."

We've finished another year. And again, you've grown a lot, in spite of your parents. There are a lot of times I want to apologize to you for making you the guinea pig for our parenting. Your Mama and I are doing our best, but most of the time we feel like that's not very good. We learn from you as much as you learn from us. And we're just hoping you don't come out with too many scars from the process, physical or otherwise. Your Mama and I have spent a lot of time getting our home straightened out this year, and we hope things will improve a lot this next year. There is always a lot of work to do, and new things to figure out. But we both feel like we've not been very good parents this year, and we want to do better in the future.

You really are such a good kid. I'm glad for all the vacations we took this year, and all the fun things we've done. We plan on having just as much fun next year.

I hope you know I love you. I also hope you can see that family is very important to me. I want to be a better Daddy for you. I'm too strict. It's what I grew up with, and I have to learn to be different than that. I'm glad you still love me, and want to eat Grape Nuts with me all the time. I'm glad you like going places with me. I especially love putting you in bed and talking to you about what's going to happen tomorrow. After the Christmas concerts this year, I've really enjoyed being home in the evenings with you, and spending a little more time with you. I'm excited to spend time with you this next year.

Love,

Daddy

This has been an interesting month for you. You've learned to open doors, and we've pretty much done away with sippy cups. You're repeating things we say more and more. And you've become Daddy's best friend. You've been really snuggly for everyone the past while, which is very cute. You snuggle with Papa quite a bit, and Grandma Joan. This month I've had Christmas concerts, which meant I hardly saw you at all for a week. Then the next weekend Mama and I went away for a vacation. This past week you've LOVED your Daddy time. You snuggle with me a lot, and always come find me and pull me to whatever it is you want me to do. And I'm falling in love again with your clear blue eyes, and your cute wrinkled-nose grin. I'm especially excited that you're talking more. Not a lot of it makes sense yet, but you've picked up quite a few more words. Just yesterday I got you to count to ten with me, and today you repeated the alphabet with me. I'm still looking forward to hearing your voice, and what's going on inside your head.

A few weeks ago you learned how to say, "All done!" I put you in the tub one night for a bath, and left you to play in the water while I cleaned up a little. Pretty soon you were yelling, "All done! All done!" I went back in to check on you, and you had let all the water out and were ready to get out. I love that you know what you're saying. I just hope it catches on soon that you can say things that mean something to everyone else in the house. Communication is a good thing.

I've said this before, but I love when you play games with me. One of your recent games is repeating "Daddy" with different inflections. Sometimes you'll copy me, and sometimes you want me to copy you. My favorite is when you say "DaddeeEEeeEEeeEEeeEEeeEEee". I'm especially excited that you can change the tone of your voice, because I have this desire for my kids to learn Chinese, and that's an important part of the language. I need to do more about teaching that to you and Jonah.

It has been quite a year for you. You've gone from simple walking straight to climbing on everything, running, jumping, and generally being much more adventurous than when Jonah was your age. You've learned a lot of signs, and lots of words too. I'm excited for you to really start talking this next year.

I think we're going to have a fun year. We have lots of ideas for places to go on vacation, and lots of fun things to do at home and near home. Jonah's still in school, so you get some alone time with Mama, and when he starts Kindergarten you'll get even more.

You've turned into a super cute little girl. I'm excited for all the new things you'll learn, but I'm also sad you're not our little baby anymore. We'd like another little baby, of course, but if that doesn't happen I'm very happy to have my two cute kids. You make me smile all the time.

I hope you know I love you. Your Mama and I are going to do everything we can to make this next year a good one for you and Jonah. Keep learning and growing. And don't forget to keep charming your silly Daddy.

Love,

Daddy

Your imagination has really taken off lately. You like to put our green leather chairs up on the couch and pretend you're in a boat or on a train. You'll pretend you're a dog sometimes, or a cat sometimes. You like being a train gate, and making us all wait to go through the gate until the train has gone by. Sometimes Sophie gets pretty mad at that. She doesn't appreciate the spontaneity of the idea.

The other item of note is that you can read quite a bit now. It's surprising sometimes to hear what you can read. You like finding the Exit signs in whatever store we might be in. Aunt Holly gave us a binder with Family Home Evening lessons in it for Christmas, and Mama asked you what it said on the front. You read the whole thing. "Family Home Evening Lessons for a Year." We were all pretty surprised at that. You love having us read books to you, and your attention span is getting better and better. Grandma Joan says you're ready for something like "Charlotte's Web" soon. It will be fun to start reading chapter books with you. I am so excited to see you fall into books. I'm excited for you to go to kindergarten later this year, and bring things home to read. I wish I had more time to read now. I remember one day in Junior High my teacher gave us Ender's Game as reading for the next several weeks, and I took it home and couldn't put it down until I'd finished it that evening. I think I read it 3 or 4 times in those several weeks. I also remember the compilation books we had for reading in Elementary school. I loved those stories, and I was always several stories ahead of the class. Your Mama loves books just as much if not more than I do. I think you're doomed, really, but if we've doomed you to a life of loving books, I think there are worse things we could do as parents.

You are still coming up with funny little sayings. Just tonight when you brushed your teeth, I let you rinse three times. You wanted four times, and got mad at me when I stopped at three. You said, "Well, if I don't get four times then I'll be grumpy when I come back from Jesus!" We have no idea what you meant there. But you had such the look of consternation.

I'm glad you're learning about spiritual things. I hope we can feed you enough information and spiritual experiences to guide you as we should. I also hope we're not too overbearing. I think we'll lean more toward the overbearing side, and that will be our challenge. Remember that we love you, always. I've said that before, and I'm sure I'll say it many more times. I love you lots and lots, kiddo.

I'm still excited about all the fun things we get to do this year. I hope you remember the good experiences for a long time.

Love,

Daddy

Well, you've had quite the vocabulary explosion this past month. You say a lot of words now, although you tend to leave off the consonants, so it's very hard to understand. But you know what we're saying, and you make an effort to say things and get us to understand. Jonah talks to you all the time, and it's starting to be a two-way conversation. I'm excited for that too. Life gets so much easier for you and for us when you can talk. You and Jonah have been really healthy kids, but I always worry about you feeling sick and not being able to tell us what's wrong. And you will be able to exert a lot more control over your relationship with Jonah when you can tell him what you like and don't like. And it's so cute when I come home from work and you come running around the corner saying, "Daddy home!"

We went to Bear Lake last weekend. We swam once, and then just stayed in the condo the whole time. We watched movies, read a lot of books, and you and Jonah colored a lot. That was almost the only thing you were interested in. It was fun to do things with you, and just spend the whole day with you. It was the first trip where we weren't worried about Jonah's pants so much, and we didn't take the Pea Pod for you. You and Jonah slept in a bed. It was a little difficult getting you to sleep the first night, but you both did really well after that. I'm getting more and more excited to go places with the two of you. It's so much easier without all the extra equipment. Hopefully you'll potty train this summer, and then we'll be in good shape. We have some fun trips planned.

The past two days you've gotten up very early, before I left for work. You are so cute in your jammies with your bed head hairdo, trying to block out the light. You're also very snuggly when you're tired. I think it's amusing how independent you are. I bet if I wasn't there, you'd come down the hall, open the fridge, get out a bran muffin, and have your own breakfast all by yourself. I love when I sit down next to you at the table and you lean over to snuggle against me while you're eating.

You are a super-cute little girl. I love to tickle you and hear you laugh. I love to snuggle you, and hold hands while we're walking somewhere. I love to watch you learn all the things Jonah does by himself, because you want to be independent too. It's hard for me as a parent, because I love to see you grow up, but I want you to stay my little girl forever. I love you.

Love,

Daddy